"Identity Thief" movie quotes take viewers through a comical tale of what happens when an average joe takes it upon himself to track down a conniving woman who has stolen his identity. The comedy film was written by Craig Mazin and directed by Seth Gordon. "Identity Thief," originally titled "ID Theft," was released in theaters on February 8, 2013.
In "Identity Thief," Jason Bateman plays the victim Sandy Bigelow Patterson. When trying to fill his car with gas his credit card is declined and subsequently cut up for suspicious transactions. Upon calling his credit card company, which was not successful by the way, he's pulled over and learns that not only is something wrong with his credit card but he has warrants for his arrest too. A little detective work reveals that his identity has been stolen by a short woman named Diana (Melissa McCarthy). At first Sandy is relieved that this can easily be sorted out but then upset to learn the cops won't pull this woman in and fix it all.
So Sandy sets out to find this woman and bring her back to Colorado to face the music. This is easier said than done, especially as Diana will take every opportunity to lose Sandy. But it gets worse. Not only is Sandy looking for Diana but so are others, including those highly dangerous and out for blood. Genesis Rodriguez, Amanda Peet, Maggie Elizabeth Jones, T.I., Jon Favreau, Morris Chestnut and Eric Stonestreet also appear in the film.If "Identity Thief" is not quite your style, there are plenty of other great movies in theaters such as "Django Unchained," "Killing Them Softly," "Hitchcock," "Skyfall," "Lincoln," "Flight," "Playing for Keeps," "Silver Linings Playbook," "Anna Karenina," "This Must Be the Place," "Cloud Atlas," "Wreck-It Ralph," "Nobody Walks," "The Sessions," "Red Dawn," "Chasing Mavericks," "Rise of the Guardians," "Argo," and "Looper."
I Pick the Easy Way
Sandy: "We're gonna have a little chat."
Sandy: "We can do it the hard way or the easy way."
Diana: "I'd like to pick the easy way."
Sandy: "Get over here and give me your wrists."
Sandy: "Now I have a plan…"
[Diana attacks Sandy]
Why Don't We Swap Information
Diana: "Ugh, my neck!"
Sandy: "Neck hurts, huh? Why don't we swap information, Sandy Bigelow Patterson. Bigelow's such a rare name."
Diana: "It's a family name. Jeremiah Bigelow was a pretty well known bear hunter."
Sandy: "He sounds brave. Here's my driver's license with my name, Sandy Bigelow Patterson. Gotcha!"
The Rental Car
[Sandy runs Diana's van off the road causing it to roll]
Sandy: "Oh, thank god, you're all right though, huh?"
Diana: "Yeah, the rental car doesn't even have a scratch on it."
Sandy: "Woo, that's great news. The car is fine. What's more important…"
[Semi-truck smashes the rental car]
Diana: "Oh, you should have put your hazards on."
What Are You?
Sandy: "Come with me to Denver and I won't press charges. You're going to love it. There's no one shooting at you there."
Diana: "You got nothing!"
Sandy: [runs after Diana, easily passing her] "I can do this all day with you."
Diana: "What are you, a Kenyan?"