by  139 votes 72 voters 58,578 views 25 items tags f p @

Golf Jokes

List Criteria: Jokes about golf, golfers, and golfing

List of Golf Jokes and humor, culled from TV shows, films, stand-up comedy and pop culture. These one-liners and humorous anecdotes look at Golf Jokes from a variety of perspectives, and try to find humor in wry observations, through irony and sarcasm, and even just by being silly. Human beings love to laugh, and being able to notice life's little absurdities can make even bad days seem a bit cheerier. Some of these jokes about Golf Jokes are designed with that in mind, from amusing little witticisms to obscure references to puns. Others take a more satirical approach to the subject of Golf Jokes, mining hypocrisy and criticism for laughs.

The jokes on this page take many forms and are written in different formats. Some have a very traditional set-up/punchline style, with the set-up in bold and the punchline written smaller in the space below. Others are more like mini-stories or scenarios, in which case they've simply been broken up in a way that's convenient and easy to read. Go through them all and vote for your favorites!

Golf Jokes Anything
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  1. 1
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    What is the difference between a lost golf ball and the G-spot?

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    A man will spend 5 minutes looking for the lost golf ball.
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    Time to improve

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    There are three ways to improve your golf game: take lessons, practice constantly... or start cheating.
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    Do you know why there are 18 holes on a golf course?

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    Because that's how long it took the Scots who invented the game to finish their bottle of whiskey!
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    What do golf and sex have in common?

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    They're two things you can enjoy even if you're bad at both of them.
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    The less intelligent the player

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    The more certain he is to offer insights into the mental side of the game.
  7. 7
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    If you really want to get better at golf

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    Go back and take it up at a much earlier age.
  8. 8
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    No matter how badly you are playing

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    It is always possible to play worse.
  9. 9
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    Did you hear about the golfer who got shot yesterday?

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    Yes, they said it was a hole in Juan.
  10. 10
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    Two kinds of bounces

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    Unfair bounces, and bounces just the way you meant to play it.
  11. 11
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    If there is a ball in the fringe and a ball in the bunker

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    Your ball is in the bunker.
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    Why do golfers always carry two pairs of trousers with them?

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    Just in case they had a hole in one.
  13. 13
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    What do you call 1,000 golfers lined up on a pebble beach holding hands?

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    Pebble Beach Golf Links.
  14. 14
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    I'm hitting the woods just great...

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    But having a terrible time getting out of them!
  15. 15
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    Be Tiger Woods

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    If you want to hit a 7-iron as far as Tiger Woods does, simply try to lay up just short of a water hazard.
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    The less skilled the player

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    The more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing.
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    Word G.O.L.F.

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    My uncle, who has golfed all his life, has his own definition of the word G.O.L.F.: Getting Old and Living Fine!
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    Think

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    Whatever you think you’re doing wrong is the one thing you’re doing right.
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    Golf a Sin?

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    After church one Sunday, one of the church goers walked up to his priest and said, "Father, is it a sin to play golf on Sundays?" "My son," said the priest, putting his hand on the man's shoulder, "I've seen your golf game, it's a sin any day".
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    Where can you find 100 doctors all at the same place on any given day?

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    "A golf course!!"
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