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List Rules Jokes about golf, golfers, and golfing

List of Golf Jokes and humor, culled from TV shows, films, stand-up comedy and pop culture. These one-liners and humorous anecdotes look at Golf Jokes from a variety of perspectives, and try to find humor in wry observations, through irony and sarcasm, and even just by being silly. Human beings love to laugh, and being able to notice life's little absurdities can make even bad days seem a bit cheerier. Some of these jokes about Golf Jokes are designed with that in mind, from amusing little witticisms to obscure references to puns. Others take a more satirical approach to the subject of Golf Jokes, mining hypocrisy and criticism for laughs.

The jokes on this page take many forms and are written in different formats. Some have a very traditional set-up/punchline style, with the set-up in bold and the punchline written smaller in the space below. Others are more like mini-stories or scenarios, in which case they've simply been broken up in a way that's convenient and easy to read. Go through them all and vote for your favorites!
Collection Photo: user uploaded image
What is the difference between... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list Golf Jokes
Photo: Paul Vladuchick/Flickr
+ - 22 13

What is the difference between a lost golf ball and the G-spot?

A man will spend 5 minutes looking for the lost golf ball.
Time to improve is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list Golf Jokes
Photo: Janet Tarbox/Flickr
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Time to improve

There are three ways to improve your golf game: take lessons, practice constantly... or start cheating.
Do you know why there are 18 h... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list Golf Jokes
Photo: Fort George G. Meade Public Affairs Office/Flickr
+ - 9 6

Do you know why there are 18 holes on a golf course?

Because that's how long it took the Scots who invented the game to finish their bottle of whiskey!
The less intelligent the playe... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list Golf Jokes
Photo: user uploaded image
+ - 4 3

The less intelligent the player

The more certain he is to offer insights into the mental side of the game.
Golf a Sin? is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list Golf Jokes
Photo: Stefan Heinisch/Flickr
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Golf a Sin?

After church one Sunday, one of the church goers walked up to his priest and said, "Father, is it a sin to play golf on Sundays?" "My son," said the priest, putting his hand on the man's shoulder, "I've seen your golf game, it's a sin any day".
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Unanswered Prayer

Unanswered Prayer is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list Golf Jokes
Photo: Dane Low/Flickr
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Did you hear about the golfer ... is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list Golf Jokes
Photo: U.S. Army/Flickr
+ - 4 4

Did you hear about the golfer who got shot yesterday?

Yes, they said it was a hole in Juan.
If you really want to get bett... is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list Golf Jokes
Photo: user uploaded image
+ - 4 4

If you really want to get better at golf

Go back and take it up at a much earlier age.