You Can Use Beaver Testicles as ContraceptionThe 1500s
In 16th century Canada, an interesting means of female contraception was devised: the t*******s of beavers were ground up and mixed with alcohol and then drunk. There are doubts as to whether this concoction ever prevented a single pregnancy, but one thing's for sure: it was a delicious drink.
The Penis God Will Cure Your Shame!758 BC ~ 100 BC
In ancient Rome, there was once a rather unique temple located in Velia. Like most temples, this one was built for the worship of a specific God. The God of this temple was called Mutunus Tutunus and he's notable because he possessed no face or body.
In fact, he was represented only by a penis with humongous t*******s. Depictions of the penis with the boulder-sized balls adorned the stones and walls of this temple in its heyday.
It is said that on her wedding day, a bride was supposed to straddle the picture of this penis with the crater t*******s so that she would be freed from the possible shame of sexual intercourse.
Hear that ladies? Any of you who feel shame about possibly having sex need only to sit on a picture of a penis with the t*******s the size of baby heads to overcome the impending guilt.
...My eyes are UP. HERE.
Sex is Evil in Certain Times/Places/Days/States400 AD ~ 1500
During Medieval Europe sex was forbidden, in a Christian sense, under the following conditions:
When one's wife was menstruating, pregnant, or nursing.
During Lent, Advent, Whitsun Week, or Easter week.
On feast days, fast days, Sunday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday.
If you were naked.
If you were in church.
Unless you were trying to produce a child.
Other than that, things were pretty liberal.
The Penis Parade750 BC ~ 500 BC???
The ancient Greeks didn't particularly care for their women too much (they were allowed to beat them for the refusal of a blow job amongst a number of other things) and were convinced that women were envious of their prized penises (the Greeks called dibbs, Freud).
You see, the Greeks really loved the penis and the power that they associated with it. Some took this love so far that they would parade the streets every year with large representations of penises (emphasis being on "the bigger, the better") being carried around in the name of Dionysus, the God of wine and ecstasy.
It would seem the Greek men ALSO had a slight penis envy.
Cheating Helps You Understand the Universe0 AD ~ 500 AD
The Tantric school of Hindu philosophy formed sometime between the first and sixth century, right around the time the Kama Sutra was being written. Part of this philosophical system was the idea that sex could be used as a means of spiritual enlightenment.
Some of the more strict followers of this system of thought took it a step further and actively broke sexual taboos (such as extramarital sex) to master human nature and achieve greater understanding of the universe as well as their soul. So in essence, cheating on their spouses allowed them to come closer to truly seeing their own nature.
So, all you guys/gals in search of an excuse, there's another one.
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