So you fancy yourself a bit of a sexpert, do you? You’ve been around the block and back again, contorting yourself into pornographic pretzels and exploring the uncharted reaches of raunchy at some pretty wild parties. Well amigo, it’s time to take your show on the road and visit 5 of the sexiest parties in the world!
There no rules at Burning Man. There is no commerce, there are no cell phone towers, and oftentimes, there are no clothes. Burning Man is an annual festival held in the middle of the Nevada desert. It is somehow an experiment in community, expression, and art, but what that really means is that it’s a week-long free for all full of naked, painted bodies, wild all-night parties, and hippie hedonism to the max. There are drugs and there are drinks and there is lots of sex, to be sure, but the real idea is to let your inner wild-child be free to frolic through the desert with 40,000 of your new closest friends, many of them nude or nearly there or wearing some wild costume (and you should be too). So get wild! Dress like a butterfly and get down with a painted hippie or hang out in the Bordello of Dust and peep in the windows of Amsterdam Alley for a bit of sleazy burlesque. Whatever you end up doing, you’re sure to have a sexy and unforgettable time!
Exotic Erotic Ball
San Francisco, CA
The venue for this party is called The Cow Palace, but don’t let that fool you! Once a year, Perry Mann’s Exotic Erotic Ball turns this former livestock pavilion into one of the sexiest places on the planet. The party starts with a sexpo (thats a sex industry expo, for those of you not in the loop) where you can find out a bout the latest advances in sex doll technology or just a butt-plug shaped like the Virgin Mary – seriously. Think if it as Kmart for degenerates, and yes – it’s as awesome as it sounds. The after party is the Exotic Erotic Ball itself, and things can get pretty wild. Expect weird and wild costumes, a human petting zoo, body-paint bikinis, fantasy and fetish rooms, and thousands of guests. The Exotic Erotic Ball is like a mixed cocktail made from the hottest ingredients on the planet. Just add two parts masquerade, one part fetish party, one part burlesque, and a dash of rock and roll. Shake well, garnish with your favorite d***o and serve hot to 20,000 guests. Enjoy!
Brazil is sexy, there’s no doubt about that. The whole country just oozes sensuality and lust. There are the beaches, the music, the tanned, bikini-clad bodies, and the obsession with big round butts and uber-sexy dancing. And leave it to Brazilians to up the ante with a week-long celebration of decadence and extravagant, fantastically costumed lust. If you’re going to go to Brazil, and you’re looking for a taste of that sultry Brazilian style, Carnaval will blow your freakin' mind!
In Rio de Janeiro and Salvador Bahia (two of the hottest hotspots for Carnaval) the streets completely packed with bronzed bodies, wearing little more than Brazilian-style bikinis, and bright, feathered headdresses. participants whirl around in outlandish costumes, whipped into a ferverous frenzy by the samba-reggae rhythms. This is one party you don’t want to miss!
Hedonism is a state of mind, a wild and lustful way of life – it’s also a clothing-optional resort in Jamaica where wild and lustful are just the beginning. This all inclusive resort offers everything you need to forget about your real, work-a-day world back home and let your fantasies and carnal desires run wild. Start your day with a skinny dip in the crystal-clear waters of the Caribbean, then maybe a game of nude beach volleyball or a nude cruise, complete with a bit of strip-snorkeling . Once the sun goes down, things get even wilder, with sensuous cuisine and multiple bars for mingling, flirting, and hopefully making good use of the multi-headed showers or your in-room Jacuzzi. This place is a legendary getaway for swinging couples, so don’t be surprised if you get invited to an orgy or two.
You’d expect a festival founded on love, peace, and togetherness to be full of hippies celebrating the wonders of patchouli and power crystals. But in reality, Germany’s Love Parade is full of sexy exhibitionists celebrating decadence and skimpy outfits – not to mention their love of electronic music and ecstasy. Not that any of this should bother you, in fact, you should be booking your ticket right now. The number of participants has varied wildly in the last few years, partially due to legal issues and commercial sponsorship, turning some people off of the event. Either way, the throbbing multitude of costumed partiers and the rumble of Europe’s top house DJs should keep the love alive. There are drugs and there is public sex and there are naked crazy people and there are non-stop afterparties in cavernous warehouses. This is the epitome of the Euro-rave scene and if you can’t get laid here, there’s probably no hope for you.
Tip: Ask if the wants to see your Breifmarkensamlung.
Justin Jones is a lifeaholic gypsy travel writer.