Shit My Dad Says (@s***mydadsays) Anything

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Shit My Dad Says (@s***mydadsays)

BestofTwitter BestofTwitter 148,708 views 42 items
This is a list of the best tweets by @s**tmydadsays (http://www.twitter.com/s**tmydadsays) aka Justin. He's got over 1 million followers, making him a Twitter celebrity and definitely worthy of the Best of Twitter title.

About The Best of Twitter: My mission is to identify the people you should follow on twitter, point out the people you should be tweeting to and twittering with, show you how to tweet and celebrate the glory that is the twitter tweet.

Here's Justin's Twitter bio: I'm 28. I live with my 73-year-old dad. He is awesome. I just write down s**t that he says.
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  1. 6

    They're offended? Fuck, shit, asshole...

    "They're offended? F**k, s**t, a*****e, s**tf**k; they're just words...Fine. S**tf**k isn't a word, but you get my point."
  2. 7

    You seen my cell phone?...

    "You seen my cell phone?...What’s it look like? Like two horses f**king. It’s a phone, son. It looks like a phone."
  3. 8

    Stop trying so hard...

    "Stop trying so hard. He doesn't like you. Jesus, don't kiss an ass if it's in the process of s**tting on you."
  4. 9

    Your mom just ordered 35 copies of your book...

    "Your mom just ordered 35 copies of your book. I'm not paying for one. F**king. Copy. Mine's free." http://s**tmydadsays.com/book
  5. 10

    War hero? No....

    "War hero? No. I was a doc in Vietnam. My job was to say "This is what happens when you screw a hooker, kid. Put this cream on your pecker."

items 6 - 10 of 42

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  1. Frida Sabedra
    Shit My Dad Says (@s***mydadsays) at 10/03/2012 5:30 PM
    awesome shit my dad says, my friend
  2. killermike2178
    Stop trying so hard... at 10/10/2011 12:57 PM
    @SheenaCody Especially Obama, when it comes to compromising with the Republicans, that are gonna throw him under the bus, anyways.
  3. killermike2178
    Stop trying so hard... at 10/10/2011 12:56 PM
    [User deleted their comment]
  4. Dokemion
    Shit My Dad Says (@s***mydadsays) at 6/04/2011 8:44 AM
    it's good to see this information in your post, i was looking the same but there was not any proper resource, thanx now i have the link which i was looking for my research.



    http://www.extremehealthusa.com/
  5. SheenaCody
    No, I'm not a pessimist at 11/26/2010 1:58 PM
    thats the truth
  6. SheenaCody
    Stop trying so hard... at 11/26/2010 1:55 PM
    thats some advise that we all could listen to
  7. Anonymous
    No. Humans will die out. We're weak... at 7/15/2010 6:34 AM
    [User deleted their comment]
    1. Anonymous
      No. Humans will die out. We're weak... at 7/15/2010 6:35 AM
      [User deleted their comment]
  8. Anonymous
    No. Humans will die out. We're weak... at 7/15/2010 6:31 AM
    [User deleted their comment]
  9. Anonymous
    Don't mess with him... at 7/13/2010 2:58 AM
    [User deleted their comment]
  10. Anonymous
    A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid... at 4/26/2010 3:42 AM
    oh boy a lot of people are in trouble then...but not me :)
  11. Johnny Two Seeds
    Shit My Dad Says (@s***mydadsays) at 4/08/2010 3:17 PM
    My dad says, upon looking at some weirdo emo chick: "If you can't tell if it's male or female, it doesn't matter."
    1. Sam Spoom
      Shit My Dad Says (@s***mydadsays) at 4/08/2010 3:45 PM
      You dad is a f*g.
  12. Lisa
    Shit My Dad Says (@s***mydadsays) at 3/19/2010 6:37 PM
    I have 3 kids. 1 is 8 2 are twins at 2. I want them more than anything. All they want is their frickin daddy. Breaks my heart. I'm hear for them, he isn't. But why do they just wnat his fricken ass. Give me a break. Bettter off leaving him now than later. I will always be there for him. sheez. Got my issues, but he things smokng the pot is not anything, pleeesasageee.. Good luck.
    1. George
      Shit My Dad Says (@s***mydadsays) at 4/08/2010 3:15 PM
      He probably left you because you can't spell for s**t.
  13. Anonymous
    A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid... at 2/24/2010 8:21 AM
    Yes, that is true——the saying and your comment, and that's sad, I know...
  14. Clark Benson
    Shit My Dad Says (@s***mydadsays) at 2/22/2010 11:18 PM
    William Shatner - s**t my dad says casting choice for an upcoming movie. Not kidding.
  15. nick g.
    Shit My Dad Says (@s***mydadsays) at 2/22/2010 4:55 PM
    my dad said to me once when I had a big solution to a small problem, "Son, don't worry about the mule, just load the wagon". In other words, "shut the f**k up and hand me that hammer"!
  16. Anonymous
    Shit My Dad Says (@s***mydadsays) at 1/22/2010 7:47 PM
    My dad says it's not right to cultive on his upper lip what grows wild around his a*****e

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