The douchiest quotes from singer John Mayer (douchebag), from his sex life with Jessica Simpson to his masturbation rituals. He can't seem to keep his mouth in check (especially in a recent Playboy interview) and eventually someone is going to try and wash it out with a bag of Summer's Eve. Mr. Mayer obviously writes songs because he can't form cohesive sentences (we think we're starting to see why/how he dated Jessica Simpson). It's not only us, other girls (Taylor Swift, ahem) also view him as the ultimate douche. Let the douchebaggery begin...
If you really had a hood pass, you could call it a n!!!er pass.
"MAYER: My two biggest hits are 'Your Body Is a Wonderland' and 'Daughters.' If you think those songs are pandering, then you'll think I'm a douche bag. It's like I come on very strong. I am a very…I'm just very. V-E-R-Y. And if you can't handle very, then I'm a douche bag. But I think the world needs a little very. That's why black people love me.
PLAYBOY: Because you're very?
MAYER: Someone asked me the other day, 'What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?' And by the way, it's sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a n***** pass."
“I'm not being trite. I'm not being a parody of myself, and in finding a new kind of color to adopt for myself, it's not this or that: it's singer-songwriter, but it's also blues guitar player, it's also comedian.”
"I don't think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I've got a Benetton heart and a fuckin' David Duke c**k. I'm going to start dating separately from my dick."
John Mayer on interracial relationships in an interview with Playboy magazine, 2010.
I was crying like a baby to the printed word and that doesn't happen much to me.
"I was crying like a baby...in my house... to the printed word, and that doesn't happen much to me. This kind of sounds selfish of me, but I only took this song to write a song for a movie because I only wanted to write a song for a great movie".
John Mayer on never reading (and then proving it by the way he talks) during an interview for the move The Bucket List, 2008.
"Think of how much mental capacity I'm using to meet the right person"
What Mayer says he craves the most is to settle down with the right woman: "I'll be happy when I close out this life-partner thing," he says. "Think of how much mental capacity I'm using to meet the right person."
All of a sudden I thought, I can outgay this guy right now. I grabbed him and gave him the dirtiest, tongue-iest kiss I have ever put on anybody—almost as if I hated fags. I don’t think my mouth was even touching when I was tongue kissing him, that’s how disgusting this kiss was. I’m a little ashamed. I think it lasted about half a minute. I really think it went on too long..."
John Mayer on kissing Perez Hilton after openly admitting he enjoys gay p*********y during/after sex with starlets. He's not gay, just egotistical.
Re using the N Word in an interview, I am sorry that I used the word.
"Re: using the 'N word' in an interview: I am sorry that I used the word. And it's such a shame that I did because the point I was trying to make was in the exact opposite spirit of the word itself.
...It was arrogant of me to think I could intellectualize using it, because I realize that there's no intellectualizing a word that is so emotionally charged."
His apology for using the "N word" in a Playboy interview, via Twitter.
It was so disingenuous that not only did he just Tweet it, but he defended the fact that he used the word. Also, if you're using the word in an interview where you refer to your "racist penis" as a "David Duke cock", you're not really intellectualizing it.
BONUS: Here's a clip of him apologizing again at his own concert and barely putting coherent thoughts together... he blames his "quest to be clever". Most awkward part is when he justifies what he said while the black guy in his band stares straight at him the whole time, not cracking a smile.
Tom The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 1/10/2011 4:25 PM
1 and 2 are douchey and I totally understand why people would hate that he said them if it was solely based on those two.
But the third is an apology for the second, and most of the rest are actually pretty harmlessly funny. What is douchy about admitting you are a chronic masterbater, liking attention, or wanting to write pornagraphy? I guess its possible that he may be a douche, but chances are that you are just judgmental.
Anonymous The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 3/21/2010 7:58 PM
LOL i LOVE the douch bag things he says XD it makes him seem more real and makes me know hes not perfect. hes soo weird hes such a funny man too! to me hes like my dream man like a freakin GOD.
Greg The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 2/17/2010 2:45 PM
When opening my Playboy why would i want to read john mayer quotes? Playboy is my picture book. I hate how his douchiness is invading my space and time with my playmates! haha
hagstromV The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 10/27/2011 8:46 AM
John Mayer is a racist c**t! He's also an arrogant, half-assed guitar player who can't write songs if he had to. He's douche bag #1, I say. John, go play with your watch collection and leave the world alone, you twat!
EmmaOmar The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 10/05/2011 6:31 AM
John Mayer is a great man. He's caring and loving. He is a comedian. All comedians make racist jokes. It doesn't make them racist. Give the poor man a break. With the women thing, he's looking for the right person. Why would he waist his or his girlfriends time when he knows they don't have a future. Isn't that what normal people do. He doesn't cheat or lie. He gets to know a girl and breaks it off when it doesn't work out
Even though I believe, he's not finiancialy well since he hasn't got an album out or toured, he recently donated $15, 000 to help individuals in Fairfield County living with HIV and AIDS.
He has also been putting time and effort into supporting Isaac, who is a 7year old boy that has MPS VI. Look at the link below for proof.
Anonymous The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 3/10/2010 5:05 PM
his songs are amazing i can relate to them. sometimes i just think he's not from this world he is a beautiful person and those of you guys who dont believe or know that, you guys are narrowminded!
bree The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 7/30/2010 12:12 PM
these are SO taken out of context. those of u who hate john based off of this may want to think again. he's an incredible musician and an amazing writer. he thinks and feels just as deeply as anyone, but john has the amazing ability to articulate these feelings for us. if you actually listened to his music and read the things he writes, you'd be thanking him rather than bashing on him. he gives life to feelings that you dont know how to express.
Joe The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 12/15/2010 1:37 PM
Nope. I have listened to him for years and I agree that he is a brilliant songwriter and musician, but context or not, he is a TOTAL MORON in real time. This is a new opinion as of today and it sucks for me to say.
cc The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 9/11/2010 10:40 AM
What an a*****e - I now agree with the majority. He should use his mouth for singing only ( which he is good at) but unfortunately he thinks this automatically makes him an intellectual? LOL
Anonymous The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 2/20/2010 2:24 PM
never has there been a man who deserves the title "douche" like john mayer does. i sometimes wonder if douche should be changed to john mayer, like "man i can't believe you did that, you're such a john mayer". it just seems more fitting somehow =l
jdemo23 The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 2/17/2010 2:40 PM
the best john mayer playboy quote is the one about his dick being like a white supremacist. he is definitely not the brightest guy and that interview just proved how retarded he is
Dave72 If I wasn't thought of as a young Bruce Springsteen before, I sure am now. at 6/09/2010 12:56 PM
Your name shouldn't even be mentioned in the same language as Springsteen. He has more talent in a strand of his hair than John Mayer can ever dream of having
John Barryman The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 3/05/2010 5:39 PM
Haha yeah that one is funny. But, the john mayer quote about jessica simpson is most accurate to him being a sweet ass dude! I mean afterall not everyone gets to bang jessica simpson
from a black woman The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 3/01/2010 11:08 AM
I used to think of you as a sensitive person John, your thoughts are all over the place. Cohesiveness goes a long way, either you're in or out? U talked about the hood pass? What the h**l is a HOOD PASS Anyway?? U Stereotypical SumBitch!! love your artistic talent personally, and will keep buying ur stuff. Do you know what TMI means? Everyone has a preference of who they are attracted to, it's ok....Just don't reveal everything dude!!!! keep it to yourself!!!!! Don't make me not like you.....
Anonymous The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 2/21/2010 4:10 PM
What a jerk! These recent comments have completely and forever changed my opinion of this person. I have overlooked many of the comments he's made, chalking it up to alcohol and his age, but his chosen words are very telling about who he really is as a human being.
justsaying The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 1/15/2011 10:46 PM
"who he really is as a human being"? They're just a few (okay like 15 but whatever) freaking quotes he said once... Big deal. He's still good at his job and why people starting liking him in the first place.
anonymous The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 6/16/2010 4:11 PM
I think it's funny how people change their opinion about John when his quotes are taken out of context then thrown down with a biased statement next to them. Some people are so ignorant.
johnmayer The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 4/24/2011 7:05 AM
i think he's a cool guy. he's banged taylor swift. banged jennifer aniston. banged jessica simpson. yeah, what a real d****e bag this guy is banging taylor swift and s***. . john has you where he wants you. talking about him.
jenn The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 7/01/2010 6:54 AM
John Mayer is an acustic rock artist who can rock a guitar like no other! In 2003 he won his first Grammy Award for “Your Body Is a Wonderland” and since then has continued his success by winning additional Grammys. There is no doubt that he has more success to come as he releases his fifth album Battle Studies. InSeats.com offers permier tickets for his current tour so you can catch all his hit new singles. For John Mayer tickets visit www.inseats.com/john-mayer
Nick Featherston The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 8/28/2011 4:39 PM
You people are just as bad as you think he is. The only reason you are complaining about the things he says is because you don't expect celebrities to say what they feel. I can guarantee that 90% of you that are complaining have been around people who say worse things than him. But did you say anything to them? No? Well, I'm guessing it's because, here, you have the safety of a computer screen that you can hide behind. You know that nobody can judge you because they can't see who you are. This man is an inspiration because he doesn't change what he believes in just because the public is listening.
KUNTG The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 4/19/2011 8:01 PM
Douche Bags are Hot & he knows that very well.... you would think someone who makes music like him would be boring & serious. But now I want to get laid with this a*****e cuz he actually does a good job at it.... & that my friend is HOT.
blah The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 5/16/2011 9:22 PM
He was only around his later 20's when making comment #1 and #2. He's young, he's rash, and he doesn't think before he says something. He sounds like the majority of young people in the world. Just because he is famous doesn't make him any different from the other young people. Lately he's really mellowed out. He grew his hair long, avoided major media attention for a while, and grew older. His battle studies has songs about loneliness. His new original songs Born and raised, talks about him growing up. Don't think he isn't suffering from his mistakes.
Michael The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 1/07/2011 3:37 PM
1 and 2, are definitely douche comments. 5 is half douche half just joking around but i'd say mostly douche. number 3 he was just apologizing for a mistake that he made, i dont think its a douche move. But I really dont understand why number 4 is up there though. its the first line of his song called sucker, where he was referring to a girl that he loved but paid him no attention. so... yeah. all in all there are some douche moves listed up there. but if you've ever been to one of his concerts, he says some really inspirational and heart warming things. he might let somethings slip every now and again, but i think he's a good person.
"MAYER: My two biggest hits are 'Your Body Is a Wonderland' and 'Daughters.' If you think those songs are pandering, then you'll think I'm a douche bag. It's like I come on very strong. I am a very…I'm just very. V-E-R-Y. And if you can't handle very, then I'm a douche bag. But I think the world needs a little very. That's why black people love me.
"I have male fans, but I'm persuading them to become female!"
“Sometimes I wish that I was the weather, you'd bring me up in conversation forever. And when it rained, I'd be the talk of the day.”
“I'm not being trite. I'm not being a parody of myself, and in finding a new kind of color to adopt for myself, it's not this or that: it's singer-songwriter, but it's also blues guitar player, it's also comedian.”
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The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 1/10/2011 4:25 PM
But the third is an apology for the second, and most of the rest are actually pretty harmlessly funny. What is douchy about admitting you are a chronic masterbater, liking attention, or wanting to write pornagraphy? I guess its possible that he may be a douche, but chances are that you are just judgmental.
The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 3/21/2010 7:58 PM
The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 5/02/2010 3:14 PM
The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 2/17/2010 2:45 PM
If I wasn't thought of as a young Bruce Springsteen before, I sure am now. at 11/30/2010 4:17 AM
The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 2/17/2010 2:35 PM
The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 10/27/2011 8:46 AM
The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 10/05/2011 6:31 AM
Even though I believe, he's not finiancialy well since he hasn't got an album out or toured, he recently donated $15, 000 to help individuals in Fairfield County living with HIV and AIDS.
He has also been putting time and effort into supporting Isaac, who is a 7year old boy that has MPS VI. Look at the link below for proof.
www.theisaacfoundationnews.blogspot.com
The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 3/10/2010 5:05 PM
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The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 12/15/2010 1:37 PM
The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 9/11/2010 10:40 AM
The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 2/20/2010 2:24 PM
The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 7/20/2010 6:59 PM
"I'm sort of a half-chick . . . I can insert a tampon" at 2/20/2010 2:25 PM
The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 12/30/2010 7:03 PM
The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 4/16/2010 10:10 PM
The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 1/15/2011 10:41 PM
Re using the N Word in an interview, I am sorry that I used the word. at 11/10/2010 6:41 PM
The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 2/17/2010 2:28 PM
The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 2/17/2010 2:38 PM
The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 2/17/2010 10:09 PM
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The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 3/05/2010 5:35 PM
"I have male fans, but I'm persuading them to become female!" at 6/09/2010 1:00 PM
The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 4/25/2010 12:29 PM
My biggest dream is to write pornography at 6/09/2010 12:59 PM
If I wasn't thought of as a young Bruce Springsteen before, I sure am now. at 6/09/2010 12:56 PM
The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 2/13/2011 8:42 AM
The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 3/05/2010 5:37 PM
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The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 6/09/2010 1:02 PM
The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 12/17/2010 9:18 PM
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The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 2/21/2010 4:10 PM
The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 1/15/2011 10:46 PM
They're just a few (okay like 15 but whatever) freaking quotes he said once... Big deal. He's still good at his job and why people starting liking him in the first place.
The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 6/16/2010 4:11 PM
The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 7/28/2010 11:44 AM
If you really had a hood pass, you could call it a n!!!er pass. at 11/05/2010 2:40 AM
Sometimes I wish that I was the weather at 12/18/2010 6:20 AM
The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 4/24/2011 7:05 AM
The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 2/23/2010 5:07 AM
If I wasn't thought of as a young Bruce Springsteen before, I sure am now. at 1/04/2011 3:05 PM
The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 12/15/2010 1:34 PM
Sometimes I wish that I was the weather at 12/15/2010 1:01 PM
The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 7/01/2010 6:54 AM
The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 8/28/2011 4:39 PM
The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 3/03/2010 3:14 PM
The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 7/28/2010 11:43 AM
The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 3/30/2010 8:47 PM
how ugly and awful.
:(
The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 5/02/2010 3:14 PM
The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 2/11/2010 11:10 AM
The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 2/17/2010 4:01 PM
Re using the N Word in an interview, I am sorry that I used the word. at 12/16/2010 1:52 AM
The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 4/19/2011 8:01 PM
The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 2/11/2010 1:21 PM
The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 5/16/2011 9:22 PM
The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 2/17/2010 10:09 PM
The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 1/07/2011 3:37 PM
Sometimes I wish that I was the weather at 8/05/2010 10:18 AM
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The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 2/12/2010 10:58 AM