Men in Black III Movie Quotes Films
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Men in Black III Movie Quotes

'Men in Black III' movie quotes represent the best lines from this third installment in the popular 'Men in Black' film franchise. 'Men in Black 3' is a 2012 sci-fi/comedy movie that reunites the original 'MIB' characters, including Agents J (Will Smith) and his partner, Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones). There is a catch: Much of 'Men in Black III' is set in the past, as J must travel back in time to try and save K (and the world, of course). This list includes some of the funniest quotes from 'MIB III,' so be sure to vote for your favorites. Also, if you know of a great 'Men in Black' quote that's missing, by all means, add it!

In 'Men in Black III,' it's up to Agent J to save the world from disaster. He has to go back to the 1960s to find a young Agent K (Josh Brolin) and protect him from the evil Boris (Jemaine Clement). 'MIB III' is directed by Barry Sonnenfeld, who directed the original 1997 'Men in Black' and the first sequel, 2002's 'Men in Black II.' Other cast members in 'MIB 3' include Emma Thompson (as the present-day Agent Oh), Alice Eve (as the young Agent Oh), Nicole Scherzinger as Lilly, Michale Stuhlbarg as Griffin and Bill Hader as Andy Warhol.

If you're looking for more excellent movie quotes, check out these pages for the most memorable lines from 'The Avengers,' 'The Dictator,' 'Dark Shadows,' 'Battleship,' 'What to Expect When You're Expecting,' 'The Five-Year Engagement,' 'American Reunion,' 'The Hunger Games,' 'The Three Stooges,' 'The Cabin in the Woods,' and 'The Raven.'

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    City Miles

    Agent J: "Hey man, hey, how old are you?"
    Young Agent K: "Twenty-nine."
    Agent J: "You got some city miles on you."

    Only Agent K could look 60 when he's not even 30 yet. It's all the stress -- he really needs to take up yoga or something.

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    Andy Warhol's One of Us?

    Andy Warhol: "Dammit K, trying to blow my cover?"
    Agent J: "Whoa, Andy Warhol's one of us?!"
    Andy Warhol (to Young Agent K): "Who's the dumbass?"
    Agent J: "You know, I'd have no problem pimp-slapping the shiznit out of Andy Warhol."

    Andy Warhol was MIB? This totally explains everything. Every. Thing. And props to casting Bill Hader as Warhol...

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    This is What Happens


    Agent J (to crowd): "Okay, you know how your kid won a goldfish in that little baggie from the school fair and you didn't want that nasty thing in your house so you flushed it down the toilet?" (big nasty alien fish gets carried off) "Well, this is what happens."

    If ever there was a need to use the neuralizer, this is it. This ginormous fish-alien-thing is far more menacing than that cute little goldfish you won at the fair...

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    We Need to Go, Right Now


    Young Agent K: "Last chance: Who are you and what do you know?"
    Agent J: "I'm an agent of Men in Black but I'm from the future. We're partners. 25 years from now you're gonna recruit me and 14 years after that the guy you didn't let me kill today at Coney Island, he escapes from prison and jumps back in the past and unleashes a full-scale invasion of Earth. We got about 19 hours to catch him and kill him so really, we need to go, right now."
    Young Agent K: "Alright."

    Agent J is (understandably) skeptical -- he's almost certain the Young Agent K (Josh Brolin, and wow was this a stellar casting decision) won't believe him. Surprisingly, he does -- but only after staring and scowling at J for a few good seconds.

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    Turn Your Cell Phone Off


    Agent J: "Ladies and gentlemen if you will, look right here." (Neuralizes the crowd) "Okay, you know how you're on an airplane and the flight attendant asks you to turn your cell phone off? And you're like 'I ain't turning by cell phone off, that don't have nothing to do with no damn airplane.' Well, this is what we get." (points to space junk/plane debris) "That's what happens, it gets up there and bounces around on the satellites and Blam! Just turn your damn cell phone off. Now you're gonna drive off a cliff tonight because your GPS don't work."

    Agent J's neuralizing scenes are always hilarious, and highly quotable. This is just one of many, and he's got a point about turning off the "damn cell phone."

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    Looking for K

    Agent J: "I'm looking for K, have you seen him? Sort of a surly, older gentleman, smiles like this..." (scowls)
    Agent Oh: "K has been dead for over 40 years."

    Uh oh, big trouble. K is dead? Yes, and it's up to Agent J to go back in time, to 1969, to try and stop his death. Otherwise, bad things will happen, like world destruction.

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    The Lie You Told Me

    Agent K: "There are things out there you don't need to know about."
    Agent J: "That's not the lie you told me when you recruited me!"

    Agent K, withholding information? Never! Yeah, Agent J never did get the whole story -- like the part about time travel totally being possible...

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    Agent J: "K?"
    Agent K: "How do you know my name?"

    Imagine J's surprise when he lands smack in the middle of the late-1960s-era MIB offices. Things look completely mod and very, very different. For one thing, Agent Oh is a secretary.

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    Really High


    Agent J: "You gotta send me back to 1969!"
    Alien: "First, we gotta get high."
    Agent J: "My man, for real!?"
    Alien: "No, I mean really high..."

    He definitely means really high, because in the next frame, we see the Chrysler Building. And Agent J has to jump from it to get back to 1969. And he has only 24 hours to fix everything -- otherwise, he'll be stuck there forever.

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    Space Gun


    Young Agent K: "Okay, future man, where to?"
    Agent J: "First of all, I'm gonna need my gun." (K hands J a pistol)
    Agent J: "No no no -- space gun!"

    One of the big drawbacks to going back in time to 1969: The weapons aren't nearly as cool...and they're much larger and more awkward.

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    Talking To the Wall


    Agent J: "Flaco, you know you're not supposed to be north of Canal Street."
    Hood: "Who's Flaco?" (graffiti beside him comes to life)
    Flaco: "Relax, punk. They're looking for me, not you!"
    Agent J: "Crazy, right? Two men talking to the wall, wall taking back? It's a mess. Hey, don't even worry about it."

    Ah, talking graffiti! Banksy can't even do that. Fortunately, this street thug won't remember seeing what he just saw, thanks to the neuralizer.

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    No Such Thing as Time Travel


    Agent Oh: "K's been involved in some sort of time travel."
    Agent J: "There's no such thing as time travel."
    Agent Oh: "Well, there is..."

    Ah, one more thing Agent J didn't know about (that K probably neglected to mention along the way). Agent Oh knows what's up, and it's all on J to set things right by going back to 1969 to keep Boris from killing K.

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