reddit The Best Latvian Jokes  

402 votes 199 voters 7.8k views 25 items Follow Embed

List Rules Man tell joke for bread feed family. But is not bread. Is rock. Family die from malnourish.

“What is Latvian joke?” You might be asking, hoping you’re not speaking to politburo. Latvian jokes are short examinations aimed at poking fun at the every day life of farmers and townsfolk living in a country that’s still suffering from Soviet era isolationism. Also they’re really funny. The best Latvian jokes are able to espouse the concept that living in a freezing, war torn country with very little food is basically a nightmare, and they also make all of that funny. Short Latvian jokes usually work in a reference to a potato, a rock, and the ever present politburo before ending the joke with a killer punch line. Literally, someone usually dies at the end of the funniest Latvian jokes. If you’re still not sure what Latvian jokes are, read this list of the funniest Latvian jokes while you dream about potato.

This Latvian joke list is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to Latvian jokes. After all, much of life in Latvia is a joke. Except it’s not funny and very cold. If after reading this list you decide to craft the best Lativian joke known to Eastern Europe, send it in and we’ll send you a potato for your hard work. Although, word to the wise, don’t run any of these jokes by your Latvian friends (if you have any), they might not think they’re as funny as everyone else does. Vote on your favorite Latvian joke, hopefully is actually not rock.

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Two Latvian Look at Clouds is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Best Latvian Jokes
Two Latvian Look at Clouds One see potato. Other see impossible dream. Is same cloud.

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Why Does Latvian Man Like Mash... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Best Latvian Jokes
Why Does Latvian Man Like Mashed Potatoes? Is krushed like dreams

3
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Latvian Comedian Say "Wha... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Best Latvian Jokes
Latvian Comedian Say "What Deal With Potato?" Latvian crowd not laugh.  Comedian squint into darkness to see crowd. There no crowd. All die from malnourish.

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Latvian Stare at Plate Full of... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Best Latvian Jokes
Latvian Stare at Plate Full of Potatoes. “Is Too Good be True!” He Think. Of course too good be true. Is but feverish dream cause by malnourish.

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Latvian Farmer Grow Many Potat... is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The Best Latvian Jokes
Latvian Farmer Grow Many Potatoes With Son Secret Police then take potatoes away.Farmer wake up and think “Of course just dream. Son is dead.”

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Knock Knock. Who's There? ... is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list The Best Latvian Jokes
Knock Knock. Who's There? Latvian. Latvian who? Please open door. Is cold.

7
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One Day, Latvian Her Knock at ... is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The Best Latvian Jokes
One Day, Latvian Her Knock at the Door Man as "who is?" "Is potato man, I come around to give away free potato." Man is very excite and open door. Is not potato man, is secret police.

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Is So Cold. How Cold Is It? is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The Best Latvian Jokes
Is So Cold. How Cold Is It? Very. Also dark.

9
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Latvian Girl Say, “I Want Go A... is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list The Best Latvian Jokes
Latvian Girl Say, “I Want Go America One Day.” Father say, “I send you America.”Daughter is thank father. Make tears of happy. Father use to salt potato.Father think moment, say, “Daughter, I no send you America.”Potato needed more salt.

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How Many Latvians is Take to S... is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list The Best Latvian Jokes
How Many Latvians is Take to Screw in Lightbulb Only one. Obtain light bulb is hard part. You have potato?

11
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Man Tell Joke for Bread Feed F... is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list The Best Latvian Jokes
Man Tell Joke for Bread Feed Family. But is not bread. Is rock. Family die from malnourish.

12
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Man Is Hungry, He Steal Bread ... is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list The Best Latvian Jokes
Man Is Hungry, He Steal Bread to Feed Them Get home, find all family have gone to Siberia! "More bread for me," man think. Bread have worm.

13
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Latvian Try to Cross River. Ha... is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list The Best Latvian Jokes
Latvian Try to Cross River. Has Dog, Potatoes, & Dead Son’s Body. Can only take two across river at one time.If leave dog with potatoes or corpse, dog eat them. Is very sad.Also is not good boat.

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Latvian Walk Into Bar With Mul... is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list The Best Latvian Jokes
Latvian Walk Into Bar With Mule Bartender say, "why long face?" Latvian say, "I was thinking of my daughter. She has been lie with soldier for potato feed baby." 

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Two Latvian Look at Cloud is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list The Best Latvian Jokes
Two Latvian Look at Cloud Whole sky is clouds. Weather is bad.  Latvian are cold.

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I Hear Amerika Have Potato Siz... is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list The Best Latvian Jokes
I Hear Amerika Have Potato Size of Couch What is couch?

17
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What Komrad Say to Komrad With... is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list The Best Latvian Jokes
What Komrad Say to Komrad With Potato? Nothing. Is kapitalist spy, tell politburo.

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Latvian is Pray For Months for... is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list The Best Latvian Jokes
Latvian is Pray For Months for Potato Next day potatoes rain from sky! All town dead by potato to head.

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Man Go to Store for Buy Potato is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list The Best Latvian Jokes
Man Go to Store for Buy Potato Polis go to home, killing of wife. Man return of house have potato, polis take potato. Man have no wife, no potato.

20
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Can God Make Potato so Small S... is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list The Best Latvian Jokes
Can God Make Potato so Small Secret Police Will Not Confiscate? No, because is no God.

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Two Latvians are Argue Over Vo... is listed (or ranked) 21 on the list The Best Latvian Jokes
Two Latvians are Argue Over Vodka One say, “For wodka, I give you daughter.” Friend say OK. Deal is struck. But he is surprise! She deformed by malnutrition.

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Why Latvians Never Play Hot Po... is listed (or ranked) 22 on the list The Best Latvian Jokes
Why Latvians Never Play Hot Potato? Potato is never not silly. Also, no potato.

23
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Man is Talk With Politburo is listed (or ranked) 23 on the list The Best Latvian Jokes
Man is Talk With Politburo Man sez:"Politburo, why iz when time was hard and no potato, there were only one set of footprintz? Why is abandon, Politburo?"Politburo iz say:"Latvia, Politburo is no abandon, that were Politburo seizing potato ...

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I Skream, You Skream, We All S... is listed (or ranked) 24 on the list The Best Latvian Jokes
I Skream, You Skream, We All Skreams for Potato Nobody here screams. Everyone ded from malnutrition.

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How to Play Latvian Roulette? is listed (or ranked) 25 on the list The Best Latvian Jokes
How to Play Latvian Roulette? to play latvia rolettyou give potatos to friendeverybody eat potatoexcept one is rot potatowhoever eat is dieexcept every potato is rot potatoexcept no even rot potato in latviapolitburo is beat for try to have funsuch is life ...