The 11 Most Inappropriate Kids' Toys Of All Time Anything

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The 11 Most Inappropriate Kids' Toys Of All Time

IHateEverything IHateEverything Power
Ranker 297,197 views 11 items 125 voters
Toy developers have to come up with enough ideas every day to quench the unrelenting need of kids to have more "stuff". So it's understandable that their ideas can't all be winners, but these toys are worlds below the realm of "bad idea" of the "what the hell were you thinking" variety. Here are 11 horribly offensive and bad toys for kids that make us second guess the entire children's toy industry -- and their therapists.
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    Oozinator

    Um, wow. The Ooozinator from Super Soaker really outdid itself, as a toy.

    C'mon, in the 90's we all knew exactly what the Super Soaker looked like in general: you'd have to pump the thing about 30 times before you could get out a solid enough stream to even reach the person nearest by. The harder, more often and faster you pumped, the more water would come out. Fine, we can live with that. But the change in the water's consistency really brought this to a whole new level.

    The product itself is only a half terrible idea, but the commercial where we see this thing in action really sealed the deal.

    As if there wasn't enough phallic insinuation woven throughout, the last second of the ad proudly states "major pumping required".
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    Baby Wee-Wee

    From a not-so-innocent time called the "90's" comes Baby Wee Wee. A toy that pees for your children. Scratch that, an ANATOMICALLY CORRECT toy that pees for your children.

    The reveal of the toy's main function in this commercial really sold us on how insanely graphic the toy really is.

    People may joke about Ken not having anything downstairs, but thanks to this horrible toy, we can see that it's better that no clothing-optional children's toy is anatomically correct. It just looks creepy, and the thought that you're buying a toy to do nothing but pee all over the place just adds insult to injury. We may need therapy after this commercial.
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    Inflatable Slide

    There are more than one of these inflatable products floating around, and even more videos of kids coming out of these contraptions that look a little bit phallic. But the red color of this one was just too much. Way too much. And the fact that the entire structure is phallic and extremely long, well, pretty much put the nail in the coffin that yes: our children are this inflatable structure's love juices.

    Depending on your familiarity with human anatomy, you may imagine more than a few parts that this looks like: take your pick because there is no right answer. The only way this product could be any worse is if it was a slip and slide with water from the next item...
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    Elmo Loves Balls

    We apologize for the inclusion of hosted videos on this list (there are only two), so please just fast forward to 00:45 to see this toy in action.

    The toy: Elmo's World "Guess What?" Elmo. Other than teaching kids the joys of redundancy, this toy talks about a whole bunch of things. BUt always on different days. Here are the things that he talks about!

    1. Bugs
    2. Hats
    3. Shoes
    4. Bananas
    5. Fish
    6. Birthday Cakes
    7. Balls

    Wait, what as that last one? Was that "balls"? Oh God, really? 00:45 to hear Elmo talk endlessly, innocently and disturbingly about "balls".
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    Lion King Toy

    This (probably) McDonald's Rafiki toy is meant to mirror and recreate that inspiring, beautiful and memorable moment from the Disney classic The Lion King where Rafiki (the baboon/monkey/wise-man) raises Simba over his head to show the entire kingdom their new prince and f*ture king.

    The toy has been made to allow Rafiki to hold Simba just a liiiiittle too far down. So far down that this becomes really, really disturbing.

items 1 - 5 of 11

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  1. Thaddeus Mechanic
    The 11 Most Inappropriate Kids' Toys Of All Time at 10/04/2012 1:30 PM
    Alright fail toys.
  2. Dane Castellow
    The 11 Most Inappropriate Kids' Toys Of All Time at 9/21/2012 8:30 AM
    Excellent toy fails, mandude.
  3. Leena Emler
    The 11 Most Inappropriate Kids' Toys Of All Time at 5/30/2012 8:36 AM
    Excellent inappropriate children's toys, eh?
  4. Shakia Horsford
    The 11 Most Inappropriate Kids' Toys Of All Time at 5/30/2012 8:36 AM
    Excellent bad toys, brother.
  5. shanoxide@gmail.com
    The 11 Most Inappropriate Kids' Toys Of All Time at 2/20/2012 5:53 PM
    all u adults need to find something better to do with ur time instead of turning childrens games into dirty things.i am a parent and i have used many of these toys growing up also.children dont see things as u perverted adults do.the bucket of balls game was an all time favorite at childrens partys.i could go on forever on the toys and how ur perverted mind has turned them into way more then they were the wolverine toy was printed b4 the spigot was put in and it was the best location for it so.,as adults grow up children want a toy thats fun and keeps them busy.the 50cent turtle i agree with but out of the 11 i saw the other 10 were jus bored adults lookin to try and be somebody by makin a fuss outta nothing.and fyi i heard box not sex!!!
  6. Hope
    "X", As In The Last Sound In... at 2/10/2012 7:53 AM
    I definitely heard "BOX" the first time, and every time I watched the little video, so......
  7. cathywalker023
    The 11 Most Inappropriate Kids' Toys Of All Time at 8/01/2011 4:32 AM
    When I was a child, I love playing
    Toys alone, I never enjoy sharing it with others...But now I realize...that it would be more fun if I give myself a chance to play with others... :(
  8. cathywalker023
    The 11 Most Inappropriate Kids' Toys Of All Time at 8/01/2011 4:31 AM
    When I was a child, I love playing
    Toys alone, I never enjoy sharing it with others...But now I realize...that it would be more fun if I give myself a chance to play with others... :(
  9. tory
    The 11 Most Inappropriate Kids' Toys Of All Time at 4/01/2011 9:13 PM
    that is disgusting, what are they trying to teach these kids?? but my bigger concern is that if these people think that this is 'appropiate' for kids to be playing with. how far will they actually go with the next toy they make?? for all we know it could be barbie and ken having sex.....it's extremly inappropriate, and needs to stop now before it gets more out of control!!!!
  10. Tater Salad
    The 11 Most Inappropriate Kids' Toys Of All Time at 3/26/2011 2:34 PM
    Wow...
  11. Luigi Monterosso
    Inflatable Slide at 10/22/2010 1:19 PM
    might as well dress the kids up in sperm costumes.
  12. someone
    "X", As In The Last Sound In... at 10/07/2010 12:45 AM
    my daughter has a toy that the way is sounds and the way its spelled are TWO different words... I thought I was just hearing something but a buddy said he heard it say F*G then spell B-A-G too!
  13. Dante
    Elmo Loves Balls at 9/30/2010 8:38 AM
    Elmo loves NUTS! Wait, same thing, same inappropriateness...
    Elmo loves GUNS! A more accurate depiction of the American demographic.
  14. KaKwok
    The 11 Most Inappropriate Kids' Toys Of All Time at 9/30/2010 5:14 AM
    That Wolverine thing, reminds me of the scene outta Airplane with Otto
  15. Zelenya
    Mr. Bucket at 8/29/2010 9:35 PM
    you know it's not that bad until you hear the song xD
  16. Sparkle
    The 11 Most Inappropriate Kids' Toys Of All Time at 8/10/2010 9:50 AM
    Oh god, I had one of those Baby Wee Wee dolls when I was a kid, or at least remember the adverts :x
  17. Anna
    Mr. Bucket at 8/08/2010 12:17 PM
    It doesn't look inappropriate at all.. You're just a f**king pervert.
    1. IHateEverything
      Mr. Bucket at 8/08/2010 4:28 PM
      And you sound like a c**t with no sense of humor; I guess we're even.
  18. Samuel L. Jackson
    Elmo Loves Balls at 7/06/2010 1:57 PM
    worse? um, Elmo loves t*******s?
  19. TotesMagotes
    The 11 Most Inappropriate Kids' Toys Of All Time at 5/10/2010 6:36 PM
    baby wee wee. hahah i literally laughed out loud. definitely an inappropriate toy for a child.
  20. Anonymous
    How Wet Will You Get? at 5/08/2010 5:37 AM
    cool
  21. Anonymous
    The 11 Most Inappropriate Kids' Toys Of All Time at 5/08/2010 1:02 AM
    god
  22. Anonymous
    The 11 Most Inappropriate Kids' Toys Of All Time at 5/08/2010 12:59 AM
    good
    1. Anonymous
      The 11 Most Inappropriate Kids' Toys Of All Time at 5/08/2010 1:01 AM
      yes
  23. crzygirl
    The 11 Most Inappropriate Kids' Toys Of All Time at 5/03/2010 3:00 AM
    Hahah this list is hilarious. That slide is super gross!
  24. Ash
    The 11 Most Inappropriate Kids' Toys Of All Time at 4/23/2010 3:33 AM
    the last one I saw as a kid and thought that looked fun, I don't see the anyhting inaproperiate. That one is just trying to make something abstract sexual. Like yeah "balls" come out of his mouth. If the little balls look like hairy raisins then yes I'd say that is inapproitae.

    The one I think is top notch is the oozinator that is hillarious.
  25. Anonymous
    The 11 Most Inappropriate Kids' Toys Of All Time at 4/22/2010 3:19 AM
    Elmo sucks, not funny at all, then all rocks
  26. Anonymous
    "X", As In The Last Sound In... at 4/21/2010 12:45 AM
    fox
  27. Huh
    The 11 Most Inappropriate Kids' Toys Of All Time at 4/19/2010 2:45 PM
    Am I a complete innocent? I don't see anything wrong with Mr Bucket. I think my kids would love it.
  28. Anna
    The 11 Most Inappropriate Kids' Toys Of All Time at 4/19/2010 3:53 AM
    I loved Mr. Bucket when I was a kid! To be fair, I never actually had one, but it looked like a good time.
  29. Venus Doom
    Mr. Bucket at 4/19/2010 2:30 AM
    At a sleepover when I was about 13, my cousin's cousin and I lay awake for hours, giggling hysterically and singing the jingle back and forth to each other: "I'm Mr. Bucket! The balls pop out of my mouth!" Goooooood times.
  30. jc
    The 11 Most Inappropriate Kids' Toys Of All Time at 4/19/2010 2:05 AM
    Just because some adults giggle at the word "balls" doesn't make actual balls inappropriate! What are we supposed to call them? Spherical toys?
    1. Rawr
      The 11 Most Inappropriate Kids' Toys Of All Time at 4/20/2010 3:49 PM
      To be honest, think about it; When he asks for them to call it something else, there' pretty much nothing else to call a ball. So, everyone's just gotta deal with Elmo Loves Balls, and then people just have twisted minds, using messed up slang to make toys seem bad for children.
  31. Libby
    Inflatable Slide at 4/19/2010 1:57 AM
    I know that's where babies come from, but this is just a little too literal for me.
  32. unitedhybrid
    The 11 Most Inappropriate Kids' Toys Of All Time at 4/18/2010 6:09 PM
    I used to have that rapping frog. They actually came out with a line of them with different rapping characters. A year ago, I had a yard sale and the rapping frog was one of the first items to sell. There's plenty of goof-heads like me. But yeah, the rapping frog wasn't the only one. Like I said, there were more rapping animals in that series.
  33. Russ
    The 11 Most Inappropriate Kids' Toys Of All Time at 4/18/2010 9:58 AM
    For being number one on the list, Mr. Bucket sure isn't very offensive.
  34. Anonymous
    The 11 Most Inappropriate Kids' Toys Of All Time at 4/16/2010 8:41 AM
    It amazes me that tyhese toys even made it to the market.They are funny in a dope smoking perverted kind of way( guilty ) but some things probably should remain in the confines of our homes(minds?).
  35. Eric
    The 11 Most Inappropriate Kids' Toys Of All Time at 4/13/2010 9:37 PM
    This toy absolutely is the king in the bad toys hall of fame ... Its called the "swing wing". Its not a joke vid ... this was really made by Transogram !!!

    http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=sparkythewow
    1. IHateEverything
      The 11 Most Inappropriate Kids' Toys Of All Time at 4/14/2010 3:23 PM
      The Swing Wing makes those kids look autistic
  36. Jeff
    The 11 Most Inappropriate Kids' Toys Of All Time at 4/13/2010 12:49 AM
    The Wolverine toy is hilarious, there's no way someone didn't notice that.
  37. Mike
    The 11 Most Inappropriate Kids' Toys Of All Time at 4/12/2010 11:19 AM
    How about "Top 11 never heard of toys." This list would do the job.
  38. Anonymous
    The 11 Most Inappropriate Kids' Toys Of All Time at 4/12/2010 10:35 AM
    After listening to the video for #7, it sounds like "fox" to me. Pretty clearly, actually.
    1. The Master
      The 11 Most Inappropriate Kids' Toys Of All Time at 4/16/2010 11:40 AM
      It's actually supposed to say "box", I think. It's pretty subjective.
      1. fgh
        The 11 Most Inappropriate Kids' Toys Of All Time at 4/16/2010 11:33 PM
        i can hear fax :)

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