Tags: offbeat, christmas, videos, scary, evil, tradition, top 10, foreign christmas
The 10 Most Terrifying Traditional Christmas Legends
Molly Mahan You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blizten ... but do you recall the most terrifying Christmas characters of all? For some time now, Christmas has been a terrifying holiday masquerading as the "most wonderful time of the year." As much as we may love Santa Claus and his predecessors for shelling out presents to good boys and girls during the yuletide season, we mostly ignore that it's a reward system with traumatic consequences for a social contract none of us ever agreed to. Yet, Santa is the least offensive (aside from being the de facto overlord) of these characters as he only deals with those who end
up on his "Nice List". But what happens to those who end up on his Naughty List--they
get a lump of coal? Perhaps; in some traditions--ancient and modern--we bad boys and
girls don't get off so easy. Here we unveil some of the most scary and traumatizing
characters who have haunted the most wonderful time of year throughout the Ages.
up on his "Nice List". But what happens to those who end up on his Naughty List--they
get a lump of coal? Perhaps; in some traditions--ancient and modern--we bad boys and
girls don't get off so easy. Here we unveil some of the most scary and traumatizing
characters who have haunted the most wonderful time of year throughout the Ages.
- 10
Le Père Fouettard
Pere Fouettard is seen to this day during Christmas in Belgium and France. His name means "Whipping Father", so you can already guess how he brings holiday cheer.
The safeword is "Jingle Bells"
But that's not the scary part of this story, that's the happy part (as some BDSM aficionados may have already knew, in their heart of hearts).
As the story goes, Le Pere Fouettard began his life as an innkeeper, kidnapper, and murderer. In that order. One day while keeping his inn, three rich boys on their way to a religious boarding school stay at his inn. Recognizing their wealth, Le Pere, along with his wife, decides to capture and murder the children (by slitting their throats) to take their money. Because that somehow seemed like a better idea than ransoming them to their wealthier parents. While trying to make dead boy stew, Saint Nick shows up and resurrects the boys. Seeing his power, the innkeeper repents and becomes St. Nick's partner by becoming the official whipping boy of bad boys and girls. Because that made sense to the French in the 12th century. - 9
Gryla
One of the few non-Germanic characters on this list is the Gryla, who comes from Icelandic mythology and is a terrifying lady ogre whose preferred diet was naughty children. Because nothing says "Merry Christmas!" quite like being fed to a horrifying crone. According to Jon Arnason, Gryla is described thusly:“Grýla has three heads and three eyes in each head ... Horribly long, curved fingernails, icy blue eyes at the back of the head and horns like a goat, her ears dangle down to her shoulders and are attached to the nose in front. She has a beard on her chin that is like knotted yarn on a weave with tangles hanging from it, while her teeth are like burnt rocks in a grate.”
In 1746, a decree was issued prohibiting the use of Grýla and the Yule Lads, as they served no function other than to scare small children. This has lead to the crafting of a few songs which claim that she has died, however a few of them suggest that she could always return to the living, should the number of naughty children increase.
- 8
Werewolves
Yes, werewolves. Although we typically try to limit the lycanthropes to Halloween, B-movies, and erotic fiction, Werewolves have been a part of the Yuletide horror fest since the Middle Ages.
As you can see, they come in B-grade erotic holiday fiction as well!
According to The World Encyclopedia of Christmas, Olaus Magnus, a Swedish folklorist, wrote that werewolves gathered on Christmas night to “rage with wondrous ferocity against human beings, [attacking their homes and devouring the inhabitants]” in Prussia, Livonia, and Lithuania. But the Christmas-werewolf connection doesn't stop there.
In modernity, it has since been reduced, reused, and recycled to the claim that simply having the audacity to be born on Christmas Day is cause enough to make a person a werewolf, as well. The 1961 film The Curse of the Werewolf explains that being born on December 25th is mocking Jesus Christ and so you must be punished. Yeah, that Jesus; bringing the Christmas cheer by punishing not just a fetus for having the nerve to be born, but damning any who fall into his or her wake every year. What a diva. - 7
Perchten
The Perchten is the ultimate schizoid. A dual-gendered spirit who comes out during the 12 days of Christmas (that is, December 25-January 5). On one hand we have the female Schonperchten ("Beautiful Perchten") and on the other we have the male and uninspiringly--albeit aptly--named Schiachperchten ("Ugly Perchten"). The former is a giver of luck and gifts, while the other is an ugly beast who looks much like the Krampus and similarly related to the Devil, whom is the most ugly of the Schiachperchten. As can be expected, Schoneperchten gives treats to the good people of the world, while the Schiachperchten punishes the bad.
What I believe is most terrifying about this character of Christmas mythology is that if it passes you, you can never be too sure which side you'll be met with. On one hand you gave to the poor, on the other hand, you could have given more. - 6
Knecht Ruprecht
As you know, making sure all the children of the world get what's coming to them at the end of the year is quite an enterprise, which is no doubt why Santa has everyone from elves making toys for the good kids, to demons kidnapping the mean-spirited ones helping him out. But what about those kids who were neither particularly good, nor particularly bad? For them, the Germans (as always) give us Knech Ruprecht, also known as Farmhand Rupert. He more or less looks like a shepherd taken out of your neighborhood nativity who sports a long beard, brown cloak and a staff.
Basically his schtick is that he goes around asking kids if they can pray. If they can, they get some awesome gingerbread. If they can't, he gives them some useless junk, and if they refuse, he beats them with a bag of ashes. Like you do. So children better remember the "reason for the season" is the baby Jesus and not just the changes in the seasons, or else they'll either receive some crappy presents or get beaten with some ashes.
items 1 - 5 of 10
today on Ranker
start a list with results
close sorting window
Rank Name
use the search box to filter your list
leave a comment