- 1+ 11- 2
It's Her Brother
Ben: "To say that I'm crazy about you doesn't do my feelings any justice. I adore you. I'm devoted to you. You would make me the luckiest man on the planet if you would be my wife."
Lunch lady: "Meh"
Ben: "What does that mean?"
Lunch lady: "You get her father's blessing yet?"
Ben: "No, it's not her father. It's her brother."
[Ben sees a white male atop a table]
Ben: "Hey, get down, boy! You got two seconds before I get involved. You're white! You're white! You don't fight!"
Before proposing to girlfriend, Angela, Ben practices his speech for a lunch lady where Ben works as a security guard. The lunch lady points out one important step that he hasn't taken yet: asking for the blessing.
- 2+ 8- 1
Ben: "You want the hammer? Then go get the hammer!"
James: "Okay, enough of that nasty!"
[Ben screams, crashes into a table and passes out]
Angela: "Now don't screw this up for me! I love him!"
Ben: [waking up] "Hey"
James: "Oh, damn, it's Sir Scream-A-Lot!"
Ben: "I was responding to a hostile situation, James."
James: "That was a high-pitched scream."
Ben: "James, you know what? You…" [turns away and whispers to Angela] "Is he still staring? Make him stop."
Ben thinks he is about to get lucky with girlfriend Angela but they are interrupted by her brother James. Ben tries to play all tough but that doesn't last long.
- 3+ 4- 0
He Shot Me!
James: "Now you tell me what I need to know!"
Jay: "I ain't telling you nothing!"
Ben: "Tell me where the body is!" [accidentally shoots Jay]
Jay: "He shot me!"
James: "Yeah, he shot your ass!"
Ben: "You're damn right I shot your ass!"
It doesn't take long to prove that the decision to give Ben a gun was not a wise one. He shoots Jay accidentally but thankfully for Ben, James plays along as if it was done intentionally. Jay is not amused either way.
- 4+ 4- 1
Ben: "I'm a shotgun specialist!"
Man at Shooting Range: "Be careful with that. It's got magnum loads in it."
Ben: "Oh yeah!" [yelling] "You better get on the ground!"
[Ben shoots the shotgun, sending him across the room from the kickback]
Ben: MY stomach and my ass!"
James: "Oh yeah, you're ready for the streets!"
Ben wants to think that he can handle himself behind a massive shotgun but as he shows when the kickback sends him across the room, he's clearly outgunned in this situation.
- 5+ 1- 0
Show Me That You're Worthy
Ben: "James, I wanted your blessing in asking your sister to marry me."
James: "Show me that you're worthy of her."
Ben: "How am I supposed to do that?"
James: "I'mma take you on a ride along."
Ben: "Hell yeah!"
Ben gets serious for a minute when asking James if he can propose to James's sister Angela. James needs to know Ben is man enough first and has the perfect idea on how to determine that: a ride along.
- 6+ 1- 0
What Up, Little Man?
Little Boy: "What's up, little man?"
Ben: "What you, about 3'11"?"
Little Boy: "Yeah but you know what I'mma do. Grow! What you gonna do? Stretch?"
Ben may be older but as this little kid proves, he doesn't really have the height to be anything close to intimidating. Poor guy, even little kids make fun of him.
L The List