The "I Know I'm Sexy" Drunk
We've all been here. Drinking that liquid courage somehow turns everyone into an attractive movie star and increases their self-esteem 10-fold to delusional proportions.
So, why not show everyone what you've got because there is NO WAY you're not getting laid tonight! Right?!
Drunk and Passed Out
This kind of drunk succumbs to the sandman before everybody else and passes out. Serene and occasionally nauseous, they're generally the quieter of the drunks, keeping their mouth firmly closed to keep the premature vomit down. Try as they might, they just can't always keep up with the rest - when their body tells them to shut down, they shut down and before you know it are sprawled unconscious in the gutter. There is nothing they can do about it. But there is EVERYTHING their friends can do to ensure maximum humiliation. Beware the permanent marker.
The "I Think Everything Is Funny'" Drunk
Everything is funny when you're a laugh-y drunk. Everything. A simple 'Pass me a cup' or 'Wow, you're drunk' from a fellow human being suddenly has the comedic effect of an entire Will Farrell movie. Just ask the giggly girl in this video.
The "I Think I Can Dance" Drunk
Similar to the "I think I'm sexy" drunk, this drunk exudes (unfounded) confidence. This kind of drunk has the blood (alcohol level) of a dancer (homeless guy) running through their veins and they will stop at NOTHING to show you the skills they were born with. Beware extended arms and pointed elbows.
The "I Want To Kick Everyone's Ass" Drunk
There is always that one drunk that feels the need to exert a new found strength that seems to course through their body on a night out. The most minor of offences, such as the accidental brushing up against them can start World War III bar-style with these drunks. These guys need a protective possy around them at all times to keep them safe - it doesn't matter how high your blood alcohol level is, no man can take on an entire gang of rugby players by themselves. Remain cautious at all times.
"I'm Not Drunk, I Can Still Have One More Drink"
Ah, the Relentless Drunk. This kind of drunk has had already had about 7 strong drinks, but is certain he or she can do a few more. Why? Because despite how drunk they are, their sorrows are still well-afloat and just about one or two more drinks will drown them (in vomit). Not necessarily the most cheerful of drinking companions, but always one who is up for the next round of Ring of Fire.
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