The 17 Craziest Charlie Sheen F*ck Ups of All Time By Rachel Stewart [15 more lists]

We've seen more of Charlie Sheen's insanity than ever before since he's recently started opening his mouth defending himself, most notably when he's gone literally against the hand that feeds him by starting a ""war"" with CBS and Two and a Half Men creator Chuck Lorre, not to mention his recent trip to the ER with a Hernia after doing coke for 36 hours with prostitutes and porn stars. Through the years, few stars have seen more trainwrecks than Charlie Sheen. So here, in full list-form and in all their headline glory, are the craziest things Charlie Sheen has ever done -- and that's saying something. From taking a knife to your girlfriend, to flat out shooting her, to threatening your wife's life, to using his status to try and get a hooker, here are his most dumbass shenanigans all in one place.

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1

The Hernia Hospitalization After 36 Hours of (Literal) Coke and Hookers

Charlie Sheen was rushed to the hospital on January 27th, 2011, after YET ANOTHER drug and hooker binge. porn star Kacey Jordan alleges that she spent the evening with Sheen before the 6:35 AM 911 call, which, get this, was placed by none other than Sheen's next door neighbors, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills stars Adrienne Maloof-Nassif, and her husband, Dr. Paul Nassif (because c'mon, you're watching that right? No? Just me?...)

The good rhinoplasty doctor and his well Botoxed partner made the call after Charlie expressed having ""severe abdominal pains.""

Sheen was rushed to the Cedar-Sinai medical center... and everyone's sure it had nothing to do with the 36 hours spent with 3-12 different women... one who's in the video and two more who left when Charlie was being carried out on a stretcher at 7 AM.

Worst. Walk of shame. Ever.
2

Accidentally Shoots Kelly Preston with a Gun

Clearly not exactly sober at the time, Sheen "accidentally" shot his then-fiance Kelly Preston in the arm; the wound required two stitches -- which, as you can imagine, didn't exactly work wonders for their engagement at the time.

Soon after that, Preston dumped Sheen and ultimately ended up with her current beau, cult-ambassador, possible-LGBT-leader and actor John Travolta.

Apparently no one filed charges, probably because everyone involved already knew Charlie Sheen and what to expect from the guy, and hey, at least this one wasn't on Christmas.
3

Drunkenly Pulls a Knife on Girlfriend, Gets Arrested

After he drunkenly pulled a knife on Brooke Mueller, Sheen was carted away to Pitikin County Jail for an eight hour incarceration...on Christmas.

That's right, he pulled a KNIFE on a significant other. A KNIFE -- like a greaser in the 50s. He's a multi-millionaire and he pulls a KNIFE.

He was released on $8,500 bail (WTF, seriously), and of course, faced a court date and subsequent legal issues, including a restraining order. After the incident, Sheen was charged with felony menacing, third-degree assault and criminal mischief. Sheen copped to misdemeanor assault as part of a plea bargain in which the other charges against him were dismissed.

According to a story written by Associated Press reporter Solomon Banda, Sheen was "sentenced to 30 days in a rehabilitation center, 30 days of probation, and 36 hours of anger management."

Sheen is also prohibited from owning a gun for the rest of his life (see item 15 for irony.)

Oh yeah, this also happened on Christmas. ON CHRISTMAS.
4

Charlie Sheen Gambles During Childbirth, Threatens to Kill Wife (Denise Richards)

Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards's divorce was one of the ugliest battles in Hollywood history.

In court papers filed in 2006, Denise Richards, Sheen's second wife, made 17 pages worth of allegations against Sheen, including, but not limited to:

1. ""Sheen abused prescription drugs after the 2004 birth of their first daughter, Sam, and told Richards ""I 'better not tell anybody about his using these drugs and better keep it to myself.' I understood by these statements that (he) would physically harm me and our baby."

2. Richards also claimed that on the way to the hospital for the birth of their daughter Lola last year, Sheen placed a gambling bet by phone, and was checking his pager, yes pager, for the results as she was wheeled into surgery for her C-section.

3. Things turned violent on Dec. 27, 2005, according to the papers, when Sheen allegedly hit Richards's wrist and shoved her in the stomach after she confronted him about p*********y Web sites featuring ""very young girls"" that he'd been visiting. She claims Sheen told her that ""if I revealed anything about his lifestyle, 'You won't lay your head down at night.' I understood this to mean that he would kill me."

Sheen has pulled this sh*t before; in 1996, he was charged with assaulting his girlfriend at his home in California. He pleaded no contest and got two years probation.
5

Charlie Sheen Goes Head to Head with Chuck Lorre

For some reason, Charlie Sheen, as messed up as he is, feels like he's more clear-headed than his hugely successful boss, Chuck Lorre. Lorre has created such acclaimed shows such as Roseanne, Dharma & Greg, Mike & Molly, The Big Bang Theory and, last but not least, Two and a Half Men. The f*ture of the last has been in the hot seat ever since Sheen's bingeful weekend in January and has now been finally canceled. But not without a fight, or rather, several.

Sheen has called Lorre a ""clown,"" a ""contaminated little maggot,"" a ""stupid, stupid little man"" and a ""p**sy punk."" He's also claimed Lorre pocketed money from him, his family and the Two and a Half Men crew. However, contradictorily, other sources refer to Lorre as a great guy who, as it turns out, treats the crew exceptionally well.

I don't know about you but it's probably smarter to believe the source who's not high off cocaine.
6

Charlie Sheen Tries to Use His Status to Email a Hooker

This time our good pal Charlie Sheen was a real lady killer - during a recent stay in Vegas, he was looking for some good old fashioned company and happened upon a website called CityVibe.com where, of course, it's all about good clean fun.

Someone named "Ginger" caught Sheen's eye, and so he called the number listed in her ad to no avail.

So, being the resourceful young man that he is, Sheen emailed the potentially busty hook up, with a charming allusion to his status as an A-list actor:

I'm an A-lister you might like to meet. Here's the full email:
7

Charlie Sheen Wins an Argument Over a Song Using a Knife. A KNIFE.

Here we go again. Sheen held a knife to then wife Brooke Mueller's neck in an altercation that started with the Train song, "Drops of Jupiter."

That's right, they were arguing over a song -- which, in turn, caused Charlie to threaten a woman's life.

According to Mueller's account of events, Sheen said, "You better be in fear. If you tell anybody, I'll kill you, I have ex-police I can hire who know how to get the job done and they won't leave a trace."

Embedded here is the song which, as far as anyone can tell, would drive most people to murder.
8

Cures Drug and Alcohol Addiction with His Mind

This one definitely puts Charlie Sheen on the market for being out of his mind. He said on the record while calling in to "The Alex Jones Show" that he does not have a drug and alcohol problem because, well, he cured it...with his mind.

That's right, all the research and studies that lab scientists and doctors have done over the years in hopes of curing drug and alcohol addiction lied only a few feet away from a test tube (be it an unsanitary one lying on the floor of a Vegas hotel): Charlie Sheen's highly intoxicated mind.

Sheen claimed that Alcoholics Anonymous, the rehab that he was forced to check himself into after completely blowing it (literally) after a three day bender, is a cult. And that "it's stupid and followed by STUPID people."

Now if only Sheen can cure his anger management problem with his mind, and his elementary attempt of insulting people with the word "stupid," we would be living in a better place.
9

Charlie Sheen Sleeps with Thousands of Women, Apparently.

Let's go ahead and take a trip down memory lane, and consider all the porn stars, escorts, random bar chicks, and wifeys that Charlie Sheen has had the pleasure of violating.

Sheen supposedly has slept with nearly 5,000 different women. How? Who the hell knows.

And also, if you pay for sex, shouldn't that damper the number a bit? He was listed number two on a recent ""Living Sex Legends"" list, and his past ""love"" affairs include Brooke Mueller, Denise Richards, Kelly Preston, Tamara Beckwith, Tabitha Stevens, Dolly Fox, Paula Profitt, Sarah Bruce, Heather Hunter, Ginger Lynn, Donna Peel, and the list goes on and on.
10

Charlie Sheen Calls the Public "A Bunch of Turds" for Talking About His F*ck Ups

After the "bad reaction to medication/hernia" incident, Sheen checked himself into rehab.

According to Radaronline.com, Sheen's only comment on the situation was "I'm fine. People don't seem to get it.... Guy can't have a great time and do his job also? Bunch of turds."

Production on his hit TV show Two and a Half Men has been put on hold until Sheen completes his rehab program.

CBS, Warner Brothers TV and Chuck Lorre, Two and Half Men creator, issued a statement commenting, "We are profoundly concerned for his health and well-being, and support his decision." I give them props for keeping the hope alive, even though they're paying him almost $2 Million PER EPISODE OF TWO AND A HALF MEN.
11

Kids? Eeeeh, No, I'm Okay: Charlie Sheen Gives Up Custody

When Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards originally got divorced in 2005, they shared custody of their two daughters, Sam and Lola.

However, after many a drug and hooker binge, Sheen gave Denise full custody of the kids.

He pays $50,000 a month in child support, is happy to remarry, has plenty of time to shamelessly bang escorts, generally s**t around, and snort coke religiously, but spending time with the kids? Eeeeeehhh, commitment and family values are for squares.
12

Destroys a Room While His Children Are a Few Floors Away

On October 26, 2010, Charlie Sheen trashed his room at the Plaza Hotel, but this time he was reportedly only with one hooker, instead of three, which goes to show that he's taking baby steps here and there.

After damaging the chandelier and the tables and chairs in the room, Denise Richards (his ex-wife) and their children Lola and Sam took him to the New York Columbia Presbyterian Hospital.

Denise was staying on the 18th floor, Charlie on an upper level.

There were over $7,000 in damages to the room.

Sheen's representation blamed the incident on a bad reaction to medication.
13

YOU MEAN YOU CAN HAVE COKE DELIVERED!?

That's right folks. A Briefcase filled with cocaine delivered by to none other than the Hollywood bad boy, Charlie Sheen. The night before the ""hernia"" hospitalization, Sheen's bender included a very ""special"" delivery, probably handed to him directly by one of the three different escorts of the night. Sheen has snorted coke for years, but so far, this was the first incident of an entire briefcase worth of the stuff.

That's right, a BRIEFCASE. If this sounds unrealistic, please keep in mind that Charlie Sheen earns nearly $2 Million per episode of Two and a Half Men.

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14

The Heidi Fleiss Debacle - He Outs Hedi Fleiss

Heidi Fleiss (who is a famous Madame, aka head mistress of a brothel, for those of you not around/conscious during the 90s) never publicly named any of her clients, even during her trial, but Charlie Sheen publicly copped to using her service (hookers on demand.)

Fleiss was eventually convicted of eight counts of conspiracy, tax evasion, and money laundering. Sheen has been hospitalized for psychological and criminal issues. See everyone? PROSTITUTION is not the way! Then again, who cares about the law when you can have those sweet parrots by your side.
15

Hangs Out with and Parties with Famous Transexuals, Denies It

Heidi Fleiss exacted her revenge on Sheen by way of Kayla Coxx, who proudly proclaims the title "Tranny at Large."

Fleiss threatened to release a video tape of Sheen and Coxx hanging out at his mansion, according to the New York Daily News.

The Dish reported that the tapes were very "incriminating"; Kayla parks his car at his home, rides around in Sheen's limo, hints out how "intimate" he/she is with Sheen, and, even worse, Sheen asks her to "sashay" down the beach and see how many men mistake her for a woman.

This video tape has yet to be released, but we'll be waiting with our popcorn already prepared.
16

Did So Much Cocaine That His Dad Called the Cops

In 1998, after a cocaine overdose, Martin Sheen reported Charlie Sheen for violating his parole and issued a public appeal for fans to "pray for him."

He was arrested and sent to rehab; this one was the first of many for Sheen. A little embarassing to have your parents call the cops though......especially at age 33.
17

Is Charlie Sheen Dead? = Google Trending Topic

No. Not Yet. But whenever anyone searches him on google that's one the first sites that pops up.

http://www.ischarliesheendead.com

Just so you have a legitimate news source to site for when he does accidentally overdose once and for all, that's your link.

There are plenty of other cases similar to the ones on this list, but when your life is in the news in a light that is so horrible-sounding that thousands of people think you're dead: you've hit pretty low on the scale, if not rock bottom.

Make sure to keep refreshing that site, just so you're the first to know... Sorry Charlie. Hot Shots and Major League were awesome.