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The 10 Vampire Movies That Don't Suck Films

The 10 Vampire Movies That Don't Suck

By litgoddess | El Segundo
Given that an entire generation of tweens and teens alike are currently spending their hard earned allowances on fake fangs and even faker emotions, let us pay tribute to the true blood-sucking pioneers who bled the way for the Cullen clan. In this list, it's good to suck.
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Category: Films
Modified: 2009-11-05 11:35:25.0
  • Dracula: Dead and Loving It
    Dracula: Dead and Loving It The 10 Vampire Movies That Don't Suck Film
    "She's alive?"

    "She's Nosferatu."

    "She's Italian?'

    For those of us who choose not to take our vampire orgies too seriously, this campy Mel Brooks gem pokes fun at every vampire element in existence. Released in 1995 and starring Leslie Nielsen, it's a good idea to first watch the real Bram Stoker visual delight and then follow it up with this farce. For those who aren't sure it's their cup of Type O, rest assured there's some pretty good cleavage in 3 scenes of the film.
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  • Vampire Hunter D
    Vampire Hunter D The 10 Vampire Movies That Don't Suck Film
    Released in 2000, "Vampire Hunter D" is a dark tale based on a 20 volume series first published in 1983. The story takes place in 12,090 AD and vampires are the elite class of society. I can't think of a better world to live in. The artwork in this movie is somewhere between flickering lights in darkened hallways and the visions you see just between sleeping and waking. I'd watch this movie just for the artwork alone, let alone the plot.
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  • 30 Days of Night
    30 Days of Night The 10 Vampire Movies That Don't Suck Film
    Based on the comic book mini-series, "30 Days of Night" truly is one effective means of killing the tourist industry in Alaska. 30 days w/o sunlight - vampires vs humans. It doesn't take a genius to figure out how this will turn out. Danny Huston kicks ass as a remorseless vampire and keeps the film from centering on creamy, dreamy Josh Hartnett. Interesting bit of trivia: the black eyes featured on the vampires were achieved by an enlarged contact lens, which gave everyone who wore them pink-eye for weeks. Yeah. I watch movies with the commentary turned on. So what?
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  • Bram Stoker's Dracula
    Bram Stoker's Dracula The 10 Vampire Movies That Don't Suck Film
    Visually one of the coolest vampire movies in history, "Dracula" made Gary Oldman a badass long before he became Sirius Black. Released in 1992, it became the favorite of today's 30-something crowd. Everyone in Jr High bought plastic fangs and attended renaissance faires with gusto. Interesting bit of trivia: to get in the crying mood, Gary Oldman would gaze at pictures of his children before each take. All together now: awwww
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  • Interview with the Vampire
    Interview with the Vampire The 10 Vampire Movies That Don't Suck Film
    The idea of growing old emotionally and mentally, yet always remaining 10 years old, while bunking with Brad Pitt would be enough to make me want to rip out my fangs and bleed to death. Released in 1994, this is one movie I actually enjoyed because Tom Cruise gets to play a real creep.....I mean even creepier than he is in real life.

    Then again, this COULD be art imitating life....Cruise marries someone 20 years his junior, who will never tell him no and has lost half her life force since she's known him....wait, that's life imitating art.

    Where was I? Oh, yes...anyway, I enjoy this film because you often forget that the characters are vampires. I mean the movie actually has a story line....Jesus, I need to watch this again.
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  • The Lost Boys
    The Lost Boys The 10 Vampire Movies That Don't Suck Film
    Released in 1987, when I was too busy watching "Flight of the Navigator", this glorious "we are young, we are warriors" battle-cry of the young and oppressed came to the big screen.

    Starring the who's who of 80's era wet dreams for women and gay men, this movie only succeeded in 1 thing: ruining Chinese food for me for life.
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  • From Dusk till Dawn
    From Dusk till Dawn The 10 Vampire Movies That Don't Suck Film
    Let's face it...the only reason anyone watches this movie is so they can see Salma Hayek get freaky with a snake. Released in 1996, this movie achieves many things, most notably to never enter a bordello without a condom and second to never go too long between bathroom cleanings.
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  • Shadow of the Vampire
    Shadow of the Vampire The 10 Vampire Movies That Don't Suck Film
    Eat the script girl later, Willem, or eat this girl right here and now. Either way, the performance is worth rewinding over and over and over again. Released in 2000, this gem of a movie is based on the work of Max Schreck while he performed in "Nosferatu." Rumors abounded that Schreck really was a vampire...that he never broke character...that he actually drank blood during production. But one rumor that actually was fact, was that Willem Dafoe never once broke character during the entire production. Imagine asking that man what he wants from the catering truck.
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  • Vampyros Lesbos
    Vampyros Lesbos The 10 Vampire Movies That Don't Suck Film
    Vampires. Lesbians. Sex. At this point, I really doubt you care when it was released (for the record, 1971).
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  • Nosferatu
    Nosferatu The 10 Vampire Movies That Don't Suck Film
    The Granddaddy of them all. The very FIRST vampire movie on the big screen. Directed by F.W. Murnau, this movie was made in Germany and starred the great Max Schreck as Count Orlok. Completely silent and shot in black & white, "Nosferatu" is held afloat completely by Schreck, with his unnaturally large eyes and subtle, creepy manner. While the film didn't win any awards, it did inspire another Oscar-worthy performance by another King of Creep: Willem Dafoe in "Shadow of the Vampire."
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48 Comments


  by anonymous at September 01, 2010 03:52
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by TheDude at August 12, 2010 12:31
Love At First Bite

by clh at May 02, 2010 00:31
You forgot "BLADE"

  by anonymous at June 04, 2010 14:00
Did you see the same blade as the rest of the world?

by porobot at March 04, 2010 04:06
actualy i think this list proves , that all vampire movies sux.

  by anonymous at March 03, 2010 10:33
I really don't think you're justified to make a list about vampire movies if there are so many vampire movies that you haven't seen. Especially such big ones as Let the Right One In and Fright Night. Interview with the Vampire sucked (not in a good way) and there really are umpteen other options that could have gone on this list. What about The Hunger or Night Watch or Day Watch?!

by JackMack at June 28, 2010 18:30
NEAR DARK.

by Derk at February 26, 2010 13:49
NEAR DARK is not on the list? If you haven't seen NEAR DARK, it is badass. Made back in the days before vampires went gay. It was nice to NOT see Underworld, which is less a vampire movie than a bad Matrix rip-off.

  by anonymous at January 30, 2010 21:36
blarrrrrrrrr blarrrrrrrrrrrrrr i gotta suck ur blood blarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr lol no uh really i just GOTTA so feed me im hungary bitchesssssssssss lol

by litgoddess at January 06, 2010 00:50
@ anonymous: I finally watched "Let The Right One In" tonight and I agree, it's a good movie. However, it was utterly ruined by the horrific job of dubbing that they did. Removing the Swedish script and inserting shitty American voices just killed what could have been an intense cinematic experience. @ Me and Mrs Jones: I put "Interview with the Vampire" in lieu of the "Twilight" craze, simply because I needed 10 and couldn't find anything else I'd already seen. Don't like it? Make your own. :)

by Me and Mrs Jones at December 16, 2009 09:27
You left off "fearless vampire killers" but put in "interview with the vampire"? which pretty much sucks balls. Just leaving twilight off the list dont make this funny, good going and this list is popular?

  by anonymous at December 11, 2009 07:30
You have to add Let The Right One In

by Jamesistheman at December 08, 2009 10:35
K. I havent seen Twilight...either one. But arent they making just a ton of money in the box office. So my question is where are those movies on this list. Especially in front of Interview with the Vampire, that movie sucked

  by anonymous at December 03, 2009 06:07
great list

  by anonymous at February 22, 2010 06:17
yes

  by anonymous at November 20, 2009 16:36
A list of vampire movies without Fright Night? Ridiculous!

by Cody at May 02, 2010 02:51
I agree. This list sucks huge dick. People that say "what about Blade?" or "Underworld" or all that shit are morons. Vampires aren't sword wielding martial artists or gun toting badasses....THEY'RE FUCKING VAMPIRES AND THATS WHY THEY ARE BADASS WITHOUT ALL THAT SHIT!. Where is John Carpenter's Vampires (1 of course) on this list? Where is Bordello of Blood (corny yes, but so was fright night and those were both great vampire movies"

by litgoddess at January 06, 2010 00:51
My bad. Yet another one I haven't seen - it's been added to the NetFlix que - thanks for the tip!

  by anonymous at December 03, 2009 06:02
yes

by kristen1985 at November 17, 2009 11:19
Im sorry but Twilight has to be on this list. I just drove through Westwood this Sunday and there is a line about three blocks of people that are camping out there waiting for the premiere of the new Twilight. Oh ya the premiere isn't until Friday!!

by litgoddess at January 06, 2010 00:51
Popularity doesn't make something good - it just makes it popular. Ergo, it doesn't make the list. REAL vampires don't sparkle.

by Leo317 at November 12, 2009 20:47
For those reading this: Twilight author Stephanie Meyer wasn't even fully aware of the vampire myths and legends before writing about 'vampires'. They are vampires by name only. Bravo for not including Twilight on this list.

by anonymous at November 08, 2009 04:44
A little note about 'Vamp Hunter D': the first movie that was released sucks, trust me. The second, 'Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust', is hopefully the one you are referring to on this list. And btw, as long as we're talking about vampire anime, what about 'Helsing' or 'Helsing Ultimate'?

by kreiyu at November 16, 2009 09:57
The first Vampire Hunter D did not suck and I'm sure he is referring to the second movie because the first one came out 1985.

  by anonymous at February 22, 2010 06:19
yes i think so

by litgoddess at January 06, 2010 00:52
Correct. And "he" is actually a "she"...;)

by anon at November 05, 2009 19:40
GAH! No Fright Night?!!?!?

by when you see it at November 05, 2009 16:39
As much as I hoped "Interview with the Vampire" wouldn't suck... it did.

by Random guy at October 23, 2009 10:01
No mention of "Lesbian Vampire Killers"? I'm disappointed. It's worth a laugh or two and a high five if among boys. It's certainly better than Twilight

by litgoddess at October 23, 2009 11:04
that's diff from Vampyres Lesbos?

by klh at December 01, 2009 06:19
Completely different films; LVK is comedy released this year

  by anonymous at October 18, 2009 19:18
what about the underworld series?

by litgoddess at October 18, 2009 19:23
Agreed. Hmmm...I liked the 3rd installment. Your preference?

by trollin' at October 16, 2009 11:29
hey guise, where's Twilight?

by litgoddess at October 16, 2009 11:34
glittery vampires without fangs? yeah...um NO, that doesn't belong on here.

by Vince Hans at September 20, 2009 14:40
Great list! I'd probably include "Love At First Bite" Love the joke you included with Dead And Loving It

by jon at September 11, 2009 15:48
Definitely need to watch 'Let the Right One In'. Simply fantastic, a must for any vampire fan.

by mariah at September 11, 2009 12:27
omg you for got twilight lolz!!!!!! and i didnt see 30 days of night yet...i have it but i didnt know it vampire movie..you forgot queen of the dammed..awesome movie i love lestat! and lost boys and interview w/ a vampire was good!!!!!

by litgoddess at September 11, 2009 12:41
I deliberately omitted "Twilight" from the list, as I tend to favor "real" vampire movies. While I did list "Dracula: Dead & Loving It" and we all know it's not a real vampire movie, it's a comedy classic from a classic director (Mel Brooks). I couldn't bring myself to include "Twilight" simply because it wasn't what I'd label a pure vampire movie. "Queen of the Damned" IS a good movie, I agree with you on that. I chose not to include it for the same reason I didn't include the "Blade" trinity: I prefer vampire movies that are either unique or are immersed in the history or culture of the vampire. There aren't too many present-day vampire movies that I like. I should probably compile a second list.

by Rob at September 12, 2009 09:44
"Queen of the Damned" may be a good movie if you haven't read "The Vampire Lestat" and "The Queen of the Damned" books. It's painful seeing two 400-500 page books of beautiful imagery and character development being crammed into an hour and a half movie. There's a reason Anne Rice didn't write the screenplay like she did for "Interview With A Vampire".

by Rob at September 11, 2009 08:47
Let The Right One In is one of the best vampire movies ever made. The writer of this article needs to watch it ASAP and add it to the list.

by litgoddess at September 11, 2009 12:51
Just to let you know I AM taking your advice. I just watched the trailer for this movie and it freaked me out. I am definitely renting this movie tonight and as soon as I finish it, it's going on the list. Which movie do you think should be kicked OFF the list?

by Rob at September 12, 2009 09:48
Good. I can't say which movie should be kicked off though, as I haven't seen them all. While I absolutely loved "Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust", I never liked the original film.

by litgoddess at September 11, 2009 10:44
will do!

by Chrissy at July 29, 2009 21:05
Saw #1 Dracula: Dead and Loving it and #10 Nosferatu with a friend. Loved both movies such contrast but Dracula: Dead and Loving it kept pretty much with the story line of the original.

by Chris cdc at July 23, 2009 14:13
Thank you so much for leaving off the fake crappy glittering vamps the tweens are so in love with now a days and putting up the true vamp movies!! for once some one got the list right!

by Nanashi Okashi at July 23, 2009 02:03
YES!!! Interview and VHD were especially my favorite. I am partial to Queen of The Damned (I'm an Aaliyah fan) but the list does say "Vampire Movies that DON'T Suck." LOL. Maybe Blade should come in at #11. I loves me some Wesley Snipes... :)
 

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