- 7+ 8- 1
Don't Punch the Driver Added by: Kel Varnsen
Kurt: "You don't f*cking punch the driver!"
Nick: "Yeah, you don't punch the driver, man."
Dale: "I'm coked out of my f*cking head, I can punch whoever I want to!"
- 8+ 8- 2
Nick: "You know that last month you made me work so late that I missed saying goodbye to my Gam-Gam?"
Dave: "I'm sorry, what?"
Nick: "My grandmother. I told you that I needed to see her because she was very, very sick. You said if I left early I'd get fired - and she died before I made it to the hospital."
Dave: "I'm sorry."
Nick: "Thank you."
Dave: "I had no idea that you called your grandmother 'Gam-Gam.' (laughing hysterically) "Sorry. Sorry that you didn't get to say bye-bye to Gam-Gam..."
Kevin Spacey's horrible boss, Dave, will likely resonate with many who've been stuck in a bad job with no nope of getting out. Here's hoping he gets what's coming to him. For Gam-Gam!!
- 9+ 7- 3
Dale: "Your ad said you do wet work?"
Not the Hit Man: "I urinate on other men for money. Why else do you think my ad was in a 'Men Seeking Men' section."
(argument breaks out between Nick, Dale and Kurt)
Dale: "We are men, looking for a man!"
So. You hire your very first hit man to whack your bosses - great! Now the bad news: He's going to pee on you, not kill your employer.
- 10+ 5- 1
- 11+ 5- 1
A Little Snack
Kurt: "Your boss is incredibly hot."
Dale: "Don't talk about how hot she is."
Kurt: "I was looking at your boss. She makes herself a little snack. A popsicle. A banana. And finally, a hot dog. And eating them in that weird order - that's not a proper meal."
Nick: "It's cold to hot."
Dale: "So you took the penis foods as an invitation to f**k her?"
Kurt: "No, I took her invitation to f**k her, as an invitation to f**k her!"
The guys decide to stake out each others bosses, to figure out their habits. Kurt gets Julia - and her habit is simple: sex.
- 12+ 5- 2
Earn the Promotion
Dave: "You want one?"
Nick: "It's 8 o'clock in the morning."
Dave: "It's 18-year-old Scotch - you want a promotion, you gotta earn it."
Nick: (downs Scotch)
You think your boss is crap? How about Dave (Kevin Spacey), who forces Nick to drink earrrrrrrrrrrrrly in the morning, basically assuring him it'll earn him brownie points toward a promotion. Does he GET the promotion? No. No, he doesn't. At least he got a nice taste of fine Scotch? He may need more.
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