Sigh… it's the time of the month. Again. Cramps, headaches, and the need to ask your best girlfriend, "Uh… do you have a tampon?"
To make you feel a little bit better about your period, here's a list of tampon horror stories. Because trust us, there are a lot of ways wearing a tampon can go wrong: from the occasional lost and forgotten tampon, to ones that were used weapons, to crazy toxic shock syndrome tales that make it seem as tampons were created to destroy us from the inside out. These horrors have happened to numerous women, even famous pop-stars and models. In an a surprising twist, some have happened to people who aren't women (like members of boy bands and unlucky little brothers). But hey, at least they haven't happened to you, right?
The first tampons (as we think of them now) were created in the 18th century. But there's evidence that Egyptian women used papyrus ebers during their monthly visits from Aunt Flow in ancient times. Though some of these horror stories probably wouldn't happen to Cleopatra (like being known as "The Girl That Ate Her Tampon") chances are periods were just as annoying then as they are now.
If you're a girl, chances are you've experienced some of these moments. This list might make you cringe in disgust, cry with empathy, or laugh in camaraderie. We've all been there. And if you haven't personally experienced all of these moments, don't worry, chances are you will. Well, we hope not, for your sake.
That Time a Tampon Saved a Soldier's Life
Not exactly a horror story, but still pretty incredible.
A care package meant for a female Marine was accidentally given to a male Marine. Initially the guy's fellow Marines gave him a hard time about it, especially the tampons. They were soon very fond of the mistake when one of the tampons from the care package was used to save another Marine's life. The soldier was shot when the convoy was ambushed. The fellow Marines plugged the injured soldier's wound with the tampon to stop the bleeding. A doctor later confided that had they not used the tampon the soldier would have most likely bled to death.
Date Immediately Regrets Pulling Tampon String
During a romantic walk on a beach, two summer lovers came across a large piece of driftwood. As the boy helped the girl step across the obstruction he squinted down at the girl's shorts. "Hang on, you have a really long string…" he uttered. Before she could stop him he reached forward and pulled out her tampon. Realizing what he'd done, the horrified boy threw the tampon into the ocean and then scrubbed his hands with sand and surf.
Personal Foul? Tampon Fell Out During Basketball Game
During a girl's annual intramural basketball game, in which she was only one of two girls on her team, one unlucky lady noticed that her tampon fell out. Not realizing what it was, one of her teammates yelled out, "dead mouse." Thinking fast, the girl fell on it, scooped it up, and ran to the bathroom. The team was disqualified, but it was a lot better than having to admit to six boys that her tampon fell out onto the gym floor during the game.
It's a "Common Thing" for Tampons to Get Lost
A girl noticed that things weren't "smelling so fresh" down there and booked it in to see her doctor. After relaying her symptoms: bad smell, odd spotting after sex, and not feeling 100% well, she laid down on the table. The doctor took a quick look and immediately discovered the problem: the girl had a tampon stuck inside her. Horrified, the girl shouted, "What's wrong with me?" The doctor chuckled and responded that it's a common thing.