Special Effects We Wish Were Real Anything
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Special Effects We Wish Were Real

How many of us have left the movies disgusted because it was either 100% CGI or just 100% bulls**t? There have been times I left the movies absolutely bitter because I knew the chances of ever having THAT superpower were about the same as a virgin surviving hell. Maybe I'm the lone realist in my universe, but there are several elements in movies I wish to my Holy Creator were reel. Get it? Reel? Nevermind, just read the damn list.

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  1. 6


    I refuse to provide the definition - don't act like you haven't seen the movie.

    Traffic jams would be a thing of the past. The only hurdle to worry about is landing on someone’s head. Otherwise, all forms of public transportation would be rendered useless and commuter emissions are a done deal.

    Saying "See you in 5!" would actually mean something. Of course, attempting to lie about your whereabouts and why you can’t get home would also be a thing of the past. But so would grounding. See? Win/Win situation.

  2. 3

    Aliens Blow Up the White House

    Again, I have a portable toilet and bottled water in my garage. Who's down?

  3. 5

    Fire Sale

    wow, just look at that guy. *sigh* he only gets better with time...OH SORRY..

    Your tax bill comes on time, doesn’t it? Too bad your unemployment doesn’t. You’re demanded to foot the bill for Congress to sit on their asses all day and pay for vacations to screw their secretaries. Who pays for YOU to take your mistress on a vacation? Who pays for YOU to sit on your ass all – wait, never mind.

    But still, wouldn’t it kick major soccer balls to stick it to the government and watch THEM scramble for a change? There's an entire generation of wannabe-anarchists. Let's see what Emo Boy does without his hair dryer and guy-liner.

    I’ve got bottled water, cup ‘o’ noodles and a portable toilet in my garage. Let’s do it!

  4. 9
  5. 8

    Jedi Mind Trick

    "You WILL ______".

    Feel free to insert your own, but my list includes "give me a raise, let me have the day off, empty the gym just for me, give me a massive discount, move off the road for me, do all of my laundry, kill Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan, give me front row tix to Anderson Silva’s next fight, give me the winning lotto numbers, outlaw ALL teen movies, make horror movies with a plot, give Rob Zombie a star on the walk of fame, blow away the Jonas Brothers, incinerate all ignorant persons and just hand me my college degree, already."

  6. 4
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