The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes Quotations
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The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes

The douchiest quotes from singer John Mayer (douchebag), from his sex life with Jessica Simpson to his masturbation rituals. He can't seem to keep his mouth in check (especially in a recent Playboy interview) and eventually someone is going to try and wash it out with a bag of Summer's Eve. Mr. Mayer obviously writes songs because he can't form cohesive sentences (we think we're starting to see why/how he dated Jessica Simpson). It's not only us, other girls (Taylor Swift, ahem) also view him as the ultimate douche. Let the douchebaggery begin...
The List
  1. 1
    Up 89
    Down 38

    If you really had a hood pass, you could call it a n!!!er Pass.

    "MAYER: My two biggest hits are 'Your Body Is a Wonderland' and 'Daughters.' If you think those songs are pandering, then you'll think I'm a douche bag. It's like I come on very strong. I am a very…I'm just very. V-E-R-Y. And if you can't handle very, then I'm a douche bag. But I think the world needs a little very. That's why black people love me.

    PLAYBOY: Because you're very?

    MAYER: Someone asked me the other day, 'What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?' And by the way, it's sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a n***** pass."

    Playboy interview, 2010

  2. 2
    Up 63
    Down 24

    My dick is sort of like a white supremacist

    "I don't think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I've got a Benetton heart and a f**kin' David Duke cock. I'm going to start dating separately from my dick."

    John Mayer on interracial relationships in an interview with Playboy magazine, 2010.

  3. 3
    Up 38
    Down 12

    I can outgay this guy, right now.

    All of a sudden I thought, I can outgay this guy right now. I grabbed him and gave him the dirtiest, tongue-iest kiss I have ever put on anybody—almost as if I hated f*gs. I don’t think my mouth was even touching when I was tongue kissing him, that’s how disgusting this kiss was. I’m a little ashamed. I think it lasted about half a minute. I really think it went on too long..."

    John Mayer on kissing Perez Hilton after openly admitting he enjoys gay p*********y during/after sex with starlets. He's not gay, just egotistical.

  4. 4
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    Down 25

    Sometimes I wish that I was the weather

    "Sometimes I wish that I was the weather, you'd bring me up in conversation forever. And when it rained, I'd be the talk of the day."

    John Mayer on meteorology.

  5. 5
    Up 28
    Down 9

    I'm sort of a half-chick . . . I can insert a tampon

    John Mayer on a fellow female sanitation device, in his Rolling Stone interview 1/2010

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