Total Nerd The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter  

Tamar Altebarmakian
3.7k votes 434 voters 3.9k views 24 items Embed

List Rules Vote up the comebacks that slay like a killing curse.

An abundance of funny comebacks in Harry Potter exist throughout the franchise, some as injurious as an Unforgivable Curse. In addition to his habit of sacrificing himself for the greater good, one of Harry’s most endearing qualities is his unparalleled skill as a sassmaster, a trait shared by many other characters in the Hogwarts universe. From Snape to Dudley to the Weasley twins, no wizard or muggle felt safe from savage Harry Potter comebacks. In fact, Harry Potter comeback quotes are widely prevalent in the wizarding world, with Ron, Hermione, and the brilliantly brutal Professor McGonagall delivering scorching burns even Madame Pomfrey can't soothe.

While some of these Harry Potter comeback quotes only appeared in the films, most can be found in the books, where author J.K. Rowling unleashes the full extent of her burn prowess. Thanks to her expertise, funny Harry Potter quotes shine brightly alongside the best quotes in the Harry Potter seriesTake your cues from this hilarious series, and utilize these savage Harry Potter comebacks to shut down the Dursleys in your life. There's a new troll in the dungeon, and his name is Harry Potter.

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There's No Need To Call Me... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
There's No Need To Call Me 'Sir,' Professor. Harry Potter

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I'm Sorry, Professor, But ... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
I'm Sorry, Professor, But I Must Not Tell Lies. Harry Potter

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Mr. Moony Presents His Complim... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
Mr. Moony Presents His Compliments To Professor Snape, And Begs Him To Keep His Abnormally Large Nose Out Of Other People's Business. The Marauder's Map

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Wow, I Wonder What It'd Be... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
Wow, I Wonder What It'd Be Like To Have A Difficult Life? Harry Potter

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Just Because It's Taken Yo... is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
Just Because It's Taken You Three Years To Notice, Ron, Doesn't Mean No One Else Has Spotted That I'm A Girl! Hermione Granger

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Yes, It Is Easy To See That Ne... is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
Yes, It Is Easy To See That Nearly Six Years Of Magical Education Have Not Been Wasted On You, Potter. Ghosts Are Transparent. Severus Snape

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Yeah, Quirrell Was A Great Tea... is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
Yeah, Quirrell Was A Great Teacher. There Was Just That Minor Drawback Of Him Having Lord Voldemort Sticking Out Of The Back Of His Head. Harry Potter

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He Can Move Faster Than Severu... is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
He Can Move Faster Than Severus Snape Confronted With Shampoo. Fred Weasley

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Perhaps It Would Be More Usefu... is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
Perhaps It Would Be More Useful If I Were To Transfigure Mr. Potter Or Yourself Into A Pocket Watch? That Way One Of You Might Be On Time. Minerva McGonagall

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Just Because You've Got Th... is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
Just Because You've Got The Emotional Range Of A Teaspoon.... Hermione Granger

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You See, I Do Not Generally Pe... is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
You See, I Do Not Generally Permit People To Talk When I Am Talking. Minvera McGonagall

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Yeah, You Can Have A Word. Goo... is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
Yeah, You Can Have A Word. Good-bye. Harry Potter

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Pity You Can't Attach An E... is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
Pity You Can't Attach An Extra Arm To Yours, Malfoy. Then It Could Catch The Snitch For You. Harry Potter

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Great, Tell Me When You've... is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
Great, Tell Me When You've Defeated Voldemort For Me, Will You? Harry Potter

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The Poor Toilet's Never Ha... is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
The Poor Toilet's Never Had Anything As Horrible As Your Head Down It — It Might Be Sick. Harry potter

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The Best Kiss He's Ever Gotten... is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
The Best Kiss He's Ever Gotten Is From Our Auntie Murial! Ginny Weasley

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This Is Night, Diddykins. That... is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
This Is Night, Diddykins. That’s What We Call It When It Goes All Dark Like This. Harry Potter

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Kill Us Faster? Oh, Now I Can ... is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
Kill Us Faster? Oh, Now I Can Relax! Ron Weasley

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Yeah, But You, Unlike Me, Are ... is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
Yeah, But You, Unlike Me, Are A Git, So Get Out And Leave Us Alone Harry Potter

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So You've Finally Learned ... is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
So You've Finally Learned The Days Of The Week. Harry Potter

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Did You Think We Were Going To... is listed (or ranked) 21 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
Did You Think We Were Going To Be Staying In A Five-Star Hotel? Finding A Horcrux Every Other Day? Harry Potter

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You Need Your Inner Eye tested... is listed (or ranked) 22 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
You Need Your Inner Eye tested, If You Ask Me… Hermione Granger

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Ah, Shut Up, Dursley, Yeh Grea... is listed (or ranked) 23 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
Ah, Shut Up, Dursley, Yeh Great Prune. Rubeus Hagrid

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So Why Not Have A Go? They Mig... is listed (or ranked) 24 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
So Why Not Have A Go? They Might Be Able To Find You A Double Cell In Azkaban For Your Loser Of A Husband! Harry Potter