Nights out on the town can give you the best time of your life, or lead you to making the biggest mistake you've ever made - sometimes the two are one and the same thing. Whether they get up on stage and sing as if they're the next Maria Carey, or get so drunk that walking becomes a serious challenge, there are many distinct kinds of drunk people, each with their own unique charm.
If you've ever been really, really drunk (and we know you have), you're well aware of which type of drunk you are. Have a look through the list and find which of the 11 you are. If you don't think you could possibly be one of these kinds of drunks, you certainly have friends who are. This list will either bring back a lot of memories or remind you of your craziest friends. Bottoms up!
The "I Know I'm Sexy" Drunk
We've all been here. Drinking that liquid courage somehow turns everyone into an attractive movie star and increases their self-esteem 10-fold to delusional proportions.
So, why not show everyone what you've got because there is NO WAY you're not getting laid tonight! Right?!
Drunk and Passed Out
This kind of drunk succumbs to the sandman before everybody else and passes out. Serene and occasionally nauseous, they're generally the quieter of the drunks, keeping their mouth firmly closed to keep the premature vomit down. Try as they might, they just can't always keep up with the rest - when their body tells them to shut down, they shut down and before you know it are sprawled unconscious in the gutter. There is nothing they can do about it. But there is EVERYTHING their friends can do to ensure maximum humiliation. Beware the permanent marker.
The "I Think Everything Is Funny'" Drunk
Everything is funny when you're a laugh-y drunk. Everything. A simple 'Pass me a cup' or 'Wow, you're drunk' from a fellow human being suddenly has the comedic effect of an entire Will Farrell movie. Just ask the giggly girl in this video.
The "I Think I Can Dance" Drunk
Similar to the "I think I'm sexy" drunk, this drunk exudes (unfounded) confidence. This kind of drunk has the blood (alcohol level) of a dancer (homeless guy) running through their veins and they will stop at NOTHING to show you the skills they were born with. Beware extended arms and pointed elbows.
The "I Want To Kick Everyone's Ass" Drunk
This guy just really had a night.
"I'm Not Drunk, I Can Still Have One More Drink"
Ah, the Relentless Drunk. This kind of drunk has had already had about 7 strong drinks, but is certain he or she can do a few more. Why? Because despite how drunk they are, their sorrows are still well-afloat and just about one or two more drinks will drown them (in vomit). Not necessarily the most cheerful of drinking companions, but always one who is up for the next round of Ring of Fire.
Throwing Up Drunk - Not The Prettiest Thing
We've all DEFINITELY been there. A night can be going perfectly well until that wave hits. Suddenly, we know that we have just gone that one sip over our limit and we need a bathroom RIGHT. NOW. Before we know it, that white porcelain bowl becomes our best friend, our teddy bear, and our pillow for the forseeable future.
Skip to 1:50, where everyone gets ready for the explosion and the girl, too nauseous to even move, just manages to let it go off the bed. According to the guy filming it, her mom is going to kill her.
The "jGG &fcC@ j" Drunk
This drunk has about the same level of communication than Hodor from Game of Thrones. Unable to string together a single comprehensive sentence, they usually garble a series of inarticulate sounds while the rest of you watch on in frustrated, yet amused silence. If you're lucky, they tire quickly and will resort to simple smiles and nods of the head.