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- 1+ 89- 15
Taste the Rainbow
Howie: "You're so huge, like a giant bag of Skittles."
Madea: "You better get the hell up or when I come back up in here you know what's gonna happen? You're gonna taste the rainbowwwwwww."
George Needleman's son, Howie (Devan Leos), learns the same lesson his dad learns: Get up out of bed and do NOT sleep in or smart off to Madea. Ever.
- 2+ 13- 1
Greatest Christianity Thing
Madea: "The answer's a flat-out 'no' and I am not changing my mind."
Brian: "Four thousand dollars a month..."
Madea: "I believe it would be the greatest Christianity thing I could do to help somebody in need..."
When Brian Simmons first approaches Madea about hiding the Needleman family, she's absolutely against it. What changes her mind? It's not the "Christianity thing," it's the cash...
- 3+ 17- 2
Spooning With Madea
Madea (to George): "If I come back up these stairs and you still in this bed I'm gonna get completely naked and get up in there with you and spoon."
George: "I'm up!"
Madea does NOT take kindly to sleeping in. George Needleman would be well served to remember that, otherwise he's gonna get spooned.
- 4+ 20- 3
If It's Brown, Pour It
Madea: "Flight attendant?"
Flight Attendant: "Yes ma'am?"
Madea: "I would like something to drink, please, because I need something to relax me just a little bit."
Flight Attendant: "Okay, what would you like?"
Madea: "That depends, how much is it?"
Stewardess: "Your in first class it's free."
Madea: "Okay, well bring me every damn thing you got back there. If it's brown, pour it."
Madea's journey to New York is first class, all the way, and she takes full advantage of it. She's definitely a fearful flyer, but alcohol might help. And free alcohol? Yeah, keep pouring...
- 5+ 21- 5
Hide Five White Folks
Madea: "I wanna know how the hell I'm suppose to hide five white folks. If the police come in this neighborhood they don't even come in a a white car, they send a black SUV!"
When Madea's nephew, Brian Simmons (Tyler Perry) informs her that the people she's agreed to hide are white, she's understandably not sure if they'll be incognito in her neighborhood.
- 6+ 12- 3
Uncle Joe (as Madea bends over): "Her butt must be hungry because it's chewing that dress alive."
Madea's brother, 'Uncle' Joe Simmons (Tyler Perry), might need to keep quiet about the size of Madea's posterior in that ginormous floral dress. Madea is in the kitchen and she has a lot of weapons nearby...
- 7+ 12- 4
Bell hop: "Your chocolate..." (presents a tray with chocolates)
Madea: "If that's a new way of saying 'black' I'm chocolate, yes, AfricaTamerican.'
Madea is definitely one of the most quotable characters in comedy movies, even if you can't always spell what she says.
- 8+ 6- 5
Road Map to Heaven
Madea (walks through metal detector at the airport, it goes off): "What the hell is that?"
TSA Agent: "Just gonna do a quick pat down..." (begins patting down Madea)
Madea: "You gonna find a road map to heaven -- you better come on from up there now, come on up!"
Madea heads to NYC and she's not familiar with the new airport screening procedures, including pat downs (and removing shoes, which she's wont to do because who'll get them back on her feet?).