13 Animal Mating Habits That Will Make You Glad You're Human Anything
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13 Animal Mating Habits That Will Make You Glad You're Human

You think YOU have a tough time getting laid? These 13 animals work for sex more than any species on earth. From drinking pee to morphing the size and shape of their penis, to actually DYING for sex, here are thirteen animals that have the hardest time getting laid. These are animal sex videos that work and are of animal sex. But these 13 animal mating habits will definitely make you happy that you aren't one of these animals.

What types of animal sex should make you glad that you're a human. Well, assuming you're reading this, you are a human so you have nothing to worry about. But count your lucky stars you aren't one of the animals listed on here.

Warning: terrible sex jokes ahead.

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    Honey Bees: Sex Slaves That Lose Their Penis and Die

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    Honey bee colonies are organized such that in each individual hive, much like in most public middle schools, there is a queen bee, drones, and worker bees.

    The drones probably have the worst lot in life, as far as sex goes. First of all, the male honey bee, the "Drone", are the only males in the hive. They develop from eggs that have not been fertilized, and they do not have the ability to sting anything and since the worker bee's stinger is a modified ovipositor (an egg laying organ), it acts like any other bee's stinger does when they sting someone.

    That's right. Once they use their penis for the only purpose they are on this earth, they die immediately.

    I mean, it's not like the worker bees (the ones with actual stingers) have it any better off...



    But these poor Drone schlubs are stingless, defenseless, and ultimately unable to feed themselves -- kind of like most college freshmen.

    Their only function is to fertilize the queen bee, and once they finally "get it in", their lives are over.


    This is the penis of a Bee Drone. I call it a "Beenis."

    How can a species that has one of the most brilliant, enigmatic pattens of communication have the worst imaginable way of procreating? I guess they just don't get emotionally attached to anything, but man, if you think about it, every Drone is kind of a loser. The queen really has to slum it and sink down to Drone levels, when she clearly has everything going for her, and plenty of other dudes that would appreciate a piece of that action... but just because it's in her nature, inexplicably, she falls for the loser (x1000)

    ... Which makes pretty much any bee hive in the history of existence an insect version of any Judd Apatow movie you've ever seen.

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