VOTE The Best Slang Terms for Penis  

9.7k votes 581 voters 19k views 53 items Follow Embed

List Rules Vote for your favorite nickname or add your own.

Although many may refer to the dog as man’s best friend, we know deep down that four legged fur balls will always come in a distant second. The truth is that ever since the dawn of man, guys have been thrilled to discover that they own a penis. So perhaps it’s no surprise that over the years, countless penises have been celebrated with nicknames, euphemisms, and other honors. Here we’ve decided to assemble a collection of names for dicks, euphemisms for penises, and slang for shlongs.

As you’ll see below, we kicked off the collection with some classics, but the fun doesn’t stop there. You see, this initial slang for dick is merely an attempt to get the ball rolling (bad pun totally intended), as we invite you to add some of your own favorite other names for penis. You see, we realize that penis euphemisms have enjoyed a long and vibrant history, and we dare not assume that we are capable of chronicling it alone.

Though this list is not for kids or conservatives, we invite those who’d like to celebrate the cock’s many aliases to come on in and share the best ones you’ve heard. Together we can assemble a collection nicknames for penis, the likes of which the world has never seen.
list ordered by

1
+ - 202 61
Dick is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Dick

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2
+ - 212 69
Cock is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Cock

3
+ - 166 95
Shlong is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Shlong

4
+ - 150 88
Boner is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Boner

5
+ - 148 87
Package is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Package

6
+ - 142 101
Pecker is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Pecker

7
+ - 137 109
Weiner is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Weiner

8
+ - 133 112
The D is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
The D

9
+ - 133 130
Trouser Snake is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Trouser Snake

10
+ - 121 120
One Eyed Monster is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
One Eyed Monster

11
+ - 108 105
Joy Stick is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Joy Stick

12
+ - 107 110
Wang is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Wang

13
+ - 104 109
Shaft is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Shaft

14
+ - 103 112
Dingaling is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Dingaling

15
+ - 106 117
Johnson is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Johnson

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16
+ - 97 107
Willie is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Willie

17
+ - 96 122
Baby Maker is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Baby Maker

18
+ - 103 134
Pocket Rocket is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Pocket Rocket

19
+ - 58 63
Disco Stick is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Disco Stick

20
+ - 91 117
Anaconda is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Anaconda

21
+ - 87 127
Rod is listed (or ranked) 21 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Rod

22
+ - 83 126
Tool is listed (or ranked) 22 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Tool

23
+ - 85 131
(Insert Guy's Name) Jr. is listed (or ranked) 23 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
(Insert Guy's Name) Jr.

24
+ - 73 117
Ding Dong is listed (or ranked) 24 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Ding Dong

25
+ - 37 55
Breakfast in Bed is listed (or ranked) 25 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis

26
+ - 60 100
Wanker is listed (or ranked) 26 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Wanker

27
+ - 67 118
Dong is listed (or ranked) 27 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Dong

28
+ - 57 100
Mr. Happy is listed (or ranked) 28 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Mr. Happy

29
+ - 63 114
Prick is listed (or ranked) 29 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Prick

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30
+ - 56 107
Long Dong Silver is listed (or ranked) 30 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Long Dong Silver

31
+ - 60 116
Member is listed (or ranked) 31 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Member

32
+ - 49 95
Jackhammer is listed (or ranked) 32 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Jackhammer

33
+ - 51 104
Dip Stick is listed (or ranked) 33 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Dip Stick

34
+ - 56 116
Bologna Pony is listed (or ranked) 34 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Bologna Pony

35
+ - 47 103
Unit is listed (or ranked) 35 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Unit

36
+ - 51 113
One Eyed Wonder Worm is listed (or ranked) 36 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
One Eyed Wonder Worm

37
+ - 45 102
Snake is listed (or ranked) 37 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Snake

38
+ - 47 114
Purplethrobbingheatseekingmois... is listed (or ranked) 38 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Purplethrobbingheatseekingmoisturemissle

39
+ - 42 108
Pickle is listed (or ranked) 39 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Pickle

40
+ - 35 100
Hot Salami is listed (or ranked) 40 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Hot Salami

41
+ - 37 109
Gherkin is listed (or ranked) 41 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Gherkin

42
+ - 33 102
Jimmy is listed (or ranked) 42 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Jimmy

43
+ - 34 106
Lady Killer is listed (or ranked) 43 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Lady Killer

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44
+ - 38 118
The Colonel is listed (or ranked) 44 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
The Colonel

45
+ - 33 123
Peen is listed (or ranked) 45 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Peen

46
+ - 29 113
Hard Drive/ Floppy Drive is listed (or ranked) 46 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Hard Drive/ Floppy Drive

47
+ - 26 108
Piece is listed (or ranked) 47 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Piece

48
+ - 26 111
Alabama Black Snake is listed (or ranked) 48 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Alabama Black Snake

49
+ - 27 118
Purple Headed Soldier is listed (or ranked) 49 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Purple Headed Soldier

50
+ - 18 99
Sniper Rifle is listed (or ranked) 50 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Sniper Rifle