- 6Up 6Down 0
Don't Punch the Driver Added by: Kel VarnsenKurt: "You don't f*cking punch the driver!"BUY @ AMAZON
Nick: "Yeah, you don't punch the driver, man."
Dale: "I'm coked out of my f*cking head, I can punch whoever I want to!"
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Meet Mother F**kerDean 'MF' Jones: "I think I can help you boys."BUY @ AMAZON
Kurt: "Are you a businessman?"
Dean 'MF' Jones: "Mother F**ker Jones."
Dale: "Your first name is 'Mother F**ker'?"
Dean 'MF' Jones: "My real name is Dean."
Nick: "Dean Jones. That's the same name of the actor in 'Herbie and the Love Bug.'"
Dean 'MF' Jones: "I know who he is bitch. I can't walk around this f**kin neighborhood with that Disney-ass name."
Jamie Foxx, as MF Jones, doesn't pull any punches with the guys. He also has serious issues with his name.
- 8Up 6Down 2
Wet WorkDale: "Your ad said you do wet work?"BUY @ AMAZON
Not the Hit Man: "I urinate on other men for money. Why else do you think my ad was in a 'Men Seeking Men' section."
(argument breaks out between Nick, Dale and Kurt)
Dale: "We are men, looking for a man!"
So. You hire your very first hit man to whack your bosses - great! Now the bad news: He's going to pee on you, not kill your employer.
- 9Up 6Down 2
Goodbye, Gam-GamNick: "You know that last month you made me work so late that I missed saying goodbye to my Gam-Gam?"BUY @ AMAZON
Dave: "I'm sorry, what?"
Nick: "My grandmother. I told you that I needed to see her because she was very, very sick. You said if I left early I'd get fired - and she died before I made it to the hospital."
Dave: "I'm sorry."
Nick: "Thank you."
Dave: "I had no idea that you called your grandmother 'Gam-Gam.' (laughing hysterically) "Sorry. Sorry that you didn't get to say bye-bye to Gam-Gam..."
Kevin Spacey's horrible boss, Dave, will likely resonate with many who've been stuck in a bad job with no nope of getting out. Here's hoping he gets what's coming to him. For Gam-Gam!!
- 10Up 4Down 1
James BondKurt: "He looks like James Bond!"BUY @ AMAZON
Dale: "He really does, dude! I bet he carries one of those guns that you screw together...like the coolest guns they make, man!"
Nick: "This is so dangerous - what if that's an undercover cop? Or better yet, what if it's the real thing and he charges so much money, we can't afford it, he gets pissed off and kills us!"
Dale: "That's not gonna...he kills one of us?! Hold on - could that happen?"
(Not a Hitman knocks)
Nick: "Gotta let him in now."
Kurt: "How's my hair?"
Nick: "What do you mean, how's my hair?!"
Kurt: "It doesn't matter...okay, let's do this."
Yeah um, these guys just can't catch a break. Dale hires this so-called "hit man" - and yeah, they should be worried. Not for the reason you think, however....
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