The 10 Biggest WTF Moments of 2009 By IHateEverything [37 more lists]

Recession, octomom, ridiculously frequent celebrity deaths, PIRATES!, the balloon boy hoax--2009 was filled with WTF?!?! Whether tragic, triumphant or just too weird to be believed, 2009 brought the bzuh?! From Obama's swearing in to Palin's bowing out to--what exactly happened in Iran, again? Relive the WTF that was 2009.

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1

I lost my job?

Yes, no other phrase quite sums up the loss of your job and 401K like "WTF?!". In 2009, millions of Americans lost their jobs, and the first time in half a century the unemployment percentage shot up into the double digits.Look on the bright side though, now you have plenty of time to work on all your new exciting hobbies like panhandling, cooking spam, afternoon napping, and making effigies of Bernie Madhoff to light on fire. Now is also a good time to ask that bum on the corner about which cardboard box makes the sturdiest apartment, since if things don't get better soon, you might be neighbors.

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2

Myspace is Dead?

Not officially, but ever since Myspace was sold off by Tom and Co. a while back, it doesn't quite have the luster and shine that it used to. What was a social networking site run by young people for young people quickly turned into a profitable entity owned by the old and out of touch who couldn't quite figure out what to do with it. Then, in an effort to squeeze more money out of the behemoth, they haphazardly knocked out a load bearing wall and wakened the entire structure. Everyone who was an avid user never thought it would happen, but in 2009 the rats scurried away from the burning ship of self indulgence and joined up with the Facebook party boat. The five remaining people using Friendster still don't give a s**t.

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3

She just quit?

In 2008 we were introduced to a little known Alaskan governor named Sarah Palin, and with her help John McCain lost the presidential election for the Republican party. Sarah could have just gone back to her job and focused on that, but she had tasted fame and power, and she wanted more. Then, in 2009 she announced that she would be prematurely leaving the office of governor, working on a book, and possibly getting ready to run for prez in 2012. Many people laughed at the irony, but the right wing of the right wing has fully supported her in all of her actions, and will be her base if she chooses to run. So on behalf of 2009 and 2012, "Sarah, WTF?".

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4

Wait, who died?

While 2008's big celebrity death was Heath Ledger and we got that out of the way early, this last twelve or so months there have been a ridiculous number of beloved celebrities that have shed this mortal coil. H**l, in one 24 hour period we lost both Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett. Oh sure, we lose John Hughes, but we still have the genius and talented Michael Bay and Uwe Boll to fill that gap. From comedians to directors to singers to actors to anything else you cared about, no one was spared. Is it too soon to make a Patrick Swayze joke about Ghost 2: Even Ghostier?

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5

We have a Black President?

Even though he was elected last year, he hadn't been inaugurated yet, so this counts. I say that because like any great shock, it takes time to fully come to terms with the change and love him or hate him, Barrack H. Obama is definitely a change. Now we just have to start a betting pool for what minority will be the next to piss off white Republicans and take power. My money is on a gay Jewish Paruvian with his younger brother Quato growing out of his chest. Juan/Quato 2016!

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6

So, who's the leader?

When Iran held their 2009 election for president, there was a lot of talk of what would happen if ultra conservative, gay bashing, and America hating current leader Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was dethroned. The morning after the votes were cast, it was announced that with 2/3 of the votes counted, Mahmoud had gotten 64% of the votes to beat out the other three candidates and retained the position. At this time, other countries monitoring the election raised their voices and claimed that the outcome was fixed. This led to a lot of protesting for a while and an inexplicable legitimate use of Twitter, but the result as of now is that Ahmadinejad is still the leader. A highly religious and conservative man stealing the election with the help of a larger organization bent on control? That's something that would never happen in America.

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7

How many kids?

What do you call a jobless, ex stripper, single mother of six who lives with her mother and inexplicably gives birth to eight more kids in one go? Her name is Nadya Suleman, but her vagina is now known as the second largest water slide in California. The woman now known mainly as "Octomom" was at first interesting, but then the more we heard, the more we pitied her and her mess of a life. This was not the fun litter of kids and dysfunctional parents like John and Kate, this was bad. After the public turned on her, the news outlets would occasionally give an update on her situation, and all we could ask was, "WTF?"

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8

Is that a Jolly Roger?

The pirates of 2008 were Jonny Depp and Keira Knightley jumping around on screen. In 2009 we saw the non Disney version with the hijacking of ships off the Somali coast, and these pirates were less armed with swords and Keith Richards impressions and more with RPG launchers and assault rifles. The nation of Somalia had been abused many times over, so these desperate youths took it upon themselves to take over small ships for goods and hostages. When small ships weren't enough, they grabbed their grappling hooks and took over a few barges. Then, at the height of it all, they took over a large oil freighter and crew hostage, which got the USA's attention because no one fucks with our oil. The US then sent sharpshooters who took out the pirates so quickly and accurately that the first thing we said was, "WTF, that's awesome."

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9

Mickey Mouse owns Marvel?

If you're not a nerd, you couldn't care less. For all us fanboys, though, we are confused and a little pissed off. Could this mean a 'High School Musical 4: Xavier's Mansion', or a Mouse Club Avengers? The point is that Disney has a very real chance of dumbing down and kiddifying any property they want without caring if it pisses off the Marvel fanbase or the artists/creators. Disney can do whatever the h**l they want. I mean, have you BEEN to Disneyland? People, in the interest of self-preservation, tend not to eff with companies that have their own currency.

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10

How did he get in the ballon?

One of the more oddball stories of 2009 was that of Falcon the balloon boy. It goes something like this: A father calls 911 saying that he can't find his 6yr old son, and thinks that he "might" have stowed away in an experimental weather balloon that the father had launched. The balloon was tracked down and they grounded it to discover that Falcon Heenes was hiding not in the balloon, but in the family's attic. When asked on CNN why the boy didn't show himself, he answered all too honestly, "You guys said we did this for the show.", and then threw up twice. It's bad enough that people do stupid s**t for youtube, but to tie up law officers and 24 hour news networks for the chance to w***e your family on a reality TV show is just overtly retarded. Family, if you wanted a reality show, why didn't you just pump your wife full of fertility drugs and follow the John/Kate model?

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