The 10 Strangest Ancient/Outdated Sex Beliefs By Ian Tindell [18 more lists]

In the early 20th century, one "old wives' tale" went: if a woman sneezed after sex, she would expel the semen from her body and would not get pregnant. Well, beliefs were even weirder before we came upon something wonderful that we like to call "medical science". Here are 10 weird sex beliefs from a time when if you didn't know something about science, you'd just make it up.

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1

We're All Just God's Semen

3150 BC - 31 BC

"In the beginning, God created the universe. At first the earth was shapeless and covered in darkness, and God's spirit hovered over the waters. God said, "Let there be light." And there was light." And there was a bunch of other stuff too that culminated into a six day period of creation and a single day of rest. That's the Christian story of Creation.

Care to know about the ancient Egyptian story? That one's a bit simpler. You see Chaos, the God of creation, got a little frisky one day and decided to m********e. The result of the masturbation was the creation of the other Gods from his ejaculate. Since everything was started from that, we're all just God's semen.

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2

Putting Mercury in Your Urethra Cures Gonorrhea

The 1500s

According to some, the English ship of war, the Mary Rose, had an interesting means of combating the STD gonorrhea: injecting liquid mercury into the urethra.

As effective as this method sounds, it is not believed that the use of mercury, which is poisonous, ever cured a case of gonorrhea. Unless you count death as a cure. In that case yeah, it totally works.

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3

Premature Ejaculation Drains Your Life Force

770 BC - 222 BC

During the Chou Dynasty of China (770 BC - 222 BC), the adopted doctrine was Taoist (although Taoism was not a formal religion yet). According to this doctrine men and women were split up into the yin and the yang which was basically the life essence of a person. Women were said to possess a limitless supply of yin essence while men were said to have a limited supply of yang essence.

It was strictly believed, then, that men should never use up their yang without first getting plenty of yin. Translation? Men were expected to orgasm only AFTER their partner had orgasmed (and preferably multiple times thus obtaining more yin). If this was not adhered to then then what could be described as a man's life force would be drained from him until he eventually died.

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4

Masturbation is Forbidden...But Just For Men

770 BC - 222 BC

Back to this whole yin and yang thing...that also meant that masturbation by men was considered both unhealthy and forbidden. Females however, were allowed to engage in masturbation as freely as they wanted with one exception: no use of foreign objects, which was thought to injure the womb.

To top it off for male sexual repression and frustration (women masturbating all around them because of their tons of yin compared to the dangerously low levels of a man's yang) even having a wet dream was looked down upon and seen as an omen of poor health and again... impending death.

Maybe I'll just leave my yang alone.

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5

Having Sex With Strangers Makes You Fertile

10th Century BCE

In ancient Mesopotamia it was expected of all women to visit the Temple of Ishtar (the primary deity of the era) at least once in their lives, usually right after marriage. When there, the women were required to sit in the temple until a stranger came and threw a piece of silver in their lap and declared “I invite you in the name of Mylitta" (another name for Ishtar). Upon receiving the silver, the woman would leave the temple and have sex with the stranger, unable to refuse the offer, after which she could finally return home. This union was meant to represent Ishtar's relationship with Dumuzid and would bring fertility to the female.

Apparently, some of the uglier Messopotamian women would have to wait years before they would find a piece of silver in their laps. This must have been before the advent of alcohol.

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6

You Can Use Beaver Testicles as Contraception

The 1500s

In 16th century Canada, an interesting means of female contraception was devised: the t*******s of beavers were ground up and mixed with alcohol and then drunk. There are doubts as to whether this concoction ever prevented a single pregnancy, but one thing's for sure: it was a delicious drink.

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7

The Penis God Will Cure Your Shame!

758 BC ~ 100 BC

In ancient Rome, there was once a rather unique temple located in Velia. Like most temples, this one was built for the worship of a specific God. The God of this temple was called Mutunus Tutunus and he's notable because he possessed no face or body.

In fact, he was represented only by a penis with humongous t*******s. Depictions of the penis with the boulder-sized balls adorned the stones and walls of this temple in its heyday.

It is said that on her wedding day, a bride was supposed to straddle the picture of this penis with the crater t*******s so that she would be freed from the possible shame of sexual intercourse.

Hear that ladies? Any of you who feel shame about possibly having sex need only to sit on a picture of a penis with the t*******s the size of baby heads to overcome the impending guilt.

...My eyes are UP. HERE.

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8

Sex is Evil in Certain Times/Places/Days/States

400 AD ~ 1500

During Medieval Europe sex was forbidden, in a Christian sense, under the following conditions:

When one's wife was menstruating, pregnant, or nursing.

During Lent, Advent, Whitsun Week, or Easter week.

On feast days, fast days, Sunday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday.

During daylight.

If you were naked.

If you were in church.

Unless you were trying to produce a child.

Other than that, things were pretty liberal.

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9

The Penis Parade

750 BC ~ 500 BC???

The ancient Greeks didn't particularly care for their women too much (they were allowed to beat them for the refusal of a blow job amongst a number of other things) and were convinced that women were envious of their prized penises (the Greeks called dibbs, Freud).

You see, the Greeks really loved the penis and the power that they associated with it. Some took this love so far that they would parade the streets every year with large representations of penises (emphasis being on "the bigger, the better") being carried around in the name of Dionysus, the God of wine and ecstasy.

It would seem the Greek men ALSO had a slight penis envy.

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10

Cheating Helps You Understand the Universe

0 AD ~ 500 AD

The Tantric school of Hindu philosophy formed sometime between the first and sixth century, right around the time the Kama Sutra was being written. Part of this philosophical system was the idea that sex could be used as a means of spiritual enlightenment.

Some of the more strict followers of this system of thought took it a step further and actively broke sexual taboos (such as extramarital sex) to master human nature and achieve greater understanding of the universe as well as their soul. So in essence, cheating on their spouses allowed them to come closer to truly seeing their own nature.

So, all you guys/gals in search of an excuse, there's another one.

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