- 9+ 6- 1
A Little Snack
Kurt: "Your boss is incredibly hot."
Dale: "Don't talk about how hot she is."
Kurt: "I was looking at your boss. She makes herself a little snack. A popsicle. A banana. And finally, a hot dog. And eating them in that weird order - that's not a proper meal."
Nick: "It's cold to hot."
Dale: "So you took the penis foods as an invitation to f**k her?"
Kurt: "No, I took her invitation to f**k her, as an invitation to f**k her!"
The guys decide to stake out each others bosses, to figure out their habits. Kurt gets Julia - and her habit is simple: sex.
- 10+ 7- 3
Dale: "Your ad said you do wet work?"
Not the Hit Man: "I urinate on other men for money. Why else do you think my ad was in a 'Men Seeking Men' section."
(argument breaks out between Nick, Dale and Kurt)
Dale: "We are men, looking for a man!"
So. You hire your very first hit man to whack your bosses - great! Now the bad news: He's going to pee on you, not kill your employer.
- 11+ 6- 2
Earn the Promotionv
Dave: "You want one?"
Nick: "It's 8 o'clock in the morning."
Dave: "It's 18-year-old Scotch - you want a promotion, you gotta earn it."
Nick: (downs Scotch)
You think your boss is crap? How about Dave (Kevin Spacey), who forces Nick to drink earrrrrrrrrrrrrly in the morning, basically assuring him it'll earn him brownie points toward a promotion. Does he GET the promotion? No. No, he doesn't. At least he got a nice taste of fine Scotch? He may need more.
- 12+ 5- 1
Dale: "At least your boss isn't sexually harassing you."
Really Dale, come on, sexual harassment is certainly a serious matter - but at least your boss is Jennifer Aniston. How bad could it really be?
- 13+ 4- 2v
Kurt: "He looks like James Bond!"
Dale: "He really does, dude! I bet he carries one of those guns that you screw together...like the coolest guns they make, man!"
Nick: "This is so dangerous - what if that's an undercover cop? Or better yet, what if it's the real thing and he charges so much money, we can't afford it, he gets pissed off and kills us!"
Dale: "That's not gonna...he kills one of us?! Hold on - could that happen?"
(Not a Hitman knocks)
Nick: "Gotta let him in now."
Kurt: "How's my hair?"
Nick: "What do you mean, how's my hair?!"
Kurt: "It doesn't matter...okay, let's do this."
Yeah um, these guys just can't catch a break. Dale hires this so-called "hit man" - and yeah, they should be worried. Not for the reason you think, however....
- 14+ 3- 2
Nick: (voice over) "I get to work before the sun comes up and I leave long after it's gone down. I haven't had sex in six months with someone other than myself. And the only thing in my refrigerator is an old lime. Could be a kiwi, no way to tell. But here's the thing, this is just temporary."
- 15+ 3- 2
Dave: "I have decided who I want to be our new vice president of sales...me!"
Nick: "What did he say?"
Dave: "Nick? Please, we're in the middle of a meeting."
Dave: "That's alright, I'll just attribute this to your drinking problem."
Yes, Nick gets passed over for the big promotion, despite taking all kinds of sh*t from his boss (and drinking his precious Scotch, then being accused of having a 'drinking problem'). This cannot end well...
- 16+ 0- 0
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