- 1+ 15- 10
Water Park Patron (to David Hasselhoff): "People are dying! Do something!"
David Hasselhoff: "First of all, I'm not a lifeguard. Never was. Secondly, that was what natural selection's all about."
The Hoff makes a guest appearance in 'Piranha 3DD,' but never, ever ask him to rescue you from the water. Especially if there's a group of blood thirsty, prehistoric fish attacking the patrons.
- 2+ 6- 4
Maddy: "Tell me you did not replace our old lifeguards with strippers!"
Chet: "Water certified strippers."
Strippers as lifeguards? Yep, sounds about right. Because really, that's exactly what a family-friendly water park needs! At least they've had proper training...
- 3+ 3- 1
Bring the Legsv
Deputy Fallon: "Bring me my legs."
Poor Deputy Fallon: He lost his legs in the first 'Piranha' movie, now he's trying to chill in the new water park and get over his fears of the water. That's not going to happen. The piranha are attacking, again. Time to strap on the leg guns!
- 4+ 4- 3
In the Water!
Water Park Patron: "There's something in the water!!!"
Well, that's kind of an understatement, isn't it? How did the piranha get into The Big Wet Water Park, anyway? And how can you get rid of them? What this town needs is a sheriff's deputy with guns for legs. Oh. Wait...
- 5+ 4- 4
Carl Goodman: "These piranha spent eons in underground lakes and rivers. So, the fish could become confused, and try to enter man made drainage systems."
So that's how the deadly chompers got into the water park! The drainage systems, of course. That makes sense. Now the question becomes: How do you "unconfuse" the piranha?
- 6+ 1- 1
I Got Bit
Little Boy at Water Park: "Mommy I got bit. It was a piranhas..."
Mom: "It was not a piranha!"
Hey Mommy, guess what? You should listen to your kid, although if a piranha actually did bite him, he wouldn't be standing there telling you about it...
- 7+ 1- 1
I Don't Like It
Shelby (laughing in the water with Josh): "Is that you? Ow!!!"
Josh: "I didn't..."
Shelby: "Whatever it is, I don't like it!"
What self-respecting comedy horror movie would be complete without two horny teens being eviscerated by deadly prehistoric fish? And also? Just stay out of the WATER. Sheesh.
- 8+ 1- 2
Carl Goodman: "These piranha...they're evolving!"
As if this down didn't already have enough to deal with -- now they've got to fight piranha that are "evolving" (see: 'Piranha 3DD, the Sequel,' coming soon). Ancient blood thirsty fish are bad enough. Smart, ancient, blood thirsty fish? Recipe for disaster.
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