Special Effects We Wish Were Real By litgoddess  [23 more lists]

Giant Metal Bodyguard

(this is actually a really good movie)

I'd like to have a giant metal bodyguard for the following reasons:

To all the girls who picked on me in junior high because I was poor;

To Wells Fargo Financial, for calling me ten times a day for something I didn't even owe anymore;

To every customer who calls up, whining in my ear, with their kids screaming in their ears, with the TV on HIGH;

To every driver who ever cut me off and SLOWED DOWN in the freaking CARPOOL lane;

To news reporters who think Michael Jackson's kids are National News;

To the President of Iran, who says the Holocaust never happened and exhibits more arrogance than France;

To every American who refuses to pay taxes and refuses to exit MY country;

To the director of the DMV, who refuses to overhaul the damn waiting system;

To the creators of reality TV; who have nothing better to do;

To the idiots and assholes in Hollywood, who make millions of dollars just by breathing and who also have nothing better to do;

To all of my friends who aren't reading my lists:

You've been warned.

De-Aging in 5 Seconds

Women everywhere gazed in jaw-dropping awe as King Theodan went from 90 to 50 in 0.00 seconds. They even called up their plastic surgeons, demanding the same procedure. Unfortunately, WETA couldn't be reached for comment.

This would be an interesting concept because there would be no concept of time. Unless we're only turning back the clock once we get really old and haggard, and simply return to when we looked our best.

In that case, there'd be a heck of a lot of toddlers ruling the world.

Wait...

Aliens Blow Up the White House

Again, I have a portable toilet and bottled water in my garage. Who's down?

The Force

From controlling the weak-minded, to moving objects, to choking non-believers, to avoiding Darth Vader’s lack of marksmanship, this is one invisible special effect I’d like to use on more than a few people. I’d hire myself out as a professional EnFORCER – HAHA, get it? Yeah, that was lame.

(For the purists out there, yes, I KNOW The Force is what makes Jedi Mind Tricks possible. Go back to darning your costume and let me finish my list. )

Fire Sale

wow, just look at that guy. *sigh* he only gets better with time...OH SORRY..

Your tax bill comes on time, doesn’t it? Too bad your unemployment doesn’t. You’re demanded to foot the bill for Congress to sit on their asses all day and pay for vacations to screw their secretaries. Who pays for YOU to take your mistress on a vacation? Who pays for YOU to sit on your ass all – wait, never mind.

But still, wouldn’t it kick major soccer balls to stick it to the government and watch THEM scramble for a change? There's an entire generation of wannabe-anarchists. Let's see what Emo Boy does without his hair dryer and guy-liner.

I’ve got bottled water, cup ‘o’ noodles and a portable toilet in my garage. Let’s do it!