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Proof Science Hates The Tyrannosaurus Rex By Alex Sargeant [19 more lists]
Every so often Science comes out with “facts” that make the T-Rex look like more of a complete wuss than last time Science came out with “facts” that made the King of the Dinosaurs look like a complete wuss.
Here’s a few ways Science has made the T-Rex look like a complete wuss.
- 1
Hunched Widow
Once thought to stand tall like a proud Native American who only cries when someone liters on the side of a freeway, the T-Rex took it’s first major blow when Scientists discovered that he in fact, stood and walked hunched over like a Russian Widow. -
- 2
Scavenger
Scientists used to think the T-Rex was just a giant hedonist running around eating any and every dinosaur just because he could. Then it was discovered that the T-Rex was the homeless man of the dinosaur world, running around scrounging for his next meal. A fucking scavenger!!!! - 3
Fallen and Can’t Get Up
As if his stupid tiny little arms weren’t emasculating enough (The only thing they’re good for is pushing around a giant shopping cart), Science soon realized that he was far too heavy and his dumb arms far too weak to be able to lift himself up if he ever fell down. If he trips on a tree stump… dead! If only the T-Rex had Life-Alert. -
- 4
Descendant of Midgets
Just a few weeks ago Scientists revealed the oldest known relative of the T-Rex... it was human-sized! The T-Rex was my size! That’s not cool! I’m not cool! Stop disappointing me T-Rex! Stop it! - 5
Lame Death
It’s now believed that the T-Rex may have died off because of a common throat disease! A THROAT DISEASE!!! Come on! Mono killed the T-Rex! The Kissing Disease Killed the T-Rex! A disease any goth teenager can live through and it killed off the T-Rex!
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