- 1+ 3- 0
Keith Staskiewicz, Entertainment Weeklyv"The Smurfs may be blue, but their movie is decidedly green, recycling discarded bits from other celluloid Happy Meals like Alvin and the Chipmunks, Garfield, and Hop into something half animated, half live action, and all careful studio calculation."
Yes, 'Entertainment Weekly' movie critic Keith Staskiewicz is a particularly grumpy Smurf, letting us know in no uncertain terms why he thinks 'The Smurfs' deserves his D+ rating. And given this statement, perhaps these little blue darlings were lucky to eek out a D+, instead of a big, fat, Smurftastic "F."
- 2+ 2- 2
Widgett Walls, Needcoffee.comv"Keep repeating to yourself over and over: 'It gets Jonathan Winters a paycheck. It gets Jonathan Winters a paycheck.'"
Widgett Walls of Needcoffee.com decides to offer up a video review of 'The Smurfs' just moments after leaving the theater, and it's not pretty. In short, he hated it. But yes, we can probably all agree that we're really glad the brilliant (and, in this movie, apparently totally wasted talents) of Jonathan Winters are utilized enough in the movie that Winters got paid. Hopefully, a lot. For his trouble.
- 3+ 0- 0
Ed Gonzalez, Slant Magazinev"Here comes The Smurfs movie to nail the coffin shut, to remind us that there's no bigger bitch in this life than nostalgia."
Critic Ed Gonzalez of 'Slant Magazine' readily admits in his review of 'The Smurfs' movie that he was a huge Smurfs fan as a youngster (and beyond). But he is definitely not down with Raja Gosnell's live-action adaptation - and he reminds us that yes, sometimes it's better to remember your childhood loves fondly, rather than shatter the nostalgia with something like this. In other words, let sleeping Smurfs lie.
- 4+ 0- 0
John Beifuss, Memphis Commercial Appealv"Wearing a CBGB T-shirt, Neil Patrick Harris rocks out with Clumsy Smurf to 'Guitar Hero.' Historians may want to remember this sequence when they're trying to pinpoint the exact moment that rock and roll died."
Movie critic John Beifuss not only takes issue with 'The Smurfs' movie in general, he goes after costuming, particularly Neil Patrick Harris' CBGB tee. Ouch. He also warns parents that some kids, after seeing the movie, will start speaking Smurf all the time - "until you're ready to smurf their little throats." Maybe the MPAA needs to add this to it's rating?
- 5+ 0- 0
Bill Gibron, Filmcritic.comv"It's one of the smurfiest smurfing smurfs you will ever waste your smurfing money on."
You know a movie's really, really bad when the critics begin speaking total gibberish (also known as Smurf language). Is this movie seriously infecting their brains? Bill Gibron of Filmcritic.com, we're worried about you...
- 6+ 0- 0
Nick Schager, Village Voicev"(Raja) Gosnell directs as if every scene must be either a nauseating roller-coaster ride or a syrupy melodrama."
Now come on, you really thought the Village Voice wouldn't be on this list? If critic Nick Schager wrote that he loved the film, the world might come to a screeching halt, right? But the big blue ball continues to spin, because Schager hates 'The Smurfs' movie. Like many other critics, he's also very worried about sequels, saying that the idea "truly inspires thoughts of smurficide."
- 7+ 0- 0
Alonso Duralde, The Wrapv"Does for children's entertainment what lead paint does for children's toys."
Alonso Duralde, movie critic for 'The Wrap,' is having none of this Smurfs' business. In fact, he suggests to readers that they call their Congressman, to "demand that Central Park be federally protected from Hollywood." Not a bad idea, given that this is the second movie stinker to utilize NYC's iconic, beautiful oasis (the other being 'Mr. Popper's Penguins,' and, well, that's a whole other list).
- 8+ 0- 0
Todd Gilchrist, Boxoffice Magazinev"Looking at the obnoxious TV ads for The Smurfs, it's easy to dismiss the film as a shrill, joyless exercise in special effects without substance. It's even easier after actually seeing it."
Critic Todd Gilchrist of 'Boxoffice Magazine' definitely isn't a fan of this movie. He directs some of his ire towards poor Clumsy Smurf, even writing, "If you don't wish for Papa Smurf's premonition of a disastrous fate for Clumsy to come true, you're a better person than I am." Yikes. And while he does admit that the youngest of the young might actually find the 'Smurfs' movie entertaining, if you can "chose, drive to and pay for The Smurfs of your own volition, it's possible that you might still need adult supervision." There you go, moms and dads. Stay home. Tell your kids the movie's straight-to-DVD. Hopefully they'll believe you.
- 9+ 0- 0
Sean O'Connell, The Washington Postv"I wouldn't smurf Gosnell's 'The Smurfs' on my smurfiest enemy."
Sean O'Connell, movie critic for 'The Washington Post,' takes great issue with Raja Gosnell's 'The Smurfs' movie for several reasons, not the least of which is "the film's fondness for revolting toilet jokes" and its "paper-thin plot." He also suggests names for new Smurfs, including "Obnoxious Smurf," "Dopey Smurf" and "Idiotic Smurf." We could go for that, especially Dopey Smurf.
- 10+ 0- 0
Stephen Whitty, Newark Star-Ledgerv"That two sequels have been announced is terrifying."
Critic Stephen Whitty is definitely not a fan of 'The Smurfs' movie. So much so, that he's already worrying about f*ture sequels. He's also apparently quite freaked out by the Smurfs' song ( you know, "La la la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la."), writing that "by the 15th verse, you may start to wish you had some mushrooms of your own. The poisonous kind."
- 11+ 0- 0
Glenn Kenny, MSN Moviesv"...the adults who take [the kids] to see the movie won't feel too good about themselves, or their existences, or the state of life on the planet, as the lights go up."
Glenn Kenny, in his review of 'The Smurfs' movie for MSN movies, says flat out that the film tries way too hard to be all things to all people - kids and adults alike. Kenny uses words like "schizoid" and "whiplash-inducing zigzagging" to describe the movie. So, if you must go, be prepared to don a neck brace, perhaps?
- 12+ 0- 0
Willie Waffle, WaffleMovies.comv"It is one of the signs of the apocalypse, so I must warn you ahead of time. The Smurfs are skateboarding and rapping in this movie."
Critic Willie Waffle doesn't mince words: No, in his hilariously negative 'Smurfs' review, he flat out warns us that this is an apocalyptic sign. It is nice to be warned that the Smurfs rap, though. If you have to take the kiddos at least you can plan a convenient potty break.
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