Corpus Christi, Texas - Baldest Men
Corpus Christi residents are sadly buying the most Rogaine and getting the most hair transplants in the entire country.
Hair loss has a correlation with bad health, particularly stress, obesity, and diabetes. Male-pattern baldness is also heavily affected by the consistent use of tight-fitted caps.
So, maybe the cowboys down in Texas should consider taking their trademark hats off in order to keep the hair on their head on. Then, that may also solve the other issue in Corpus Christi of having the most sexually dissatisfied women in America.
Not a true statistic, just a well-thought out assumption.
Iowa City, Iowa - Most Successful Writers
The prestigious two-year Writers' Workshop program is celebrating its 75th anniversary this year. Famous authors such as Flannery O'Connor, Kurt Vonnegut, and Philip Roth were accepted by the program before publishing award-winning works. The workshop continues to attract the most talented writers, such as Nam Le.
What they all have in common though is major misery. Whether it may be about ethnic and generational dilemmas, post traumatic stress disorder, or racism in the South, Fiction is and has always been founded on conflict. Of course, even the most celebrated and awarded writers are not the happiest people, evidenced in the fact that many of them have committed suicide (Virginia Woolf, Sylvia Plath, Ernest Hemingway, David Foster Wallace).
To unite some of the country's best, and consequently most neurotic, writers in one place is like creating an art colony of misery.
Greensboro, North Carolina - Most Impotent
Greensboro is home to the third largest cigarette manufacturer in the country, and you can bet that residents there light up often. And much to the Greensboro men's chagrin, smoking increases the possibility of erectile dysfunction, giving the population there a good reason to be named the most impotent people in the country.
Other factors that contributed to this statistic were a high number of Viagra sales and of course, obesity, which also makes it hard to...stay hard.
To cut the story short, if you're a woman looking to reproduce, no need to make a stop at Greensboro.
Lexington, Kentucky - Least Sex
Lexington is the U.S. city having the most trouble getting it on.
This statistic was calculated by a combination of the least Babeland and Pure Romance sales (sex toy companies), condom sales, and birth rates.
Lexington residents are mostly conservative and as the studies show, probably too conservative to be pleasuring themselves with toys (c'mon guys, live a little).
The city also has an obesity rate over 30% that continues to rise, which can definitely make a dent in sexual arousal if you roll over and realize you've actually rolled over your partner. Unfortunately, the words, "Honey, get off of me," is usually not something you want to hear during sex.
Anchorage, Alaska - Most Bear Attacks
In the summer of 2008, there were three maulings in Anchorage that provoked residents to start hunting bears down. For those that don't know (which is most of us, because who really goes to Alaska?), Anchorage is right next door to Chugach State Park, home to over 300 brown and black bears.
10 hunting permits were allowed within the park by 2009 but Rick Sinnot, a biologist from the Department of Fish and Game said, "We don't really want to reduce the population that much." Read: that much. Read: Get your bullet proof vest, there's going to be a missile party.
Bikers in Anchorage have also reportedly been attacked and problems with the hungry bears, who look for food in trash bins and even camp out in peopleÃ¢ÂÂs backyards with their moose kill, also agitate the city's inhabitants.
It's particularly annoying when the bears start to chase humans (and they do in Anchorage) and charge at neighbors walking their dogs. At one point, mothers had to start arming their children with pepper spray and one tough resident, 18-year-old Devon Rees, who works in a meat store, was even forced to box with a bear.
As one smart resident, Dave Parker pointed out, the bears "were here before we were." True point, so you've been warned: don't move to Anchorage if you don't want to share the land with the bears!
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