Dead or Alive Xtreme 2 Nude Code by EGMv
All of the best video game industry pranks have been played by Electronic Gaming Monthly (RIP).
This is by far the meanest. Kind of.
Anybody who plays, owns or has even heard of Dead or Alive, as a franchise, wants to see these similar-looking cartoon character (with insanely awesome bodies) naked. This is a fact. Nobody WOULDN'T click on a link that said "naked Dead or Alive girls", if even just for curiosity's sake.
So when EGM announced that there was a nude code for the latest this epic c*cktease of a game franchise which features the characters dancing, lounging (with maximum jiggle factor) or even bending over and having "butt battles" together, everyone took to Google faster than Charlie Sheen to rock bottom.
If you have ANY DOUBT that this game exists SOLELY for the reason that porn does, please view the NSFW video of the red head lounging on a chair here. Dear lord. Personally, I'm a Hitomi fan, if only just because of how angry she always looks.
Anyway, the cheat required players to complete the entire game in juuuuuuust under the amount than is physically possible.
EGM were torturous, evil, brilliant monsters.
Duke Nukem Forever Demo by File Planetv
The "Chinese Democracy" of video games. Arguably one of the most highly anticipated (and at this point it's less of a hype-before-the-prequels-came-out anticipation and more of a long-line-at-a-ride-you-don't-even-like-at-Disneyland-in-blazing-hot-weather waiting game) games of all time, Duke Nukem forever is the follow-up to a game that took people's favorite movie one-liners, a badass that makes the main guy from Doom look like a wimp and killer monsters and made them into one of the first great first person shooters.
Ironically, the announcement of the sequel came in April of 1997, which really makes the release of this game (or the non-release) the most cruel joke in video game history.
After many stops and starts in the game's development cycle, between 1997 and 2008, news about the games "impending release" came out on a near-yearly basis. Each time disappointing gamers with the news that it, sadly, was not coming out.
Duke Nukem Forever is so appropriately named because that's how long it's taken it to come out. It's the dead-beat father of video games. It gave us some great times and keeps saying it's going to come around, but never fails to disappoint.
It was supposed to come out sometime in 2009, but didn't because one of the companies in development went through massive downsizing, then the case went to court. After that it was announced that after 13 years, it would be officially released in May of 2011... only to be delayed until mid June of 2011.
Needless to say, it's a frustrating fight, which is what makes this prank played by FilePlanet (a video game downloading site) that much more cruel.
The prank? A link to the demo with a promotional screenshot of the game. It's free! It even has a "Download" button!... but it doesn't work. The whole thing was probably one of the most disappointing experiences in a lot of internet browsers' lives.
Pandaren Express by Blizzard
The perfect solution for the lazy gamer, and again, an ingenious way to solve the problem of having to lift a finger during countless hours of doing nothing but lifting fingers.
Pandaren Express was the best April Fools joke ever executed by the creators of World of Warcraft.
Pandaren Express was a parody of competing MMORPG game Everquest's real life partnership with Pizza Hut, where you could order pizzas through the game itself.
Pandaren Express would let you order Chinese Food via the World of Warcraft servers and have it delivered without ever having to face a real-life human being ever again. Cause who the hell wants that kind of stress and pressure?
Not THIS guy!
Needless to say, they never delivered on this "promise" because it was really just a great joke and a jab at their competitors, but really, again, it's only a matter of time. This is a brilliant idea.
An Internet Classic: The Scream Shock Maze by Parents and Jerks Everywherev
Remember when the internet started getting popular and ubiquitous? When you would spend hours looking through ebaumsworld for videos you only used to be able to see on Max X late at night on a Sunday and one of the primary uses of the internet was to download music, look at .gif websites and playing pranks on little kids? We're a lot more sophisticated now, because now we have illiterate cats, free extremely-specific porn and the ability to see where our ex girlfriends are via GPS.
One of the early viral staples of the internet was the series of prank-games where you would be sent to a site that was either a "find the __" or a magic eye (just because we were transitioning out of the 90s at that point, still) or sometimes... it was a game that required a certain level of calm.
This was the most cruel kind of scream shock, by far. The player of the game (in this case a maze game) is forced into a sense of calm concentration, just to be shamefully startled like when a child runs across the foreground of the camera in a crappy horror movie remake.
This particular game is a puzzle that "tests your steady hand." You lose whenever you touch the borders and the point is to get to the end. And the payoff at the end is really the worst part. Even if you know it's coming, it scares you with a Linda Blair exorcist face.
Have fun sleeping.
Click here to play the game
BONUS: Here's a video of a father doing this to his kid with this game. Best. Parenting. Ever.
The WiiHelm by ThinkGeek
In a world where there's a machine that automatically Tweets for your dog and in a time where pre-packed-and-peeled hard boiled eggs are a "real thing" it's not that hard to believe that there would exist a popular video game helmet that would allow you to play while eating.
The inconvenience of having to actually consume something in order to keep your body alive while playing marathon-long gaming sessions is clearly a problem that needs to be solved sometime in the next ten years.
So, a few years ago, ThinkGeek.com took this idea and ran with it in another one of their awesome fake-products released on April Fool's day (aka the first of April... you fool.)
Here's the full description of the WiiHelm via ThinkGeek:
The Nintendo Wii has surely revolutionized gaming as we know it. Rabid fanboys everywhere are now flailing their arms in delight as they wield the Wiimote as a tennis racket, baseball bat or sword. Problem is the average gaming geek is just not up to the strenuous task of vigorous arm movement for longer than 10 minutes. This makes those extended play sessions a thing of the past... and who wants to beef up at the gym just to play video games on your couch? We sure don't.
Fortunately for cream puffs everywhere the WiiHelm is now available at ThinkGeek. Simply lock your existing Wiimote into the stylish white helmet and free your hands for relaxation... or other important tasks. After extensive scientific study it was found that manipulating muscles in your neck for 10 minutes uses 64% less energy than waving your arms about like a lunatic. The WiiHelm works great with all of your favorite Wii games and the included foot pedal allows easy button presses using minimal toe effort. Plus the amazing Wiimote Saf-T-Lok technology and double reinforced head strap save you thousands of dollars in damaged flat-screen repair charges.
So why was this so cruel? Because it solves a problem that's existed in gaming ever since it started: the need to use your hands and be even a vestige of a functional human being fore man five minutes at a time.
Click here to 'buy' the WiiHelm
The Pokemon Kart Wii Trailer by 1UPv
The cruelest jokes are really ones that purport to either solve a problem or provide an audience with something they actually want. It's like going to an impoverished country and opening a free gourmet restaurant that only serves empty candy wrappers.
This particular joke was cruel because it was for a game that even low-level Pokemon fans would try. Who wouldn't love some kind of twist, change or update to the Mario Kart franchise? It's easily one of the greatest, most fun party games to play with a group of friends for all ages.
Who can't remember jumping over their friends on Rainbow Road or spinning out tight turns or crashing into their own red shells somehow (I was never really good at it okay!)
Well, to be able to do this with a bunch of well-known characters in pop culture would be an awesome opportunity for people to get into something they're not really into. It would be a great intro into the world of Pokemon for people who are on the outside, and a great way to play as some of your favorite characters for the Pokemon fans of the world.
Everyone would win. But instead, this trailer was a hoax. An awesome, well-delivered, pretty disappointing hoax. I'd want to play as Misty, because I have problems. And yes, yes, I know there's already a racing game with Pokemon in it (Pokemon Dash), but for the first time in my life, I agree with a YouTube commenter who responded to this news: "Pokemon Dash is a piece of sh*t."
And it's not like this prank was something nobody's really ever wanted or wouldn't be successful like that Smash Bros. Brawl X that included blood done by IGN in 2009. Who cares about Mortal Kombat blood coming out of Mario?
Hustler's Playstation Sex Game: Ultimate Conquest by Screen Play
In 2010, the guys over at Screen Play did an article outlining the news of something coming out called "Ultimate Conquest", a sex game for the PS3 that was supposedly being developed by Hustler magazine.
The game was supposed to be similar in concept to all those crazy Japanese games where you get points the faster you get some girl to climax or something, only with the American spin of being "marketable".
Supposedly compatible with the controllers for the Playstation Move, which already look like sex toys in of themselves, this game was going to be sold exclusively online in order to avoid any kind of ratings snaffoos.
According to Flynt Publications (according to Screen Play):
"We're going to make sure we push all the right buttons with Ultimate Conquest," says Mr Woodrow. "Gamers can look forward to a titillating experience with an exciting climax."
There are currently no sex games available for the PlayStation 3 console, but the Xbox 360's Arcade Games service on Xbox Live has many "massage" games that utilise the vibration feature of the Xbox controller.
An actually fun, awesome and fully-playable, actually engaging, sex game that you didn't have to mod or buy Japanese software (or learn Japanese for) would be something that most people would LOVE to play.
This was a realistic, well-done and totally cruel prank, but like with a lot of these pranks, it's only a matter of time before someone actually does this.
Life is Hard: The Game
This wasn't done by the "gaming industry" exactly, but it is the greatest game to date that you could possibly send someone who considers themselves a hardcore gamer if you want to screw with them. Do yourself a favor and play through it, it'll take you two minutes.
This short-but-sweet game takes your inner gamer and puts him (or her) through mental torture of a Saw-like capacity.The main character of this game looks like a game designer. He's your every-geek. He has a bad hairline, glasses, an open, wrinkled button down shirt over a t-shirt and jeans.
You start out the gaming figuring out that the controls are simple, the theme song is catchy and you generall like this guy. There are realistic mushrooms, question blocks and there's only one direction to go. Just your every day game, right?
Game Spoilers Ahead
This game is an a******. . If they made people play video games in Abu Ghraib, this would be one of the most popular ones. All the blocks are juuuust out of reach, all the jumps require a remarkable amount of precision for a "first level" and the way the blocks are positioned make the gamer think that they're missing out on some awesome block smashing... then you get to the last block. The lowest one. The one you can actually reach.
Your head cracks open and you fall to the ground dead, because unlike Mario, you tried to use your head. Mario always had his arm reached up.
Mario d***oed blocks with his fist!
So you d**, , but not in vain, because a mushroom still comes out and hits you, making your pathetic, bleeding corpse bigger with that satisfying Mario-growing sound. This isn't a good thing at this point, though, as it makes your body too heavy for the cliff where you're lying and the cliff falls off, dooming your body to never be found by anyone ever again. And no one will ever erase your internet history.
How the hell did this guy ever leave his house at all?
Click here to actually play the game
The iPad Arcade Cabinet: iCade by ThinkGeek
Another brilliant ThinkGeek invention that would sell tens of thousands if it actually existed, the iPad Arcade Cabinet was an April Fools prank that would actually be pretty cool, if even just for an iPad holder.
This happened in 2010, right as the iPad was coming out.
As iPad owners, most people want any excuse they possibly can to justify their extraneous, completely unnecessary purchase (or gloat over their luck at winning one) and this was the perfect opportunity to get this niche market hot and bothered for an accessory for their already-expensive accessory.
Not only would this awesome product validate iPad owners, but it would actually work. No, it isn't just a stand, the Product Specifications on ThinkGeek are as follows:
- Beautifully retro-styled tabletop arcade cabinet for your otherwise useless iPad
- iPad connects to the iCADE controls via Bluetooth
- Atari providing classic games ready to go with the iCADE, including Asteroids and other top games.
- API to be released allowing any iOS developer to create iCADE-compatible games.
So it would actually work with the arcade sticks AND you'd have original, non-ripoff games.
This is an invention that would revolutionize the way people think of iPads. You, then, would not only be buying a Flashless, phoneless giant iPhone , but you'd be buying something of value: a mini arcade cabinet.
And isn't it everyone's dream to have arcade cabinets in their house?
I really, really want one of these. And so do you. Cruel.
The Razer Venom Nebulizer
As I've said before, the inconvenience of actually having to feed yourself after a long night (and then day) of video games is something that they should have NASA working on.
Well, the fine people at the fictional company "Razer" decided to solve this problem (as a joke.)
Razer venom was supposedly an IV needle system that would allow you to pump nutrients directly into your veins while playing video games.
The intravenous nature of the whole thing basically made fun of the concept of gamers not wanting to detach themselves from games for long enough to even provide sustenance for themselves.
I think it was actually a pretty damn awesome idea. But either way, it's a hilarious, apt, yet cruel (but true) joke that really could've revolutionized the way models lose weigh- I mean, people play video games.
Here are some of the specs of what is called the "Razer Venom Started Pack"
Too lazy to stick a needle in your arm? Razer Nebulizer had you covered with a "Mist" option. I can think of about 8 different uses for this thing.