'Goon' features an all-star cast. In addition to Seann William Scott, the movie also stars Jay Baruchel, Liev Schreiber, Alison Pill, Eugene Levy and Marc-Andre Grondin. As Doug "The Thug" makes his way up to major Canadian hockey, he gets hired to defend Xavier Laflamme (Grondin), a player still recovering from an on-ice attack by Ross "The Boss" Rhea (Schreiber). Can Doug keep his teammate safe? Doug pretty much beats all the odds to get to the big leagues in hockey...especially considering the fact that he can't skate, and he really can't play the game!
They Just Want You to Bleed
Ross "The Boss" Rhea (Liev Schreiber) is Doug's idol -- but he's obviously slightly mentally unbalanced, and ready to walk away. That doesn't mean, however, that he won't kick Doug's a** if given the opportunity...
Ross: "You know they just want you to bleed, right?"
Doug: "I'm here to do whatever they need me to do, you know? If they need me to bleed, then I'll bleed for my team."
Ross: "Yeah. I suppose you heard I'm gonna retire at the end of the season. I've been at this since I was 17, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna go out like some nancy-boy, middle aged f*ck. You understand?"
Doug: "Yeah, I understand."
Ross: "You have my respect. Whatever that means to you, you got it. But know that in your heart, if ever there comes a time when it gets down to the marrow and it's just you and me, kid, I will lay you the f*ck out."
Herpes in the Parking Lot
As part of his job as an enforcer, Doug has to guard anyone who comes after Xavier Laflamme (Marc-Andre Grondin). Laflamme is a bit of a loose cannon, who may or may not carry a sexually transmitted disease.
Doug: "Where is LaFlamme?"
Gord Ogilvey: "Probably giving some single mother herpes out in the parking lot."
Nicest Thing Ever
Eva, not surprisingly, quickly becomes Doug's love interest. And, amazingly, she likes him enough to stop screwing other hockey players. What a lady!
Eva: "You make me wanna stop sleeping with a bunch of guys."
Doug: "That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me."
Eva (Alison Pill) is a die-hard hockey fan who makes no bones about it (so to speak): She loves hockey players, she loves violence -- and now, she apparently loves Doug, too.
Eva: "Hi there, I'm Eva. I dig hockey players."
Doug: "Eva, I really like your name. I think it's a pretty name. Like your face. You've got a pretty name and a pretty face."