The 11 Different Kinds of Drunk People People

The 11 Different Kinds of Drunk People

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This is a list of every kind of public drunk, from drunk and passed out to drunk and puking. Drinking brings out the worst and the best in people. It could contribute to the best times of your life or the biggest mistakes (often in the same night).

We have all either run into or been one of these drunks at some point. This list will either bring back a lot of memories or remind you of ones you've lost.
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  1. 1

    The "I Know I'm Sexy" Drunk

    This is #1 because everyone has been this kind of drunk.

    Drinking that liquid courage somehow makes everyone's fat rolls disappear, which increases their self-esteem 10-fold to delusional, and likely unrealistic, proportions.

    That hairy mole on their face vanishes, the fact that their size XXL shirt makes them look like a sausage goes out the window, and their life, despite every reasonable factor to the contrary, is awesome.

    They are now a golden God (or Goddess).

    So, why not show everyone what they've got because there is NO WAY they're not getting laid today! Why? Because they remembered to wear pants!

  2. 2

    Drunk and Passed Out

    This kind of drunk succumbs to the sandman before anybody else and passes out; serene, occasionally nauseous, and completely vulnerable to their friends' God-given right to f**k with them.

    When your body says pass out, you pass out! There is nothing you can do about it. But there is EVERYTHING your friends can do to humiliate you.

  3. 3

    The "I Think Everything Is Funny'" Drunk

    Everything is funny when you're a laugh-y drunk. Just ask the probably now-pregnant and undoubtedly very easy girl in this video.

  4. 4

    The "I Think I Can Dance" Drunk

    Similar to the "I think I'm sexy" drunk, this drunk exudes (unfounded) confidence.

    This kind of drunk has the blood (alcohol level) of a dancer (homeless guy) running through their veins and they will stop at NOTHING to show you the skills they were born with.

    Also, it's probably not a good idea to dance when the whole room is spinning unless you're Jackie Chan or unless someone has a video camera or camera phone handy.

  5. 5

    The "I Want To Kick Everyone's Ass" Drunk

    We all get stupid when we're pissed, faced or piss-faced, but there is always that drunk that feels the need to start some some serious guff (yes, I said "guff) with everyone and anyone that looks at him (or her) wrong.

    Why? Most likely because they're insecure.

    Or a Karate master.

    Or (apparently) Russian (video).

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