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The 10 Vampire Movies That Don't Suck

Given that an entire generation of tweens and teens alike are currently spending their hard earned allowances on fake fangs and even faker emotions, let us pay tribute to the true blood-sucking pioneers who bled the way for the Cullen clan. In this list, it's good to suck.

To see the movies that didn't make this list, check out the Complete List of Vampire Movies. For now, though, explore this list of 10 high quality vampire films.

The 10 Vampire Movies That Don't Suck Films
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    "She's alive?"

    "She's Nosferatu."

    "She's Italian?'

    For those of us who choose not to take our vampire orgies too seriously, this campy Mel Brooks gem pokes fun at every vampire element in existence. Released in 1995 and starring Leslie Nielsen, it's a good idea to first watch the real Bram Stoker visual delight and then follow it up with this farce. For those who aren't sure it's their cup of Type O, rest assured there's some pretty good cleavage in 3 scenes of the film.

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    An adorable timeless story about awkward adolescence and young love, except one party is a bullied 12 year-old geek with a weird haircut and the other is a mysterious and stinky ageless vampire. Full of snow, blood, fire, brimstone, and plenty of "aww" moments, this Swedish movie (officially Låt den rätte komma in) was remade in English in 2010 starring a very respectable Chloe Moretz.

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    Released in 2000, "Vampire Hunter D" is a dark tale based on a 20 volume series first published in 1983. The story takes place in 12,090 AD and vampires are the elite class of society. I can't think of a better world to live in. The artwork in this movie is somewhere between flickering lights in darkened hallways and the visions you see just between sleeping and waking. I'd watch this movie just for the artwork alone, let alone the plot.

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    Based on the comic book mini-series, "30 Days of Night" truly is one effective means of killing the tourist industry in Alaska. 30 days w/o sunlight - vampires vs humans. It doesn't take a genius to figure out how this will turn out. Danny Huston kicks ass as a remorseless vampire and keeps the film from centering on creamy, dreamy Josh Hartnett. Interesting bit of trivia: the black eyes featured on the vampires were achieved by an enlarged contact lens, which gave everyone who wore them pink-eye for weeks. Yeah. I watch movies with the commentary turned on. So what?

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    Visually one of the coolest vampire movies in history, "Dracula" made Gary Oldman a badass long before he became Sirius Black. Released in 1992, it became the favorite of today's 30-something crowd. Everyone in Jr High bought plastic fangs and attended renaissance faires with gusto. Interesting bit of trivia: to get in the crying mood, Gary Oldman would gaze at pictures of his children before each take. All together now: awwww

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    The idea of growing old emotionally and mentally, yet always remaining 10 years old, while bunking with Brad Pitt would be enough to make me want to rip out my fangs and bleed to death. Released in 1994, this is one movie I actually enjoyed because Tom Cruise gets to play a real creep.....I mean even creepier than he is in real life.

    Then again, this COULD be art imitating life....Cruise marries someone 20 years his junior, who will never tell him no and has lost half her life force since she's known him....wait, that's life imitating art.

    Where was I? Oh, yes...anyway, I enjoy this film because you often forget that the characters are vampires. I mean the movie actually has a story line....Jesus, I need to watch this again.

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    Released in 1987, when I was too busy watching "Flight of the Navigator", this glorious "we are young, we are warriors" battle-cry of the young and oppressed came to the big screen.

    Starring the who's who of 80's era wet dreams for women and gay men, this movie only succeeded in 1 thing: ruining Chinese food for me for life.

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    Eat the script girl later, Willem, or eat this girl right here and now. Either way, the performance is worth rewinding over and over and over again. Released in 2000, this gem of a movie is based on the work of Max Schreck while he performed in "Nosferatu." Rumors abounded that Schreck really was a vampire...that he never broke character...that he actually drank blood during production. But one rumor that actually was fact, was that Willem Dafoe never once broke character during the entire production. Imagine asking that man what he wants from the catering truck.

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    Vampires. Lesbians. Sex. At this point, I really doubt you care when it was released (for the record, 1971).

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    The Granddaddy of them all. The very FIRST vampire movie on the big screen. Directed by F.W. Murnau, this movie was made in Germany and starred the great Max Schreck as Count Orlok. Completely silent and shot in black & white, "Nosferatu" is held afloat completely by Schreck, with his unnaturally large eyes and subtle, creepy manner. While the film didn't win any awards, it did inspire another Oscar-worthy performance by another King of Creep: Willem Dafoe in "Shadow of the Vampire."

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