- 6Not all bitch slaps have to be issued by men. In fact, Cher strikes a great blow, and an even greater bitch slap for womankind as she slaps the holy hell out of Nicolas Cage at 01:17 in this clip from Moonstruck. Better yet, it was in response to a declaration of love from the star of Bangkok Dangerous. (We're pretty sure she got the Academy Award on sheer principle.)BUY @ amazon
What follows is the famous "Snap out of it" line, one of the most memorable romantic comedy quotes from the 1980's, right behind "I'll have what she's having" from When Harry Met Sally, a scene that, come to think of it, could also have been approved by a good bitch slap. "Damn it, Meg! We're trying to eat over here! Shut the hell up!"
- 7By the time we get to this point in Chinatown, Jack Nicholson has had to endure a lot of s**t, not the least of which in getting his nose damn near cut off by the director himself (on-screen, no less). So by the time Faye Dunaway starts lying to him yet again at 02:35 it's pretty understandable that he's run out of patience. And so the bitch slapping begins, one after another, in a ping pong game of twist revelations that are as dramatically potent today as they were when the film was released. Oh yeah... SPOILER WARNING, incidentally. Sure, a bitch slap might be against the man laws , but if it's done by Jack Nicholson, I'm sure it is acceptable.BUY @ amazon
It's generally considered poor form to bitch slap anyone, particularly a woman, but if you absolutely must raise your bitch slapping hand in anger make sure that the information you get out of her is as mind-blowing as this.
- 8When all else fails to revive Virgil's wife from certain death, he resorts to what any desperate man in his position would do... slapping the everloving s**t out of her. And you know what... it works, although that probably has a lot to do with that fact that this is a James Cameron film; a director whose works tend to be as subtle as a slap across the face anyway.BUY @ amazon
It's also funny that a director who prides himself on technical realism (or at least plausibility) showed a character being defibrillated in a pool of water yet none of the half dozen people leaning over her gets a violent electrical shock. Hey James, you know when they say "Clear!" that it's not just an expression, right?
This whole scene is memorable but if you want to get right to the smacking ("God damn it, bitch, you've never backed away from anything in your life!") go to 02:55.
- 9Starting at 01:00 here, Steve McQueen starts issuing the sloppiest bitch slaps on the list, but easily the most realistic. Do you know why?BUY @ amazon
Well, McQueen wasn't actually "supposed" to slap Ali MacGraw but when the cameras rolled, he just did it. Couldn't help himself. Apparently Ali didn't hold a grudge though, because the very next year they got married, officially setting gender relations back two whole decades. Nicely done, Ali. Couldn't help yourself?
- 10This list has really covered the gamut, hasn't it? We've seen progressive bitch slaps, interrogative bitch slaps, medicinal bitch slaps, baptismal bitch slaps, and more... But what IS a bitch slap, and how is one achieved?BUY @ amazon
Leave it to Guy Ritchie, a guy who during his marriage to Madonna probably experienced quite a few first hand (and probably her second hand every once in a while too, just to mix it up), who provides an educational interlude in the middle of his film RocknRolla just to clarify. And unlike the faux homemade bomb recipes in Fight Club, this is something audiences can successfully practice at home!
Just don't practice on your wife or girlfriend. Dude... That's not cool. She's not Ali McGraw, you know.
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