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It Felt Good, Didn't It?vAside from the fact that this creepfest of a video features a 10 year old masturbating for the first 20 seconds, his Stepford-Wife mom's terrifyingly serene reaction to walking in on it really seals the deal for this video being one of the most off-putting sex ed video moments of all time.
Bonus: Ricky's thought process in reaction to what his mom says at 00:32 is clearly "who the hell do you think you are?"
One Never Knows When the Homosexual Is AboutvThis video teaches kids what a homosexual is...kind of.
This is a 1950's video that warns kids to avoid older members of their own sex who are too friendly because those people might be sick in the head. The sickness? Homosexuality. How does one spot this dreaded homosexual? Well, it's not easy because *cue dramatic music* he may appear NORMAL.
This one's pretty much a gem the whole way through.
That Mike Is Really Filling Out...vThis is a perfectly well-meaning sex education video from the 1950's entitled "As Boys Grow." In it, the teacher is taking a little bit too much notice of all the boys' bodies.
Head to 02:36 for the creepiest bit, where he starts playing favorites. There could be an entire list of just this particular video series, but we're a little more generous than that around here.
How Does It Get Hard?vNow we have a mentally challenged boy being taught how his penis gets hard with pictures to accompany the lesson. What makes this bit worse is them sitting on a scuzzy couch in what appears to be the man's basement.
This whole thing will make you more uncomfortable than anything else would for at least a month. The cringe-worthiness is accentuated by the fact that the diagram shows the male erect penis looking longingly at the stars, defying the laws of gravity and how often the guy asks the kid if his penis is ever hard.
Shake it off! Shake it off! Next...
I Had A Wet Dream Last NightvThe best part comes with the entire first 35 seconds of this video in which these kids awkwardly recite dialogue that their parents obviously haven't told them about in real life yet.
After they describe wet dreams to each other (00:00 through 00:35) the mood takes a swan dive when we learn how distant a relationship one of the kids has with his brother... wtf?
Some Women Still Call Menstruation the CursevSkip to 00:28 for a kind moment between mother and daughter...quickly interrupted by awkward, smirking father who almost blames the mother for his child's body rhythm.
4:24 is where the child at hand, Molly, learns how to put on a pad that is less revealing than some bikinis seen at an everyday beach. Why should you see this? The pad comes with a belt. Accessorize!
5:39 Here we learn what can and can't be done while on your period. Any girl can dance on her period, but God forbid she go SQUARE dancing, because everyone knows SQUARE DANCING is the most dangerous, gut-wrenching and strenuous kind of dance man has ever known.
A Girl Has Three Holes Between Her LegsvA mentally challenged girl is educated on the fact that she has three holes between her legs. After being convinced that she doesn't pee out of her "other" hole, at 00:28 through the end of the video, you get a glance of what diagram she's been working with this whole time.
The weirdest moment is at 1:14 when you see the accurate diagram of the female anatomy the student's been working with and how her perception of a naked woman will forever be that of an unhappy, grown-up, member of the Peanuts Gang.
Period? What's That?vSo, four teenage boys are sitting around casually talking about periods, as they do, but one of them doesn't know what they are.
"Periods? What's that?"
This is when their inexplicably prepared gym teacher walks in with charts of the female reproductive cycle under his arm, probably on his way out to lunch with other teachers walking around with charts under their arms waiting for students to talk about something they can teach (as they, clearly, often did in the 50's).
Skip to 00:53 through 00:59 for what a certain young teen thinks sperm cells are.
Skip to 3:44 - The video's real shining moment is the teacher's befuddlement at the question of why a guy would want to "go around" with a girl to begin with. As he struggles to answer the latent homosexual kid's question, his answer really just comes back around to "having a family". So you heard it here, folks, that's the only benefit of "going around with girls".