Total Nerd 13 Crazy Things From Old Man Logan Comic That Definitely Won't Be In The Movie  

Stephan Roget
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One of the most hyped films of the jam-packed 2017 release schedule is Logan, the third and final solo film for Hugh Jackman’s version of Wolverine. While two amazing trailers have a lot to do with the buzz surrounding the movie, fans are also pumped that the plot will be inspired by one of Wolverine’s most treasured comic book adventures: Old Man Logan. A (formerly) out of continuity tale set in a dystopian future, Old Man Logan was originally a miniseries written by Mark Millar and drawn by Steve McNiven (an all-star creative team if there ever was one) and was released by Marvel in 2008.

Throughout the eight-issue series, an aged and grey-haired Logan made his way on an epic road trip through a dystopian Marvel universe. Along the way, the Canucklehead met some bizarre allies, terrifying villains, and enough tragedy and horror to make Shakespeare cringe. There are countless amazing aspects of Old Man Logan but, unfortunately for fans expecting a direct adaptation , the vast majority of them cannot or will not make the jump to the silver screen. This is mostly because Logan is a Fox film, and the rights to all the good stuff is owned by Marvel Studios.

1

A Family Of Hillbilly Hulks


A Family Of Hillbilly Hulks is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list 13 Crazy Things From Old Man Logan Comic That Definitely Won't Be In The Movie
Photo:  Marvel Comics

Logan faces many antagonists in Old Man Logan, but perhaps none are as disturbing as the Hulk family. These hillbilly descendants of Bruce Banner are the incestuous result of the Hulk banging his cousin, She-Hulk, and are representative of the worst aspects of the jade giant.

The Hulks act as pseudo-landlords to Wolverine, demanding payment for living in their territory, and their threats against his family act as the impetus for his quest. Unfortunately, the Hulk’s rights are owned by Marvel Studios, so nothing like this will appear in the movie.

2

President Red Skull


President Red Skull is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list 13 Crazy Things From Old Man Logan Comic That Definitely Won't Be In The Movie
Photo:  Marvel Comics

The climax of Old Man Logan features a trip to the new capital of the United States, a nation that has been completely conquered by villains. The new President of the United States, former Captain America rival Red Skull, rules with an iron fist (not that Iron Fist, though, he's probably dead).

An inevitable battle between Wolverine and Red Skull ensues, but unfortunately it won’t be seen in 2017’s Logan. Not only are Red Skull’s rights held by Marvel Studios, he also hasn’t appeared since Phase One, as he was blasted away by the Tesseract. But seriously, how cool would it have been to see Hugh Jackman and Hugo Weaving throw down? 

3

The New Map Of The USA


The New Map Of The USA is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list 13 Crazy Things From Old Man Logan Comic That Definitely Won't Be In The Movie
Photo:  Marvel Comics

One of the coolest features of the road trip Wolverine takes across the future America in Old Man Logan is the updated  map that guides him along the way. Readers get a glimpse of the map, which is full of tantalizing clues and potential settings. Sadly, this map is also full of mentions of characters that Fox does not own the rights to, like the Kingpin, the Kree, and Norman Osborn. Some of the mentioned names, like Doctor Doom and Magneto, could conceivably appear, but it's likely the idea will be scrapped altogether. 

4

A Symbiote T-Rex


A Symbiote T-Rex is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list 13 Crazy Things From Old Man Logan Comic That Definitely Won't Be In The Movie
Photo:  Marvel Comics

Perhaps the most iconic and memorable visual from Old Man Logan is a symbiote-enhanced tyrannosaurus rex chasing down Wolverine’s jeep. Because, come on, that's one of the most awesome sentences ever written. It seems that not only were some carnivorous dinosaurs transported from the Savage Land to America at some point in the past, but also that Venom’s symbiote became attached to one, too.

This spectacular moment would look great on a theater screen, but the rights to the symbiote are tied to Spider-Man, whose rights in turn are now back at Marvel Studios. Regular T-Rexes could still appear, theoretically, but it’s just not the same.