My Fantasy Football Team By Alex Sargeant [19 more lists]

My Fantasy Football team will destroy yours!

I can honestly say that I have never in my life sat through an entire football (American or European) game. That, like Starbuck from BSG, gives me a major advantage over the regular viewers of football.

On a side note: Fantasy Foot ball needs a twelve sided die.

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Rank Name

1

Kanye West – Financial Backer/Laserist

Every team needs a financial backer and Kanye is just the man for my team. Not only does he make phat beats, but he also makes phat decisions when it comes to investing.

My team will have everything they need in order to do their job. No expenses will be spared!

Like Jay-Z, Kanye is the only reason this team is anything!

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2

Gary Busey - Coach

No one can get a team more fired up and confused than Gary Busey can.

Gary Busey's resume:
Inspirational leader.
Shitty motorcycle rider.
Was in Point Break.

I don't think he needs to be anymore qualified than that.

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3

Bullseye - Quarterback

Unless Daredevil or The Punisher are on the other team, Bullseye is the world's best quarterback. He never misses (Unless you're Daredevil or The Punisher).

Do you hear me? HE NEVER MISSES! It's not possible. He'll get the ball exactly where he wants it EVERY time!

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4

Dhalsim - Kicker

Enough said.

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5

Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen - Running Backs

Smart people question authority. Dumb people on the other hand can be trained or programed, like robots. Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen are the Cylons of our team.

“Mary Kate has the ball. No, wait, Ashley has the ball? Wait. Oh no! Where’d they go?” There will be mass confusion from the other team.

Added bonus: If one dies, they're transferred to another body.

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6

Thor - Prayer Manager

While all the other teams are praying to one God, my team has the advantage of praying to many, thus upping our chances tenfold in case we need help. Which we won't. Ever.

Thor has it in with paps (Odin) and he's not afraid to ask for help every once in awhile.

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7

Michael Phelps - Rookie Wild Card

Honestly, just want to see him fail at a sport. Having Michael Phelps play football is truly worth the horrible puns I'm about to use. It's a fish out of water situation. It's time we see if he sinks or swims on the field. Let's hope he wasn't just a big fish in a little bowl. This sentence should have something relating to water and or swimming in it.

Side note: I would have put a picture of him with a shirt on but it seems that doesn't exist.

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8

Margaret Cho – Asian Parent Impressionist/fullback/Hulk Pisser Offer

Though she seems like an unusual choice for a football team, I can assure you, Margaret Cho has one of the biggest roles on the whole team.

Nothing pisses the Hulk and his family members off more than a 90's comic with a huge gay following.

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9

Mister Miyagi - Physical Therapist

Look at what he can do! Look at it! How can you not have him as your on-site physical therapist?

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10

Hulk’s Family - Linebackers

As long as Margaret Cho can keep them pissed, no one should be able to get through! Not even Ang Lee could ruin this!

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11

The Entire Cast of Chuck - Everything Else

Because I just found out there are twenty-two players on the field at any given time and I am not going to list twenty-two people here, and because they have to earn that third season dammit!

Now I defy you to beat my team! DEFY YOU! Do it, I dare you! Cross that rubicon, see what happens!

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Showing items 1 - 5 of 11

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My Fantasy Football Team at 3/22/2010 6:31 PM

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Alex Sargeant [List Creator]
My Fantasy Football Team at 1/16/2010 10:14 AM

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Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen - Running Backs at 1/31/2010 8:36 PM

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