Jack and Jill Movie Quotes By Movie and TV Quotes [174 more lists]

'Jack and Jill' movie quotes include some of the best lines from this 2011 Adam Sandler comedy. In the film, Sandler plays ad executive Jack Sadelstein. When Jack's wacky twin sister, Jill (also Sandler), comes to visit for the holidays, she wreaks havoc on Jack's normally tranquil, quiet life. I've included some of the funniest 'Jack and Jill' quotes on this list, though I'm sure I've missed a few. If you can't find what you think are the best quotes from the movie, add them! Also, be sure to vote for the quotes you think are the best (or the worst - you can easily vote them down as well).

'Jack and Jill' is directed by Dennis Dugan ('Parenthood,' 'Just Go With It') and the movie also stars Katie Holmes and Al Pacino (as himself). Several other big name celebrities appear in the film as themselves, including Shaquille O'Neal, Drew Carey and Regis Philbin. Despite some pretty hilariously negative movie reviews, 'Jack and Jill' still managed to become a hit at the box office. Since it was released on November 11, 2011, 'Jack and Jill' has taken in nearly $71 million at U.S. theaters. It seems that Adam Sandler movie fans are not deterred, even by scathing reviews!

If you like these 'Jack and Jill' movie quotes, you might enjoy these other lists of funny movie quotes, including 'The Muppets,' 'Hugo,' 'Arthur Christmas,' 'Happy Feet Two,' 'A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas,' 'Tower Heist,' 'The Rum Diary,' 'Puss in Boots,' 'Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star' and '50/50.'

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He's Homeless, Right?

Jack: "Jill this is Otto."
Otto: "Nice to meet you."
Jill: (Yells) :Nice to meet you! He's homeless, right?"
Jack: "Are you whispering with a bull horn or something? Everybody hears you."

Jill is nothing if not subtle. Poor Otto.
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Busted and Disgusted

Gary: "Busted, disgusted - never to be trusted!"

Jack's son, Gary (Rohan Chand) has some of the funniest one-liners in 'Jack and Jill.'
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Fatter and Balder

Jill: "Are you going bald?"
Jack: "Huh?"
Jill: "No no no, you're getting fatter, and your hair doesn't realize it needs to cover more face."
Jack: "Okay."

Or perhaps his forehead is growing larger, Jill? Classic passive-aggressive behavior. Jack is in for a really rough few days...
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Internet Thing

Jill: "What is this Internet thing? You KNOW I don't understand those things - I don't even OWN a calculator!"

In addition to being one of the most annoying house guests in history, Jill is apparently also grossly inept when it comes to the basics of technology. Do NOT let her near your computer, Jack. You'll regret it.
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Nocturnal Twin

Office worker: "What's this about a twin?"
Joel Farley: "Oh, Jack, he has a twin sister."
Office worker: "Identical or fraternal?"
Joel Farley: "Uh, nocturnal. Like a bat."

Let's face it: Adam Sandler makes one seriously unattractive woman. And she is a little bit bat-like...
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Twister With Your Sister

Jack: "This is insane, man, you've got to call him!"
Jill: "Oh will you stop already? You know all he wants to do is play Twister with your sister."

When Jill takes Jack to a Lakers game, she gets hit on by none other than Al Pacino. Yes, you read that right. Jack thinks she's nuts for not going crazy over Pacino's advances. Strangely, she seems indifferent. Jill: You are a 40-something, unmarried woman. Al Pacino is STILL hot. Play Twister.
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Feel That?

Erin: "Some twins can feel when the other one is hurt."
(Jack's son, Gary, punches Jill)
Jill: "Ow!"
Gary: "Feel that?"
Jack: "I actually did feel something there. Pride in my son."

Jack really isn't having the best of holidays, what with his obnoxious twin sister Jill around. His son's decision to test the whole "twins can feel each others pain" theory is pretty funny.
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Four Days

Jack: "I love my sister, and I can keep my cool. It's just for four days."

Anyone else thinking that Jill's four-day visit might be extended? Like, for weeks? Me neither.
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Mirror Images

Al Pacino: "Your sister and I grew up on the same streets. When I look at her, I see me."
Jack: "When I look at her I see me too."

Pacino totally identifies, for some unknown reason, with Jill. And he thinks she's hot. Al Pacino is playing a crazy person in 'Jack and Jill.'
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Hanukkah

Jill: "Maybe I should stay through Hanukkah..."

Annnnnnd cute Jack's nervous breakdown. Four days? You actually, really and truly thought Jill would only be with you for a matter of a few days?!
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Dunkin Donuts Commercial

Jack: "This is the guy who's gonna do a Dunkin Donuts commercial."

Al Pacino...in a Dunkin Donuts commercial?! Yep, but there's a catch - Pacino is apparently suffering some huge nervous breakdown. That's about the ONLY way you'd get him to do a Dunkin Donuts commercial...
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Not Alike

Gary: "You and Jill are so alike!"
Jack: "We are nothing alike, I promise you."

When Jack's son, Gary, decides to point out Jack and Jill's similarities, Jack (understandably) gets irritated. The kid, however, isn't too far off with this observation...
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Email

Jack (yelling, loudly): "She's forwarding her mail to us now!"

Yes Jack, Jill is digging in and settling down for the long haul. You know you're in deep trouble when your horrible house guest forwards mail to your home...
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