talk shows Jon-isms: Funny Jon Stewart Quotes  

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Jon Stewart once said 'Insomnia is my greatest inspiration.' Taking inspiration from this Jon Stewart quote, we can now have a list of all Jon Stewart quotes, gaffes and other Jon-isms. Read all the funny Jon Stewart quotes from the host of The Daily Show With Jon Stewart.

While some think Stewart is hilarious, others feel Stewart laughs at his own jokes, always, without fail and without reason. Nevertheless, Jon Stewart has never missed to come up with his dumb and funny gaffes, on and off the show. The classic Jon Stewart bloopers and gaffes are abundant and reading through this list is a fool-proof stress-buster.

As host of The Daily Show, Stewart is paid to talk politics, including pointing out the gaffes and funny quotes of others. Lucky for him, he had plenty of readily available material at his disposal with President Bush in office. Between Bush talking about war and Vice President Cheney going to war with a hunting buddy, Stewart had no shortage of topics on which to comment.

Bush and Cheney may be gone from office, but the quotes about them from Jon Stewart will live on forever.
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Hillary Clinton vs. Barack Obama

"Democrats do have a historic race going. Hillary Clinton vs. Barack Obama. Normally, when you see a black man or a woman president an asteroid is about to hit the Statue of Liberty."
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The Flag Burning Amendment

"Even if the flag burning amendment does become law, the larger problem will remain of how to respectfully dispose of older, tattered flags. Well, fortunately the U.S. official Flag Code has a suggestion about this. Quote: 'The flag, when it is in such a condition that it is no longer a fitting emblem of display, should be destroyed in a dignified way, preferably by burning.' Owwwwcchh. In response, the House Republicans are calling for tattered flags to be kept alive via a feeding tube."
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Terrorism and Gay People

"That's what terrorism and gay people are for."

--In response to a clip of President Bush stating, "America needs to conduct this debate on immigration in a reasoned and respectful tone...We cannot build a unified country by inciting people to anger or playing on anyone's fears."
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A Modern-Day, Beachfront Sodom and Gomorrah

"A lot of people say that this town is too liberal, out of touch with mainstream America, an atheistic pleasure dome, a modern-day, beachfront Sodom and Gomorrah, a moral black hole where innocence is obliterated in an endless orgy of sexual gratification and greed. I don't really have a joke here. I just thought you should know a lot of people are saying that."

--On Hollywood, California
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Dick Cheney Shot Bjork

"I do have some sad news to report. Bjork could not be here. She was trying on her Oscars dress and Dick Cheney shot her."

--At the Academy Awards
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Voting for a Winner

"The Oscars is really I guess the one night of the year when you can see all your favorite stars without having to donate any money to the Democratic Party. And it's exciting for the stars as well because it's the first time many of you have ever voted for a winner."

--While hosting the Academy Awards
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Thomas Jefferson or Hermann Goering?

"Thomas Jefferson once said: 'Of course the people don't want war. But the people can be brought to the bidding of their leader. All you have to do is tell them they're being attacked and denounce the pacifists for somehow a lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.' I think that was Jefferson. Oh wait. That was Hermann Goering. Shoot."

--While hosting the Peabody Awards
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John Ashcroft Bid Farewell

"Attorney General John Ashcroft bid farewell to the Justice Department with a goodbye address. The voluntary resignation came as a bit of a disappointment to the attorney general, who had hoped to be raptured out of office."