The 10 Lamest Super Hero Origins

Luke Cage, Hero for Hire #1 June 1972

First up is a character beloved by few. Luke Cage was created by Marvel back in 1972 because they were pressured by certain groups for not having a very racially balanced superhero line up. Luke’s origin is basically a half assed rip-off of the Captain America Super Soldier serum, but replace SS Serum with untested viral immunity drug. From it, he gained steel hard skin, super strength, and the catch phrase "Sweet Christmas" just to complete the package. So here’s to you, affirmative action hiring.

Defenders vol.1, #17 November 1974

While this group is not very heroic, their origin is pretty stupid all the same. A prisoner named Dirk Garthwaite gets a hold of his enchanted crowbar and while he and some of his fellow inmates are holding it, the crowbar is struck by lightning, giving them super powers. Then they all escape from prison, dress up in spandex, and go pick on Thor and half of the Marvel Universe. This seems like an idea someone got while driving by a construction site, and no one told him to think it over and try again.

More Fun Comics #73 1941

So, mild mannered billionaire Oliver Queen decides to dress up and fight crime. Since he has no powers, does he spend years on ninja training like Batman or amass a giant collections of guns and mental issues like The Punisher? No. Instead, he dresses up like Robin Hood and creates a whole bunch of novelty arrows. He also has great faith that everyone is too stupid to realize that his golden beard is a dead giveaway as to his secret identity, and so far no one has made the connection. Screw that.

All Star Comics #58 January 1976

The origin of Power Girl really doesn’t matter and no one cares because the only reason she was invented in the first place is because some comic artist had a giant breast fetish that he felt needed to be shared with the world. For all you know, her powers are to make your pants feel really tight when you look at her.

Whiz Comics #2 February 1940

There are those heroes that questionably have young boy assistants, but only one hero actually IS a young boy. Captain Marvel is in fact the prepubescent Billy Baston, who was given the power by some unwise wizard to transform when he shouts the word ”SHAZAM!”. Then, a lightning bolt hits the kid and changes him into his full grown counterpart. If you were eight and you got super powers along with an adult body, would you really spend your time saving the city, or would you go off and see what legal beer tastes like as you fly by woman's bathroom windows.