tech 20 Online Urban Legends that Make You Want to Cut the Cord  

Jacob Shelton
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What is it about weird online legends that make you want to throw your phone across the room and shut off your computer for a week? Some online urban legends definitely fill the void left by classic ghost stories and myths from the pre-internet era, but the urban legends about the internet that are truly unsettling are the ones that hold a kernel of truth, or speak to something specific inside us about the way we interact with technology. This list looks at some of the spookiest online urban legends and tries to figure out what it is about them that freaks us out.

The urban legends and online myths covered here are a far cry from Slender Man and his creepypasta creepy brethren. It’s not that Slender Man and his ilk aren’t scary, they’ve just been written about to death. Most of the stories on here blur the line between fiction and reality, and some of them just might be real. Keep reading to find out which online urban legends are waiting for you on the internet. 

The Kanye West Cult Recruitment RPG

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Video: YouTube

What would you say about a video game that's trying to recruit you into a cult? What if that game was the Kanye West RPG about fighting cloned rappers? According to an anonymous poster on Pastebin, by inputting the keyword  "Ascend" at various times in the game, you're transported to a special area, where you receive the message, "Congratulations! You have proven yourself to be an open-minded and curious thinker. We must apologise for deceiving you, but we can reveal that the game you were playing until this point was a ‘front’ constructed to protect what you are currently accessing."

After more unnecessary gobbledygook, you're given the option of submitting your address to the creators of the game, who promise to "interact with you and your possessions in several ways" over a two week time period. A writer at Kotaku checked this rumor out and everything seems legit. The game may or may not be a recruitment tool for Ascensionism, a New Age cult. 

WTF Is Up with "Dafu Love"?

WTF Is Up with "Dafu Love&... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list 20 Online Urban Legends that Make You Want to Cut the Cord
Photo:  InspiredImages/Pixabay/CC0 1.0

Urban legends in the modern era tend to take on the concept of someone seeing something that they shouldn't have and relaying that information to you, thus implicating you in the horrible thing that they witnessed. Dafu Love is that concept to the nth degree.

Allegedly, Dafu Love is a video features an Australian man (Peter Scully) living in the Philippines, who, along with a group of nightmarish people, tortures babies to death with an increasingly severe list of implements. It's likely Dafu Love isn't real, but Peter Scully is, and he's in prison in the Philippines awaiting trial for rape and human trafficking and he's under investigation for kidnapping and murdering children.

Dead Girlfriends Love Facebook

Dead Girlfriends Love Facebook is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list 20 Online Urban Legends that Make You Want to Cut the Cord
Photo:  Paramount Pictures

This dead girlfriend legend is essentially a modern version of a ghostly ex-lover haunting their sweetie from beyond the grave, with a pinch of identity theft added for good measure. Basically, a year after a guy's girlfriend dies, she starts sending him messages on Facebook, and when he responds, things get spooky. "She" starts tagging herself in solo photos of him, in places she would have been had she lived. Her messages begin to recycle his words in an almost Lynchian way. It's an exploration on the nature of co-dependent relationships, and tells a modern ghost story. 

The Ewok Sex Dungeon

The Ewok Sex Dungeon is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list 20 Online Urban Legends that Make You Want to Cut the Cord
Photo:  20th Century Fox

This strange urban legend from Reddit gives a whole new meaning to the words "Yub Nub." In 2014, a Reddit user writing under the handle JaimeMargary posted about a trip through an "abandoned house next door" that featured two life size ewok suits that had the crotches cut out in a deliberate fashion. Whether the story is real or not, those two suits definitely exist.