The 10 Grossest Things That Can Grow On Your Body

Actually, it's spelled Elephantiasis. Caused by a parasitic infection from round worms, the lymphatic system is virtually shut down, thereby making it impossible for tissue to shed fluid. The fluid builds up, inflaming the tissue and causing you to swell up like a...wait for it.....an elephant! This disease is commonly found in underdeveloped regions of South America, Central Africa, Asia, the Pacific Islands, and the Caribbean. Long-term infection a buildup of fluid in the scrotum, and elephantiasis of the legs, scrotum, arms, penis, breasts, and vulvae. Before you start envisioning a huge penis or massive jugs on your girl, just remember it's extremely painful and it means you have SEVERAL WORMS mutating in your body. (curable)

Hey, it's a real disease. Even Hagrid refers to it in Harry Potter 3. Basically, bacteria attacks the soft tissue and the fascia, which is a sheath of tissue covering the muscle. NF can occur in an extremity following a minor trauma, or after some other type of opportunity for the bacteria to enter the body such as surgery. So if you went in for that tummy tuck and came out with half a leg, you'll know who to sue. (Once treated, the bacteria is eradicated from the body. During treatment, surgical sites are left open for a sufficient period of time to be sure that the remaining tissue is no longer being destroyed. When the infection has been stopped, the wounds are closed, typically with skin grafting.)

Gingivitis is the inflammation and infection of the gum tissue surrounding the teeth. It is a very common condition and is often the result of poor dental hygiene or ill-fitting dental appliances. Other causes may include poor eating habits, poor tooth alignment, heavy plaque deposits, blood disorders, drug reactions and vitamin deficiencies. And while you're at the dentist, you can ask for a dental dam. Highly complex method for preventing it: BRUSH & FLOSS.

Harlequin Ichthyosis. A severe genetic disorder that mainly affects the skin and only affects infants. The most common cause of death is systemic infection and sufferers rarely survived for more than a few days. However, there have been improvements in care, most notably the drug Isotretinoin (Isotrex). Some patients have survived into adolescence and, in very rare cases, lived to adulthood. I refuse to make a joke about this. Except for this: http://www.sparkplugging.com/the-man-page/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/squeeze_toys.jpg Moving on...

Cirrhosis of the Liver. Cirrhosis is a condition in which the liver slowly deteriorates and malfunctions due to chronic injury. Scar tissue replaces healthy liver tissue, partially blocking the flow of blood. In the United States, heavy alcohol consumption and chronic hepatitis C have been the most common causes of cirrhosis. Obesity is becoming a common cause of cirrhosis, either as the sole cause or in combination with alcohol, hepatitis C, or both. But hey, don't dump out your Stroh and In & Out just yet. It takes YEARS of heavy eating and drinking to get to this point.

Cestoda. Tapeworm infection of the intestine occurs when people eat raw, contaminated pork, beef, or freshwater fish. See, I knew there was a reason why I don't eat sushi. If it's "cool" to get worms up your butt, then I'll happily stay square. The pork and beef tapeworms are large, flat worms that live in the intestine and can grow 15 to 30 feet in length. Once located in the body, doctors use the old fashioned method of cutting you open and removing the parasite, hand over hand. (Fact: back in the day, horse jockey's used to swallow a capsule containing a tapeworm, in order to lose weight. When the worm had consumed enough food, the jockey had it removed.)

It's time for Sex Ed 101 - were YOU paying attention in the fifth grade? Genital Herpes is caused by the Herpes Simplex Virus (HSV) which is from the same family of viruses that cause cold sores. When transmitted through oral sex, a herpes infection can be passed both ways - from mouth to genitals, or from genitals to mouth. Use condoms and dental dams for protection during -- wait, dental dam? Oh, man....ahem... A dental dam is a piece of latex that you spread over your face, tucking it under your lips, so that only your teeth are exposed. Yeah, that'll set the mood. "Oh wait, honey, while I get a condom and a dental dam. Oh, you don't mind if it slather antibacterial cream on you, do you?" Dentists use them, so if you go asking for one, they're gonna know what your up to!!! (non-curable)

AKA Hansen's Disease. (No, not the drink) Chronic bacterial disease of the skin and nerves in the hands and feet and, in some cases, the lining of the nose. Contrary to popular belief, leprosy does not directly cause body parts to fall off on their own accord; instead they become disfigured or amputated as a result of the disease. Leprosy is treatable but the words on Wikipedia are just too big for me to understand.

Basically, it's a chronic infection of the conjunctiva, the thin membrane that covers the outer surface of the eye and the inside lining of the eyelids. Trachoma is caused by infection with Chlamydia trachomatis and is highly infectious, usually spread by contact with eye or nose discharge from an infected person. It is also transmitted by flies and gnats that are attracted to eyes and runny noses. This disease is highly concentrated in third-world countries and communities lacking basic sanitation. While it is treatable, most cases are too extreme to reverse. Since the eyelid is inflamed and enlarged, the eyelashes turn inward and scratch the surface of the eye, causing blindness. Preventative: wash your face and hands.

Ringworm is not caused by a worm. It is caused by a fungus. The kinds of fungi that cause ringworm live and spread on the top layer of the skin and on the hair. They grow best in warm, moist areas, such as locker rooms and swimming pools, and in skin folds. Ringworm is contagious. It spreads when you have skin-to-skin contact with a person or animal that has it. It can also spread when you share things like towels, clothing, or sports gear. OK, now I need a shower and no, you may not use my towel.