Drunk On a Lawnmower Part 1This clip gets rolling at 01:22 when the cop finally confronts the drunk lawnmower driver.
Why was he driving drunk on a lawnmower?
Well, there are two reasons actually:
Number one is that his truck broke down so he's been driving a lawnmower for two weeks.
Number two is that his wife said she'd "stab [him] in the face if [he] didn't get more beer."
As funny as that is, this clip reaches classic status when Steve decides he has to pee at 02:30 and the consequence that ultimately stems from his decision.
We don't want to ruin it, but by the end of the clip this poor bitched is threatening to have his wife kick the cop's ass.
She'd probably let him off with a warning if he bought her a beer...
My Nuts Itch!Have you ever wondered what would happen if you got handcuffed, but you had a terrible itch? As in a horrible, unbelievable and unavoidable itch? Especially in the region of your crotch? What would you do? How would you proceed with the situation and deal with it?
Say what you will about this poor sap, but he made a decision... to gyrate like an idiot and ask police officers if they would give his junk a solid scratch for him.
00:26 The drunk guy really starts dancing. Not even the officer reading him his rights can keep from laughing.
1:04 The cops refuse... "due to [his] combative nature." to scratch his nuts for him. So, if he weren't being so difficult, they probably would have given his groin a solid scraping for him.
What Mothafuckin' Breath Test?!Oh where to begin here...First, let's begin by saying that the man being arrested here rivals Samuel L. Jackson in his poetically awesome use of the word "m**********r." It's not every day you meet somebody whose entire life was scripted by Quentin Tarantino.
Second, let us just give out a list of the classic moments to watch out for: 01:27 when he details the relationship between the cameraman and the female officer...
01:46 when he unleashes a string of jibberish only to immediately shut up...
02:45 when he tells the officer that he'll close his eyes for a physical test only if she closes hers...
03:22 when he refuses the test...
03:50 when he takes the mic thinking he must be on Maury...
and 04:40, when the arresting officer tries to explain that his refusal to cooperate will result in his license being suspended. His response: Perfect, irref*table logic... that only a drunk would come up with.
Drunk On a Lawnmower Part 2It's one thing to get arrested for driving your lawnmower drunk... that's... well, let's be nice and call that "understandable..." We suppose, in theory at least, that that could, potentially, happen to anyone.
But to get arrested for the same stunt AGAIN and for the officer pulling you over to know your first name... Well, that's when it's called a "problem."
We love the arresting officer in this video. He clearly got to know Steve over the course of the last arrest and doesn't want to have to haul him in. And yet, in typical Steve fashion, this video reaches classic status when Steve decides to drive away at 01:55 despite warnings from the officer. And, of course, he faces hilarious consequences.
02:25 - 02:30 Classic Steve reaction. This is quotable. Internet classic.
These two guys need their own TV show. Fox... Get on that.
When Strippers Get Pulled OverRemember that porn movie you saw as a kid? You know the one we're talking about. It had that police officer who pulled over the two hot strippers wearing nothing but their panties with no bras.
Then they got out of the car and started playing around in the sprinklers, and asked the officer to "throw them in the back seat?" Remember that one?
That wasn't actually a porn... that was a real DUI arrest. The best part isn't the naked ladies (you can't make much out anyway, you pervs), but the arresting officer who really tries his best to appreciate that rare moment when it doesn't always suck to be a cop.
"You're pretty hot!"
"Well, thank YOU very much..."
He still arrested them though. What a wuss.
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