Talk Like A Pirate Day | Why It Would Suck To Be A Pirate By PT_Tesla [39 more lists]
Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom made the pirate life look so exciting. Here's 5 reasons why it would suck.
- 1
Bird Shit
You're old parakeet Polly will need to unload all those crackers he's eating somewhere. It might be on your shoulder but if you're as stupid as the reporter in this clip you'll get it in your mouth. -
- 2
Krakens
Ah the fresh air, the salty breeze in your hair, wtf, a slimy tentacle starts caressing your junk. How the h**l are you supposed to survive a giant octopus attack. Well you're the pirate you figure it out. - 3
Scurvy
Pirates don't have shitty teeth from to many sweets. It's from a Vitamin C deficiency, which causes scurvy. Sponge Bob and Pink are singing about it in this clip so maybe it's not all that bad. No, it's not just limited to pirates, you can get scurvy from sitting on your ass playing Halo eating Cheetos and drinking Mountain Dew for months at a time too. -
- 4
Argh GPS Is For Sissies
You're a pirate, you don't have any GPS so how the h**l do you find the buried treasure? It's hard enough finding the TV remote. - 5
Tweet This
You're stuck on a wooden ship at sea for months with no internet! No twitter, no facebook, no myspace, and no hulu.com TV. There's nothing to do but find shapes in cloud formations - and that got old in the 3rd grade. After a few months you'll be begging for a Kraken to eat you.
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