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Don't Punch the Driver Added by: Kel VarnsenKurt: "You don't f*cking punch the driver!"
Nick: "Yeah, you don't punch the driver, man."
Dale: "I'm coked out of my f*cking head, I can punch whoever I want to!"
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Wet WorkDale: "Your ad said you do wet work?"
Not the Hit Man: "I urinate on other men for money. Why else do you think my ad was in a 'Men Seeking Men' section."
(argument breaks out between Nick, Dale and Kurt)
Dale: "We are men, looking for a man!"
So. You hire your very first hit man to whack your bosses - great! Now the bad news: He's going to pee on you, not kill your employer.
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Meet Mother F**kerDean 'MF' Jones: "I think I can help you boys."
Kurt: "Are you a businessman?"
Dean 'MF' Jones: "Mother F**ker Jones."
Dale: "Your first name is 'Mother F**ker'?"
Dean 'MF' Jones: "My real name is Dean."
Nick: "Dean Jones. That's the same name of the actor in 'Herbie and the Love Bug.'"
Dean 'MF' Jones: "I know who he is bitch. I can't walk around this f**kin neighborhood with that Disney-ass name."
Jamie Foxx, as MF Jones, doesn't pull any punches with the guys. He also has serious issues with his name.
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Goodbye, Gam-GamNick: "You know that last month you made me work so late that I missed saying goodbye to my Gam-Gam?"
Dave: "I'm sorry, what?"
Nick: "My grandmother. I told you that I needed to see her because she was very, very sick. You said if I left early I'd get fired - and she died before I made it to the hospital."
Dave: "I'm sorry."
Nick: "Thank you."
Dave: "I had no idea that you called your grandmother 'Gam-Gam.' (laughing hysterically) "Sorry. Sorry that you didn't get to say bye-bye to Gam-Gam..."
Kevin Spacey's horrible boss, Dave, will likely resonate with many who've been stuck in a bad job with no nope of getting out. Here's hoping he gets what's coming to him. For Gam-Gam!!
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Earn the PromotionDave: "You want one?"
Nick: "It's 8 o'clock in the morning."
Dave: "It's 18-year-old Scotch - you want a promotion, you gotta earn it."
Nick: (downs Scotch)
You think your boss is crap? How about Dave (Kevin Spacey), who forces Nick to drink earrrrrrrrrrrrrly in the morning, basically assuring him it'll earn him brownie points toward a promotion. Does he GET the promotion? No. No, he doesn't. At least he got a nice taste of fine Scotch? He may need more.
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