Stewie Griffin Quotes Anything
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Stewie Griffin Quotes

Stewie Griffin quotes make us laugh, cringe and often face-palm as they are uttered by the infant on the popular prime time animated series "Family Guy" Sunday nights on FOX. Though he's just a baby, Stewie certainly has an impressive vocabulary which he shares with viewers via series creator and lead voice talent Seth MacFarlane.

Stewie Griffin has become a favorite character on the series because of his wise beyond his years commentary and snarky comebacks. No one would expect an infant to know foreign languages, yet the youngster is able to demand pancakes in Spanish and French in one episode. No one would expect him to comprehend what prostitutes do in another episode, yet he knows enough to ask them about any "tread left on their tires."

When he's not off on various adventures with family dog Brian or learning about female anatomy from the dirty magazine's under brother Chris' bed, Stewie Griffin spends much of his time plotting to kill his mother, Lois Griffin. One of his most popular quotes expresses his hatred for the women who gave birth to him when he often utters, "Damn you, vile woman!"

His other go-to lines depend on the situation. "Victory is mine!" for example is his favorite to celebrate an accomplishment, usually of the evil variety, while he uses the exclamation "Blast!" to express frustration and either "say whaaaaat?" or "What the deuce?" to express confusion or remark on a WTF moment.

Like the show itself, the best Stewie quotes are often distasteful and inappropriate but are what keep viewers coming back for more. So what if his head is shaped like a football, he's hilarious and that's why he's loved around the world.
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    What the Deuce?

    What the deuce?

    Limited by the FCC, Stewie can't exactly curse on the primetime network animated series so instead, he uses the phrase "what the deuce?" to respond to the WTF moments.

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    I Come Bearing A Gift.

    Stewie: "Hello, mother. I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint. It's in my diaper and it's not a toaster."

    Since Stewie is after all an infant, albeit a talking, time-traveling infant, his diaper does need changed every once in a while and he is never a stranger to demand a fresh nappy in the most clever ways.

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    Damn You Vile Woman

    Damn you vile woman, you've impeded my work since the day I escaped your vile womb.

    Perhaps the most used Stewie quote, the tot often expresses his dislike for his mother, Lois, and curses her with the "damn you vile woman" line.

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    I'd Love to Stay and Chat...

    Stewie: "So Olivia, beautiful day"
    Olivia: "You're not going to far again, are you?"
    Stewie: "Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch."

    Sitting outside waiting for a ride home from the school for performing arts with Olivia, Stewie attempts to make small take with his nemesis before Lois arrives to drive him home. As Stewie gets into the car, he pops off a line about how he'd like to stay but Olivia is a "total bitch."

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    I Want Pancakes!

    Stewie: "I want pancakes! God, do you people understand every language except English? Yo quiero pancakes! Donnez moi pancakes! Click click bloody click pancakes!"
    Foster Mom: "Poor little guy, pancakes must be street for crack."

    Placed with a foster family after child services believes Stewie is the daughter of a drug-addicted Meg, Stewie craves pancakes and goes on a brief rant about the tasty treats.

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