The 13 Greatest Diner Fights of All TIme

The woman in the center of the action kind who both looks and acts like a real-life version of Rosie Perez in the 80s, kind of acts like a mediator at the beginning, but then she shoves both the men fighting, cause it's a sporting event and there's only so much you can spectate before getting actively involved.

This is probably the most stylish fight in this entire list, because the dudes are both fat, but proud and 100% mobster material.

The first punch thrown, only seconds into the video, is clearly done in a fashion that only a man who has had someone killed would have done. This makes his punch (which he misses, completely) not only awesome, but smooth. Smooth as a baby's butt -- like most punches.

After that the fat man in the creme colored shirt breaks some beer bottles, and yet again, sh*t truly begins to get to the state of being "real."

Thankfully, there are men in this world who would rather spend their valuable time video taping these events for us instead of doing what most dudes would feel inclined to do in any of these situations which is... you know... "help."

Chuck E Cheese is a theme diner where kids eat pizza regularly. It takes so long for that damned pizza to come out that this is pretty much the opposite of "fast food."

At a Hickory Hill Chuck E. Cheese, several families were involved in a brawl because the people in the photo booth were just talking too damn long.

Juanita Key, a pregnant, angry individual, started the riot when she and her family were in line at the photo booth and asked the patrons inside how long they would be.Their response was not to her liking. They were there celebrating her three year old son's birthday, and were eventually charged with assaulting a police officer, inciting a riot, and POSSESSION OF MARIJUANA, baby!

The worst part about this whole thing is how sad the baby/toddler sounds when he's looking desperately for his parents only to find a bunch of insane Maury-like "adults" taking their rage out on each other.

Oh, also, this is a huge fight at a Chuck-E-Cheese... started by adults.

Alright, this one involves some arguably attractive women. Arguably. Arguably.

Some drunk people in tracksuits in North Hollywood managed to get into it at a Denny's, as ya do. Unfortunately for humanity, and any prospective job opportunities they might have, the entire thing is on tape.

They start going at it seemingly out of nowhere and when they do, skirts fly up, whale tails are exposed and punches are thrown much like cartoon dogs usually fight.

The cameraman even points out that this is going on YouTube, and like with all videos worth their salt, the guy was telling the truth.

The woman who gets really loud is yelling the entire time she is being carried away, probably because she still wants her damn sausage biscuit. hell I'd be pissed too if someone messed with my dinner-breakfast, but would I go this far? Well, make it a McGriddle and you've just turned your local Denny's into an Octagon in my book.