Hot Girl with Tattoos is Caught Dancing by Her Gardeners
There are few things hotter than a girl with tattoo sleeves. Girls with sleeves are seriously what make the world go round. They could really have baby seals getting killed by orphans who haven't eaten for nine months while pandas fail at reproducing in the background as their sleeves, and their sleeves would still make them a million times hotter.
So this video (which some think is fake because seriously, she can't see herself on the webcam?) features a hot girl wearing mis-matched underwear. She's bleach-blonde and decides to make a webcam video for her boyfriend or, perhaps, the Internet. Either way, this thing is going to have an audience.
This camgirl's a bad dancer, like most chicks on this list, because she's white. Either that or she hasn't passed her final exam for stripper school. Either way, this girl does the strip-dancing equivalent of holding your date's shoulders during a slow dance in middle school – just the bare bones minimum.
So, as she dances for the camera, playing with her hair and touching herself all over, she's typing to whomever she's dancing for and is engrossed in what she's doing so much that she doesn't notice the towel she put over her blinds (why didn't she just use the blinds?) came down, exposing her to the two gardeners working outside. The gardeners watch until they get discovered. Hilarity ensues.
This is funny for three reasons:
1. She thinks people care about what she has to say (even though she's probably just denying nude requests).
2. The guys in the chatroom watching her dance DON'T TELL HER THAT OTHER DUDES ARE THERE. This is probably the best part. She's baring it all for some horny, lonely dudes on the Internet and they don't even have the common decency to tell her she's being watched by actual people.
3. The gardeners make absolutely NO ATTEMPT to hide themselves or the fact that they're watching her. What the hell – do they think that she can't see them? Not only this, but the first guy notices, does a double take, and then registers what is happening and approaches the window slowly, like he's just seen something as unbelievable as an alien landing. (Arguably, he had).
He calls his buddy over and they just stand there, watching in awe, taking in the view until she sees them; they run and she desperately tries to get the towel back up, again, instead of using her blinds. WTF, lady?
BONUS: the original guy who saw her is wearing a spoof of a SUBWAY sandwiches shirt that instead says 'Zombies: Eat Fresh.'
Cam Girls Are NOT Acrobats
So, this girl starts out by doing the move that I pretty much devolve into doing after running out of dance moves while I'm on the dance floor (aka, about 15 seconds into any dance).
She really does more playing with her hair and closing her closet door than she does dancing. She tries to use her hips and fails, but hey, she's a hot, blonde, college chick who's decided to show off the s**tty tattoo on her lower abdomen and make a video for people.
Hey, maybe the troops will see this. This is pretty much how I justify, logically, why the hell any girl would bother to dance on camera for strangers.
When this girl falls is when most girls on this list fall: when they decide that they're so well prepared from their last 30 seconds of experience in dancing, that they also then have the skills of an acrobat.
Cam girls everywhere: YOU ARE NOT ACROBATS.
At about 00:47 the girl starts climbing onto something in her room (don't these girls ever clean their room?) and bites it once it fails on her, because it's probably just a bunch of her shoes under three of her shirts over five of her sweaters.
I Only Assume This Girl is Still Alive Because This Video ExistsJust to add a bit of Latin flavor to this list, we have this insanely curvaceous and amazing-looking girl practicing her belly dancing/booty shaking, like all Brazilian women do as a rite of passage as soon as they reach their "hot" stage – which happens at different times for every Brazilian woman, but does happen to every Brazilian woman.
As this girl, who's only wearing a bra and a sarong, dances for the camera she decides to use a break in the music to lean back using her dresser like you would a stripper pole. Now, this would be a pretty sexy move usually, as we get a great gander down her bra and she gets to arch her neck and back in a carnal, animal sexy way.
Unfortunately, though, she apparently doesn't really have enough things in her dresser to support her weight, and the entire thing falls on her.
Seriously, the only reason I assume this girl is alive is because I sincerely doubt that if she died, her parents/friends would then upload it to the Internet.
Nobody Needs Lamps Anyway? Or Tables?
So, this girl who looks more like a professional dancer (for a high school in the late 90s, early 2000s) throws down some moves after saying a bunch of stuff in a language from a country where everyone's blonde and attractive (so you really do have to have skills like this).
She ends up saying one English phrase before she gets started, but if I understand correctly, she says that this is her final project for something. She's going to be incubated for months after this and will perform some professional feat of great courage. "Check this out"...
She starts dancing everywhere in the room and forgets that her parents' tiny apartment isn't her school gymnasium.
At about 00:49, the girl does a giant kick, breaking the lamp above her head, then panics and falls so unexpectedly that she brings a table mantle and whatever the hell's on the table in front of her down with her. It also looks like it knocked whatever camera she was using down.
Remember, kids, if you're video taping yourself dancing, make sure you have enough room, be mindful or your surroundings, and never improvise, because you're really not that talented.
The Jesus is What Sells It
Unfortunately, what we don't get is this girl's second try. Apparently, she gives up just as easily as she most likely gives it up (see what I did there, you'll thank me later.)
It starts out pretty well, a pretty normal looking girl is transformed once her shirt comes off, displaying her amazing rack and her great bra. This should be an EPIC cam girl moment... until she falls, slowly, but surely, for seemingly no reason.
It really doesn't even seem like the fall is all that much of a big deal until you hear what she says at the end after being on the floor for a bit... "... oh Jesus..."
Not only has she embarrassed herself in front of whoever was awesome enough to be taking video-capture of the event, but she hurt herself and looked like a damn fool instead of looking damn sexy.
So, once again, remember to be mindful of your surroundings, have fun, but be careful about what tricks you try that you've never tried before.
Hell, this list is turning into a verifiable "what NOT to do if you're a cam girl" list. If anyone makes a webcame mistake after reading this list, you're really on your own.
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