Rum Diary Movie Quotes By Movie and TV Quotes [174 more lists]

'The Rum Diary' movie quotes include numerous lines from Hunter S. Thompson's classic novel, adapted for the big screen in 2011. Not surprisingly, Johnny Depp, as freelance writer Paul Kemp, utters some of the best quotes in the 'Rum Diary' film. This list includes some of the most memorable quotes from 'The Rum Diary,' so be sure to vote up your personal favorites. If you see a quote that's missing, definitely add it!

Writer Paul Kemp's decision to take a job at a Puerto Rican newspaper in the late-1950s proves fateful, as he's drawn into a seedy world filled with greedy American entrepreneurs who are eager to make big money from the island's abundant, undeveloped land. 'The Rum Diary' movie is directed by Bruce Robinson and also stars Giovanni Ribisi, Amber Heard, Michael Rispoli and Aaron Eckhart.

'The Rum Diary' grossed just over $13 million in the weeks after it's theatrical release on October 28, 2011. 'The Rum Diary' DVD was expected to be released on February 14, 2012.

For more great lists of blockbuster movie quotes, check out these lists for the best lines from 'The Ides of March,' '50/50,' 'The Muppets,' 'Hugo,' 'Arthur Christmas,' 'Jack and Jill,' 'Happy Feet Two,' 'Tower Heist,' 'Moneyball,' 'Contagion' and 'Red State.'

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Drinking

Lotterman: "How much do you drink?"
Paul Kemp: "The upper end of social."

As in, more than 150 hotel miniatures. Way more.
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Human Beings

Paul Kemp: "Human beings are the only creatures on Earth that claim a God, and the only living things that behave like they haven't got one."
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Ink and Rage

Paul Kemp: "I want to make a promise to you, the reader. And I don't know if I can fulfill it tomorrow, or even the day after that. But I put the bastards of this world on notice that I do not have their best interests at heart. I will try and speak for my reader. That is my promise. And it will be a voice made of ink and rage."

Kemp has had enough. He's determined to expose the greedy Americans looking for profit in Puerto Rico. In between drinks, of course.
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It's All True

Paul Kemp: "Puerto Rico. I came down here looking for a story, but if found the strangest paradise on Earth. It's where your secrets come to dance and the voodoo works it's magic. And if the drinking doesn't get you into trouble, the women definitely will. All of this may sound like some crazed hallucination, but it's all true - I think."

Is it true? If so, it's definitely crazed.
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Mermaid from Connecticut

Paul Kemp: "I thought maybe you were a mermaid."
Chenault: "I'm from Connecticut. My boyfriend's making a speech. It takes exactly 21 minutes."
Paul Kemp: "Well then I guess it's pointless me inviting you for a drink."
Chenault: "What you got?"
Paul Kemp: "I mean at the bar."
Chenault: "Pointless. I'd better go before they wonder where I went."
Paul Kemp: "Wait a minute, what's your name?"
Chenault: "Let's keep that a secret."
Paul Kemp: "I don't even know it."
Chenault: "Well then you'll keep it even better."
Paul Kemp: "Well your star sign! I'm an experienced astronomer."
Chenault: "Try Pisces, the fish."
Paul Kemp: "Oh God, why did she have to happen? Just when I was doing so good without her..."

Yes, it's probably not good that Chenault had to happen. Especially since she's Sanderson's fiance.
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Not Complimentary?

Lotterman: "How does anybody drink 161 miniatures?"
Paul Kemp: "Are they not complimentary?"

161 miniatures. That explains the hallucinations. That, and some other...things. This is based on a Hunter S. Thompson novel, after all.
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Drink Some Rum!

Sala: "You're high you fool, drink some rum!"
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Price of Everything

Paul Kemp: "Oscar Wilde once said, 'Nowadays, people know the price of everything, and the value of nothing."
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Your Tongue Belongs to Satan

Paul Kemp: "Jesus, your tongue is like an accusatory giblet! For christsakes keep it out."
Sala: "What are you talking about?"
Paul Kemp: "Your tongue belongs to Satan!"
Sala: "Are you out of your mind?!"

This is a good example of the aforementioned crazed hallucinations.
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Sweet Beauty

Mr. Zimberger: "She's a sweet little beauty."
Paul Kemp: "I was...looking at his boat."
Mrs. Zimberger: "We've all been been down on her, it's a wonderful experience."

More classic wit from this 'Rum Diary' movie. Can't believe it's finally hitting theaters...
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A Slow, Painful Death

Moburg (to Lotterman): "Why don't you go die a slow and agonizingly painful death?"
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The Truth

Paul Kemp: "How the hell did I get here? I could blame the job, the booze - but the truth is even more outrageous."

And also? Blame the girl. And probably the illicit drug use.
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13

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God's Money

Paul Kemp: "No one told me it was so pretty here."
Sanderson: "God's idea of money. You know what makes this place a gold mine? Something that doesn't exist."
Paul Kemp: "How's that?"
Sanderson: "Land. There isn't enough of it. Those who know how to get it, get the gold."

Sanderson wants Kemp to write a nice fluffy story about his business doings in Puerto Rico, but he's going to be quite unhappy with the results.
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I Have Binoculars

Sala: "Hey, you made it!"
Paul Kemp: "I thought you said you had a TV."
Sala: "The guy across the alley has a TV - I have binoculars."

Michael Rispoli makes a perfect Sala, delivering his funny lines with ease.
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Nail Him

Paul Kemp: "We'll nail this bastard to his own front door!"

Paul is bound and determined to get Sanderson, no matter what. He'd better be careful. And drink more rum.
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