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Ted Movie Quotes

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'Ted' movie quotes include some of the funniest lines from this 2012 raunchy comedy movie starring Mark Wahlberg as John Bennett, a man trying to deal with the fact that his childhood teddy bear (who came to life when John was a kid) is his now constant companion. Seth MacFarlane wrote, directed and stars in 'Ted' (as the voice of the bear), and he delivers some of the most memorable quotes in the movie. See a favorite 'Ted' quote? Vote it up! And, if you have a particular favorite 'Ted' movie quote that's not listed here, add it!

When John Bennett was a child, he made a wish: He wished that his beloved stuffed teddy bear was real. That wish came true, which was awesome -- for a while. Now that John is an adult, Ted the bear is still with him...all the time. It's kind of cramping his style, too. Ted is rude, crude and socially unacceptable. Is it time for John to part ways with his oldest friend? 'Ted' also stars Mila Kunis, Giovanni Ribisi, Jessica Stroup, Laura Vandervoort and Joel McHale.

What are the best 'Ted' movie quotes? If you love these quotes from 'Ted,' you might also enjoy these lists of the best lines from 'That's My Boy,' 'Seeking a Friend for the End of the World,' 'Men in Black III,' 'Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted,' 'Moonrise Kingdom,' 'Jack and Jill,' 'The Dictator,' 'The Sitter,' 'Safety Not Guaranteed,' 'The Three Stooges,' 'Dark Shadows,' 'American Reunion,' 'Rock of Ages,' 'The Muppets,' and
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    The Thunder Song

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    Ted: "Thunder Buddies for life, right, Johnny?"
    John: "F**kin' right!"
    Ted: "All right, come on, let's sing "The Thunder Song"."
    John: "All right."
    John and Ted (singing together): "When you hear the sound of thunder, don't you get too scared. Just grab your thunder buddy and say these magic words: F**k you, thunder! You can suck my dick! You can't get me, thunder, 'cause you're just God's farts."


    Ah, the Thunder Song: This is definitely one of the best quotes in the 'Ted' movie. Remember it the next time a storm comes along, and be sure to sing it loudly.

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