The 11 Most Miserable Places in the U.S. By Ivana Wynn [12 more lists]

The United States is a huge piece of land and not all of it is fun and dandy. In fact, there are some pretty miserable places to live in the U.S. and lots of reasons why. From cities with awful weather and ugly residents to cities with high bestiality and low libido, here are the 11 most miserable places in the U.S. ever.

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1

Cape Disappointment, Washington - Foggiest

Since Washington is one of the most overcast states in the country, it's no surprise that its residents have named towns all over the state with deeply depressing names. The most depressing name of all though has to go to Cape Disappointment whose very existence implicates a huge letdown.

British fur trader John Meares supposedly named the dreariest of dreary towns back in 1788 when he thought the area was only a bay. He turned his ship back and missed discovering the Columbia River. What a disappointment.

Residents of Cape Disappointment live a hazy life with 106 days of fog a year. Brave tourists willing to visit the cape may find its name literally true, especially if they camp on the beach at the Cape Disappointment State Park in a flimsy tent. Believe it or not, this area was actually one of the most populated places in aboriginal North America, that is, before Europeans showed up with their contagious and fatal diseases.

What'd you expect, a place named like this is never going to have a happy ending.

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2

Sevier County, Utah - Most Online Porn Subscriptions

Harvard economics professor Benjamin Edelman tracked online porn subscriptions in the U.S. and found that ironically, Utah is the state with the highest number, particularly in Sevier County.

Utah's conservative sex laws, which go as far as outlawing adultery and treating oral and anal sex as well as masturbation as sodomy, keep residents completely repressed. However, nothing is ever really entirely repressed, as indicated by the good people in The Beehive State.

Sometimes these moral restrictions and family values held by Mormons and Christians alike can actually backfires and instead arouse the curiosity of get-down-and-dirty porn amongst young people. Hey, if you can't do it, you might as well watch.

Another interesting tidbit: Utah also has the highest searches for ""topless,"" ""naked girls"" and ""pornography."" If someone's lying around here it sure ain't Google.

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3

Pierce and Whatcom Counties, Washington - Most Bestiality

Washington's cloudy weather and rainy days have its bored residents desperately searching for something to do. Sometimes, boredom can get a bit unsavory.

For instance, in Pierce county, cases of bestiality with a pit bull, a goat and an Arabian stallion were surfaced and ended in a man's death.

It gets weirder.

Douglas Spink, a cocaine smuggler in Whatcom County was also arrested for running a bestiality farm. The police found mice with their tails cut off, covered in Vaseline and tied with a string around them.

Uh, Washington sure knows how to get creative.

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4

La Crosse, Wisconsin - Most Binge Drinking

Not only is La Crosse renown for its drinking culture (Oktoberfest has been celebrated here for the last 50 years) but there are rumors of a serial k****r drowning 20-year-old college males in the Mississippi River.

Nine men around the same age have been found dildod in the river since 1997. It's fair to say that it could just be irresponsible drinking--all of them had blood alcohol content of .20 to .42 percent--and the FBI never found any signs of physical trauma on any of them.

There could just be something really cool in the water that people want to see when their drunk. Which hints at another kind of problem.

The latest case was in February 2010 when 21-year-old Western Technical College student Craig Meyers' body was found in the river. He had been drinking at a wedding reception and two bars several days before.

In a 2007 report, the La Crosse County Coroner estimated that the city had 40-50 alcohol-or drug-related deaths in the two years prior. He added, ""It's personal responsibility. You can't babysit everybody."

One thing's for sure, no water-themed parties for these people.

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5

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania - Ugliest People

Beauty may be a relative concept but Travel + Leisure Magazine conducted a survey that was answered by 60,000 readers, who voted Philadephia's residents as the ugliest in America. *immature laughter abound*

The city's unattractiveness though was partly based off the lack of fashion style and the high obesity rate. Hey, what do you expect from a city mostly known for its cheesesteaks...Tyra Banks?

The city is also impoverished with a high crime rate, perhaps making aesthetics a lesser priority than say, survival.

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6

Panama City, Florida - Highest Divorce Rate

Moving to a beach city doesn't always guarantee happiness. Take for instance Panama City, a city in Northern Florida that has a 15.5% divorce rate, with 994 filings for divorce in 2008 and 1066 in 2009.

Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren completed their divorce in Panama City after his cheating scandal and a marriage counselor interviewed by the Daily Beast attributed the high divorce rate to the economy and infidelity.

People tend to move to sunny Florida thinking their life will change but they often times still carry around with them all of their emotional baggage. Just one theory, anyhow.

Also adding to the appeal of Splitsville is its easy citizenship. Getting a divorce in Florida is much easier than in most other U.S. states. It's inexpensive and painless (unlike the marriage part).

Even worse, Panama City is a huge party city with tons of tempting options for dissatisfied spouses. In other words, this is no Philadelphia.

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7

Corpus Christi, Texas - Baldest Men

Corpus Christi residents are sadly buying the most Rogaine and getting the most hair transplants in the entire country.

Hair loss has a correlation with bad health, particularly stress, obesity and diabetes. Male-pattern baldness is also heavily affected by the consistent use of tight-fitted caps.

So, maybe the cowboys down in Texas should consider taking their trademark hats off in order to keep the hair on their head on. Then, that may also solve the other issue in Corpus Christi of having the most sexually dissatisfied women in America.

Not a true statistic, just a well-thought out assumption.

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8

Iowa City, Iowa - Most Successful Writers

The prestigious two-year Writers' Workshop program is celebrating its 75th anniversary this year. Famous authors such as Flannery O'Connor, Kurt Vonnegut and Philip Roth were accepted by the program before publishing award-winning works. The workshop continues to attract the most talented writers, such as Nam Le.

What they all have in common though is major misery. Whether it may be about ethnic and generational dilemmas, post traumatic stress disorder or racism in the South, Fiction is and has always been founded on conflict. Of course even the most celebrated and awarded writers are not the happiest people, evidenced in the fact that many of them have committed suicide (Virginia Woolf, Sylvia Plath, Ernest Hemingway, David Foster Wallace).

To unite some of the country's best, and consequently most neurotic, writers in one place is like creating an art colony of misery.

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9

Greensboro, North Carolina - Most Impotent

Greensboro is home to the third largest cigarette manufacturer in the country and you can bet that residents there light up often. And much to the Greensboro men's chagrin, smoking increases the possibility of erectile dysfunction, giving the population there a good reason to be named the most impotent people in the country.

Other factors that contributed to this statistic were a high number of Viagra sales and of course, obesity, which also makes it hard to...stay hard.

To cut the story short, if you're a woman looking to reproduce, no need to make a stop at Greensboro.

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10

Lexington, Kentucky - Least Sex

Lexington is the U.S. city having the most trouble getting it on.

This statistic was calculated by a combination of the least Babeland and Pure Romance sales (sex toy companies), condom sales and birth rates.

Lexington residents are mostly conservative and as the studies show probably too conservative to be pleasuring themselves with toys (c'mon guys, live a little).

The city also has an obesity rate over 30% that continues to rise, which can definitely make a dent in sexual arousal if you roll over and realize you've actually rolled over your partner. Unfortunately, the words "Honey, get off of me" is usually not something you want to hear during sex.

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11

Anchorage, Alaska - Most Bear Attacks

In the summer of 2008, there were three maulings in Anchorage that provoked residents to start hunting bears down. For those that don't know (which is most of us, because who really goes to Alaska?), Anchorage is right next door to Chugach State Park, home to over 300 brown and black bears.

10 hunting permits were allowed within the park by 2009 but Rick Sinnot, a biologist from the Department of Fish and Game said, ""We don't really want to reduce the population that much."" Read: that much. Read: Get your bullet proof vest, there's going to be a missile party.

Bikers in Anchorage have also reportedly been attacked and problems with the hungry bears, who look for food in trash bins and even camp out in peopleÃ¢ÂÂs backyards with their moose kill, also agitate the city's inhabitants.

It's particularly annoying when the bears start to chase humans (and they do in Anchorage) and charge at neighbors walking their dogs. At one point, mothers had to start arming their children with pepper spray and one tough resident, 18-year-old Devon Rees, who works in a meat store, was even forced to box with a bear.

As one smart resident, Dave Parker pointed out, the bears ""were here before we were."" True point, so you've been warned: don't move to Anchorage if you don't want to share the land with the bears!

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