Hateful, Hateful Cartoon Characters

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Saturday morning cartoons. The staple of my childhood. But there was a stink in the flower field... and these characters were responsible. Even as a kid, they made my teeth clench.

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    The Wonder Twins

    Ah, the Wonder Twins. Take them on their own, and I guess they aren't so offensive... but put them on Superfriends and they become supremely irritating. Sucking drama out of every episode, every mission... getting in constant trouble to be rescued from. Squeaky voices. Stupid costumes. And lamest powers ever. Form of an ice bucket? What?!

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    "Snarf, snarf" Hate. Deep, abiding hatred for all 'comic relief' characters designed only to be 'relatable' and 'cute' and dumb. Always dumb. Apparently dumb = funny? Only hate.

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    Another sidekick that ruined a decent superhero. Why can't we just have crimefighting? Why does it have to be "funny"? Why?!!

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    Oh god, did I hate this monkey. Look, I know the Superfriends was no quality show... but I wanted to watch the Superheroes be superhero-y. I did NOT want to watch the stupid monkey get into trouble and do "funny" things. And yet, somehow... every single episode, there he was with his single working brain cell... doing stupid things that got in the way of Justice League business. I have no idea why Superman never picked this little f**ker up and tossed him into the sun.

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    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Character design... HAHAHA HAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAH....gasp....purple scarf..... HAHA HAH AHAHAHAAAA!

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    Way to ruin Batman and Robin, guys. Do we really need a mentally disabled magical loser from another dimension on a show with THE GODDAMN BATMAN on it? Really?

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