The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes Quotations
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The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes

Stupid Celebrity Quotes Stupid Celebrity Quotes  Royalty Free Music 384,483 views 15 items 95 voters
The douchiest quotes from singer John Mayer (douchebag), from his sex life with Jessica Simpson to his masturbation rituals. He can't seem to keep his mouth in check (especially in a recent Playboy interview) and eventually someone is going to try and wash it out with a bag of Summer's Eve. Mr. Mayer obviously writes songs because he can't form cohesive sentences (we think we're starting to see why/how he dated Jessica Simpson). It's not only us, other girls (Taylor Swift, ahem) also view him as the ultimate douche. Let the douchebaggery begin...
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  1. 1
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    If you really had a hood pass, you could call it a n!!!er pass.

    "MAYER: My two biggest hits are 'Your Body Is a Wonderland' and 'Daughters.' If you think those songs are pandering, then you'll think I'm a douche bag. It's like I come on very strong. I am a very…I'm just very. V-E-R-Y. And if you can't handle very, then I'm a douche bag. But I think the world needs a little very. That's why black people love me.

    PLAYBOY: Because you're very?

    MAYER: Someone asked me the other day, 'What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?' And by the way, it's sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a n***** pass."

    Playboy interview, 2010
  3. 2
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    If I wasn't thought of as a young Bruce Springsteen before, I sure am now.

    2:52 This is a self-depricating video he made with some comedians that really doesn't stray very far from reality.
  4. 3
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    Sometimes I wish that I was the weather

    "Sometimes I wish that I was the weather, you'd bring me up in conversation forever. And when it rained, I'd be the talk of the day."

    John Mayer on meteorology.
  6. 4
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    "Think of how much mental capacity I'm using to meet the right person"

    What Mayer says he craves the most is to settle down with the right woman: "I'll be happy when I close out this life-partner thing," he says. "Think of how much mental capacity I'm using to meet the right person."
  7. 5
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    I'm not being a parody of myself.

    "I'm not being trite. I'm not being a parody of myself, and in finding a new kind of color to adopt for myself, it's not this or that: it's singer-songwriter, but it's also blues guitar player, it's also comedian."

    John Mayer on thinking he's funny.

items 1 - 5 of 15

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  1. Nolan Overdorf
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 11/10/2012 3:30 PM
    This page about john mayer interview wasn't necessary, but was really helpful.
  2. Francene Thoen
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 11/09/2012 1:30 PM
    Was wondering where I could find john mayer twitter quotes.
  3. Kimi Letbetter
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 10/25/2012 10:30 AM
    This is an alright resource for john mayer quotes.
  4. Shakia Medus
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 10/04/2012 3:30 AM
    Thanks, I was looking for john mayer jessica simpson quote.
  5. Twanda Tatis
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 9/28/2012 10:30 AM
    Yeah, this is a good place if you're looking for john mayer song quotes.
  6. Ludivina Seliga
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 9/03/2012 6:30 PM
    Ah, I guess I'll refer people to this john mayer is a douchebag page.
  7. Jeffry Weemes
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 8/30/2012 3:30 PM
    So this is where I can find douchebag quotes.
  8. Rivka Fassino
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 7/22/2012 3:30 AM
    I knew there was a place for john mayer douchebag.
  9. Alvaro Furcron
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 7/15/2012 3:30 AM
    This page is a good info place for john mayer. (Yes, info place).
  10. Alvaro Carosella
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 7/06/2012 6:22 PM
    john mayer is a douche. J/k?
  11. Jackson Vandivier
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 6/28/2012 10:30 PM
    This wasn't a bad john mayer douche list.
  12. RikR
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 6/01/2012 5:19 AM
    To hagstromV - clearly you have no sense of sight , sound and judgement ... You Americans should be happy to have such a pure and intelligent musician among you in the world of rihanna, beyonce , bieber and all that. He deserves respect.
  13. hagstromV
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 10/27/2011 8:46 AM
    John Mayer is a racist c**t! He's also an arrogant, half-assed guitar player who can't write songs if he had to. He's douche bag #1, I say. John, go play with your watch collection and leave the world alone, you twat!
  14. EmmaOmar
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 10/05/2011 6:31 AM
    John Mayer is a great man. He's caring and loving. He is a comedian. All comedians make racist jokes. It doesn't make them racist. Give the poor man a break. With the women thing, he's looking for the right person. Why would he waist his or his girlfriends time when he knows they don't have a f*ture. Isn't that what normal people do. He doesn't cheat or lie. He gets to know a girl and breaks it off when it doesn't work out



    Even though I believe, he's not finiancialy well since he hasn't got an album out or toured, he recently donated $15, 000 to help individuals in Fairfield County living with HIV and AIDS.

    He has also been putting time and effort into supporting Isaac, who is a 7year old boy that has MPS VI. Look at the link below for proof.

    www.theisaacfoundationnews.blogspot.com
  15. Nick Featherston
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 8/28/2011 4:39 PM
    You people are just as bad as you think he is. The only reason you are complaining about the things he says is because you don't expect celebrities to say what they feel. I can guarantee that 90% of you that are complaining have been around people who say worse things than him. But did you say anything to them? No? Well, I'm guessing it's because, here, you have the safety of a computer screen that you can hide behind. You know that nobody can judge you because they can't see who you are. This man is an inspiration because he doesn't change what he believes in just because the public is listening.
  16. blah
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 5/16/2011 9:22 PM
    He was only around his later 20's when making comment #1 and #2. He's young, he's rash, and he doesn't think before he says something. He sounds like the majority of young people in the world. Just because he is famous doesn't make him any different from the other young people. Lately he's really mellowed out. He grew his hair long, avoided major media attention for a while, and grew older. His battle studies has songs about loneliness. His new original songs Born and raised, talks about him growing up. Don't think he isn't suffering from his mistakes.
  17. johnmayer
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 4/24/2011 7:05 AM
    i think he's a cool guy. he's banged taylor swift. banged jennifer aniston. banged jessica simpson. yeah, what a real d****e bag this guy is banging taylor swift and s***. . john has you where he wants you. talking about him.
  18. KUNTG
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 4/19/2011 8:01 PM
    Douche Bags are Hot & he knows that very well.... you would think someone who makes music like him would be boring & serious. But now I want to get laid with this a*****e cuz he actually does a good job at it.... & that my friend is HOT.
  19. Anon77
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 2/13/2011 8:42 AM
    Some of the world's best music was written by the biggest idiots. I'm willing to accept that.
  20. Tom
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 1/10/2011 4:25 PM
    1 and 2 are douchey and I totally understand why people would hate that he said them if it was solely based on those two.

    But the third is an apology for the second, and most of the rest are actually pretty harmlessly funny. What is douchy about admitting you are a chronic masterbater, liking attention, or wanting to write p**nagraphy? I guess its possible that he may be a douche, but chances are that you are just judgmental.
  21. Michael
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 1/07/2011 3:37 PM
    1 and 2, are definitely douche comments. 5 is half douche half just joking around but i'd say mostly douche. number 3 he was just apologizing for a mistake that he made, i dont think its a douche move. But I really dont understand why number 4 is up there though. its the first line of his song called sucker, where he was referring to a girl that he loved but paid him no attention. so... yeah. all in all there are some douche moves listed up there. but if you've ever been to one of his concerts, he says some really inspirational and heart warming things. he might let somethings slip every now and again, but i think he's a good person.
  22. Notahater
    If I wasn't thought of as a young Bruce Springsteen before, I sure am now. at 1/04/2011 3:05 PM
    This video is funny as h**l don't know why you gotta hate on the guy so much
  23. K-Star
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 12/30/2010 7:03 PM
    I'm suprised so many commenters think he's a good musician. I hate that saccharine garbage he spews out.
  24. brittanyyyyy
    Sometimes I wish that I was the weather at 12/18/2010 6:20 AM
    i loveeee this3
  25. DudefromChicago
    Re using the N Word in an interview, I am sorry that I used the word. at 12/16/2010 1:52 AM
    He's like the Spencer Pratt of music.
  26. Joe
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 12/15/2010 1:34 PM
    I don't know if I can even be a fan anymore. What a TOTAL idiot. Damn.
  27. Joe
    Sometimes I wish that I was the weather at 12/15/2010 1:01 PM
    this was a good song lyric...but he is a douche
  28. Stella
    If I wasn't thought of as a young Bruce Springsteen before, I sure am now. at 11/30/2010 4:17 AM
    Hilarious. Not the video, but the fact that it's most likely not ironic.
  29. Lisa
    Re using the N Word in an interview, I am sorry that I used the word. at 11/10/2010 6:41 PM
    I John Mayer crazy or just stupid?
  30. JohnMayerWanker
    If you really had a hood pass, you could call it a n!!!er pass. at 11/05/2010 2:40 AM
    What a funkin WANKER!!!!
  31. cc
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 9/11/2010 10:40 AM
    What an a*****e - I now agree with the majority. He should use his mouth for singing only ( which he is good at) but unfortunately he thinks this automatically makes him an intellectual? LOL
  32. annie motherf***in chang
    Sometimes I wish that I was the weather at 8/05/2010 10:18 AM
    this is a f**king song. not a conversational quote from him. IT'S A SONG. he's singing to a woman he's in love with, and she has no idea. f**k you.
  33. bree
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 7/30/2010 12:12 PM
    these are SO taken out of context. those of u who hate john based off of this may want to think again. he's an incredible musician and an amazing writer. he thinks and feels just as deeply as anyone, but john has the amazing ability to articulate these feelings for us. if you actually listened to his music and read the things he writes, you'd be thanking him rather than bashing on him. he gives life to feelings that you dont know how to express.
    1. Joe
      The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 12/15/2010 1:37 PM
      Nope. I have listened to him for years and I agree that he is a brilliant songwriter and musician, but context or not, he is a TOTAL MORON in real time. This is a new opinion as of today and it sucks for me to say.
  34. Aiden Reitenbaugh
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 7/28/2010 11:43 AM
    John Mayer isnt a douche hes just a cool guy. he doesnt give a s**t about what other people think about him. I think thats quite clear.
  35. jenn
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 7/01/2010 6:54 AM
    John Mayer is an acustic rock artist who can rock a guitar like no other! In 2003 he won his first Grammy Award for “Your Body Is a Wonderland” and since then has continued his success by winning additional Grammys. There is no doubt that he has more success to come as he releases his fifth album Battle Studies. InSeats.com offers permier tickets for his current tour so you can catch all his hit new singles. For John Mayer tickets visit www.inseats.com/john-mayer
  36. anonymous
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 6/16/2010 4:11 PM
    I think it's funny how people change their opinion about John when his quotes are taken out of context then thrown down with a biased statement next to them. Some people are so ignorant.
    1. Aiden!
      The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 7/28/2010 11:44 AM
      Exactly people are so f**king stupid
  37. Dave72
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 6/09/2010 1:02 PM
    This guy is useless. Like a little toe or an appendix. What women see in him is beyond comprehension.
    1. richard
      The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 12/17/2010 9:18 PM
      try walking without a little toe f**k tard
  38. Dave72
    "I have male fans, but I'm persuading them to become female!" at 6/09/2010 1:00 PM
    He should change that to: "I have fans, but I'm persuading them to be non-existent."
  39. Dave72
    My biggest dream is to write pornography at 6/09/2010 12:59 PM
    Yeah, P**n. I guess that's better than the mental masturbation c**p he writes now.
  40. Dave72
    If I wasn't thought of as a young Bruce Springsteen before, I sure am now. at 6/09/2010 12:56 PM
    Your name shouldn't even be mentioned in the same language as Springsteen. He has more talent in a strand of his hair than John Mayer can ever dream of having
  41. Anonymous
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 4/25/2010 12:29 PM
    get a life pleeeeeeeeease.
  42. kellyjean
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 4/16/2010 10:10 PM
    well john mayer, you are gross & definately a douchbag
    1. just saying
      The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 1/15/2011 10:41 PM
      definitely*
  43. Anonymous
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 3/30/2010 8:47 PM
    my goodness i never seen this side of john mayer :(

    how ugly and awful.



    :(
    1. Anonymous
      The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 5/02/2010 3:14 PM
      I KNOW RIGHT! Jesus i loved this guy :(
  44. Anonymous
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 3/21/2010 7:58 PM
    LOL i LOVE the douch bag things he says XD it makes him seem more real and makes me know hes not perfect. hes soo weird hes such a funny man too! to me hes like my dream man like a freakin GOD.
    1. Anonymous
      The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 5/02/2010 3:14 PM
      you need help
  45. Anonymous
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 3/10/2010 5:05 PM
    his songs are amazing i can relate to them. sometimes i just think he's not from this world he is a beautiful person and those of you guys who dont believe or know that, you guys are narrowminded!
  46. Anonymous
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 3/10/2010 5:04 PM
    i love john mayer so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  47. Brettski
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 3/05/2010 5:37 PM
    the best john mayer douchebag quote is the outgaying another man. who in their straight mind wants to outgay someone?
    1. CorieGirl
      The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 3/05/2010 5:40 PM
      Obviously John Mayer. These john mayer stupid quotes make me irritated. Not a fan of him to say the least.
    1. John Barryman
      The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 3/05/2010 5:39 PM
      Haha yeah that one is funny. But, the john mayer quote about jessica simpson is most accurate to him being a sweet ass dude! I mean afterall not everyone gets to bang jessica simpson
  48. anonymous
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 3/03/2010 3:14 PM
    I still love him!
  49. from a black woman
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 3/01/2010 11:08 AM
    I used to think of you as a sensitive person John, your thoughts are all over the place. Cohesiveness goes a long way, either you're in or out? U talked about the hood pass? What the h**l is a HOOD PASS Anyway?? U Stereotypical SumB***h!! love your artistic talent personally, and will keep buying ur stuff. Do you know what TMI means? Everyone has a preference of who they are attracted to, it's ok....Just don't reveal everything dude!!!! keep it to yourself!!!!! Don't make me not like you.....
    1. Katelynn
      The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 5/08/2011 1:51 AM
      I honestly don't think he cares if you don't like him haha
  50. Anonymous
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 2/24/2010 6:45 PM
    OH MY GOD....SSSSHHHH JOHN DON'T TALK! JUST SING YOUR PRETTY SONGS.
  51. Anonymous
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 2/23/2010 5:07 AM
    good
  52. Anonymous
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 2/21/2010 4:10 PM
    What a jerk! These recent comments have completely and forever changed my opinion of this person. I have overlooked many of the comments he's made, chalking it up to alcohol and his age, but his chosen words are very telling about who he really is as a human being.
    1. justsaying
      The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 1/15/2011 10:46 PM
      "who he really is as a human being"?
      They're just a few (okay like 15 but whatever) freaking quotes he said once... Big deal. He's still good at his job and why people starting liking him in the first place.
  53. Anonymous
    "I'm sort of a half-chick . . . I can insert a tampon" at 2/20/2010 2:25 PM
    i wish someone would just tell him to stop, just stop talking you gigantic moron.
  54. Anonymous
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 2/20/2010 2:24 PM
    never has there been a man who deserves the title "douche" like john mayer does. i sometimes wonder if douche should be changed to john mayer, like "man i can't believe you did that, you're such a john mayer". it just seems more fitting somehow =l
    1. johnrocks
      The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 7/20/2010 6:59 PM
      erm if u were better than him u wouldnt be calling someone uv never even met a douche
  55. Anonymous
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 2/17/2010 10:09 PM
    good list I liked it
  56. Greg
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 2/17/2010 2:45 PM
    When opening my Playboy why would i want to read john mayer quotes? Playboy is my picture book. I hate how his douchiness is invading my space and time with my playmates! haha
  57. chelsay790
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 2/17/2010 2:35 PM
    #3 is arguably the dumbest john mayer quote I've ever read
  58. jdemo23
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 2/17/2010 2:28 PM
    hahah john mayor playboy quotes are amazing. he is such a tool, but i can't clown on him for all the girls he has been with.
    1. howdyhigh
      The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 2/17/2010 2:38 PM
      the john mayer playboy interview quotes SHOW why he should only play music and keep his mouth shut otherwise.........
      1. anup
        The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 2/17/2010 10:09 PM
        yes I agree
      1. jdemo23
        The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 2/17/2010 2:40 PM
        the best john mayer playboy quote is the one about his dick being like a white supremacist. he is definitely not the brightest guy and that interview just proved how retarded he is
        1. PolkadotKing
          The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 3/05/2010 5:35 PM
          the john mayer playboy quotes are definitely an example of who he really is.
  59. Anonymous
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 2/12/2010 5:29 PM
    Haha, someone totally called John Mayer out with this list on Twitter: http://twitter.com/kyleangeletti/statuses/9025687392
  60. Fan of good music
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 2/12/2010 10:58 AM
    Ha!! Fantastic job. This guy morphs into a bigger douche every day.
  61. great job douchebag
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 2/11/2010 1:21 PM
    good job reading the playboy interview and re posting all of here out of context..
  62. This is hilarious
    The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 2/11/2010 11:10 AM
    Always known he was an a-hole but wow-that sailor outfit in #5! brilliant find
    1. calistylie
      The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes at 2/17/2010 4:01 PM
      hahaha yeah what a class act, tool!

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