The Stormtrooper Groper27-year-old Dorothy MacSwoon was accused of sexually assaulting 10 NYU students over the course of two years. This doesn't sound like that many if you're out on a groping spree, but apparently something like 62% of college students have been molested or sexually harassed in some way on the NYU campus, so the sexually charged spree got some attention.
What makes these incidents more remarkable is that she carried them out while dressed as a Stormtrooper, a neo-facist officer of the Galactic Empire as depicted in the film series, Star Wars.
Now, this isn't the first time that there has been a story of someone dressing up and fondling people, but it is unique in the fact that it was a woman doing this, and also that she apparently had a website dedicated to Stormtrooper fetish photos. A WHOLE WEBSITE, OF SEXY STORMTROOPER PHOTOS.
An entire website that has, sadly, been taken down. Luckily, though, the Internet is riddled with stuff that is no longer available to humanity. Here are some prime examples:
Let's hope there are no nearby trees around, or she's a goner.
These are the sexually predatory legs you're looking for.
A picture on her site. I GUARANTEE YOU this is not really her.
She's facing up to 15 years in jail and has a $400,000 fine to pay.
Gumby Tries to Rob a Convenience StoreGumby is one of those characters that really doesn't get enough play these days. That's why it's good to see that he is not forgotten. At least not by one ambitious, idiotic criminal.
A man was caught on tape trying to rob a convenience store while dressed as the lovable rubber creation from our childhoods. At first the owner thought it was a joke, but then Gumby said he had a gun. This is terrifying. Imagine someone in a Gumby costume saying they can kill you at any moment. Not only would it ruin Gumby for you in the minutes before your death, but the bullet would likely come out of some random part of Gumby's body, given that there's no room to comfortably shoot someone in a Gumby costume.
Which brings me to the best part of the story: the guy got caught up in his Gumby costume trying to draw his gun, but could not get to it, to the extent that he got twisted in his costume and decided to leave. It was at this point that it seems he had second thoughts about the crime, as he left without anything more than spare change.
It seems that Gumby should have left the crimes to the real criminal experts:
Captain America Arrested with Burrito in PantsIt seems to be that whenever you mix costumes and drinking that something unfortunate is going to happen to someone.
This was the case when a costume party full of medical professionals in Florida spilled out into the streets during a pub crawl.
A group of the party goers stopped at a local eatery when a doctor dressed as Captain America decided to make a few additions to his costume. He bought a burrito, shoved it down his tights, and proceeded to ask ladies in the restaurant to touch it. When they declined, he would remove the burrito and start groping them. This, by the way, must have been one resilient burrito. I can barely get one home without it spilling everywhere.
When the police arrived on the scene they could not differentiate the various costumed people, so they had to ask all the Captain Americas to exit the building to be interviewed.
The weirdest part is that there were that many Captain Americas present. To make things worse, he was caught trying to flush a joint down the toilet.
The burrito was later found in his boot and should probably be used for scientific research. They should make a space shuttle out of whatever this kind of burritos they're serving at this place.
Man Dressed as Winnie the Pooh Mugs People with the Help of 3 KidsYou ever have one of those days?
You know, the type of day when you wake up cranky and the only thing that will make you feel better is to dress up like Winnie the Pooh and mug someone?
Tokyo resident, Masayuki Ishikawa, sure did. He was accused of beating and taking over 18,000 yen (roughly $235, or approximately 120 jars of hunny) from two men while dressed as the beloved storybook character.
When asked why he did it, Ishikawa stated, "I felt annoyed and wanted to terrify them."
A more ridiculous fact, though, is that three kids helped him mug these people. Aged 15 to 16, they helped him terrify, assault, and rob innocent Japanese citizens. I mean, c'mon, if Winnie the Pooh asked you to help him mug someone, it's not like you wouldn't do it. You owe him.
I wonder if they made him touch his toes when they arrested him.
(Sidenote: yes, the picture you see above is an actual picture of Masayuki Ishikawa in the back of the cop car.)
Israeli Spider-Man Jumps on Tops of Cars, Swings Webs, Disrupts PeaceAs much as we don't like to admit it, there are certain criminals that we have to admire, even if they've done something absolutely idiotic to get to where they are today. And the worst thing this guy really did was disrupt the peace, escape from the hospital, and start throwing ropes/lassos at people in traffic, and then jumping on the tops of cars.
Why did he do this, you ask? Nobody knows. Not even him. He told police that after being hit by a car and being taken to the hospital, he woke up wearing the costume with absolutely no recollection of where it came from. So what did he do in his disoriented state?
He got up and fought crime as the costumed hero himself, though "fighting crime" most likely meant lashing out at cars that he, at the time, saw as his "nemeses."
The anonymous man was jumping on cars while swinging, what was described as, a homemade webline when the police got various calls to the traffic help hotline complaining about something that sounded unbelievable, until authorities showed up at the scene.
Spider-Man never gets along with the cops.
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